Anxiety, and What Can Help

Out of all the things I wanted to write about today, this wasn’t planned. But sometimes we just have to talk about this. In some way I’m hoping this will help me sleep tonight because, omg, it’s been on a rampage in my brain lately.

I wasn’t diagnosed with anxiety officially until last year, but looking back I can see I’ve had it for over two decades, and I could probably even chart its path of devastation over the course of my life. Over 40 million Americans over the age of 18 suffer from anxiety, and there are tons more even younger and all over the world. There are even more who go undiagnosed, and in my opinion, not being aware of it is the most dangerous part.

Anxiety is like a plague, and there isn’t one sure fire way to stop it. It can disguise itself as anger, paranoia, insecurity, confusion, insomnia, jealousy, and essentially any other negative trait that leaves us flailing in life. It has the power to take a perfect day and fill it with dread and tears and arguing. In times when you are most vulnerable, it will give you an unwarranted mental slideshow of all the ways things can go badly with you or your friends or loved ones, or even your pets. It can take someone’s simple statement and warp it into a personal attack on you.

Anxiety is like that one person who responds, “Well, actually…” to everything you say, in that nagging, know-it-all voice.

I remember a few years back talking with a friend who said she wishes we could just get the word “anxiety” out of our vocabulary; that maybe without acknowledging it it won’t have any power over us. Maybe without it, in the back of our minds we wouldn’t hold ourselves back with the idea that maybe we shouldn’t because anxiety. Sometimes when I’m having an attack, I think about that and try. I haven’t had any luck yet, but I’ll let you know if I do.

Sometimes anxiety gives us room to breathe, coming in waves instead of full force. For a long time I had mine under control and I was thankful, but it likes to get me when I’m comfortable again. So here we are. I’ve had insomnia for a week now thanks to all this. After finishing this post I will be popping a Klonopin and going to bed, hoping to get some sleep so I can get work done tomorrow.

Don’t worry: I’m okay. This is tolerable and I’ll get through it, but I’ve found sharing is helpful for me so before I go I’d like to share with you some non-prescription things that have worked in taking the edge off for me.

Talking about it with a friend, loved one, or in a journal – or here.
I don’t know what it is about talking that helps. Maybe it’s sort of like sharing the load, like in the song Lean On Me. Having someone or something in your life who can listen and understand when you say you’re having trouble with anxiety is so important. If you don’t have that person, please never hesitate to reach out to me.

Deep (or simply being conscious of) breathing.
I never believed in this because, like, “ok, wow, you’re breathing – you do that all the time, how could this possibly help?” Well, I was in the ER once with a panic attack and they’d drugged me up and I was on the mend, preparing to get discharged, but one of the machines I was hooked to kept going off. The nurse came in and told me I need to practice deep breathing because, despite having calmed down, my breathing was still shallow and I was triggering the respiratory monitor.
Later, when I thought about it and made a conscious effort to focus on breathing, I realized I have actually gotten into a full habit of shallow breathing, so basically my breathing had been shallow 24/7 for a very long time. After learning that, I now practice breathing at a deeper (or, really, normal) rate, and I’ve found that I do feel more relaxed and calm doing this.

Weighted blankets (or people, if you don’t have one).
Oh man, the mainstream production of weighted blankets is so great, but I wouldn’t have understood the need for them a few years ago. I’ve found, and I don’t even remember how or why, that having weight on me really does help. I don’t have a weighted blanket, but usually when I’m having a bad time, I ask my kids or partner to simply lay on me and it’s like… I don’t even know the science or psychology behind it, but it helps me and it’s amazing.

Going outside and sitting alone (or with animals).
I guess this is about getting fresh air and sunlight, but sometimes when I feel overwhelmed in one way or another, removing myself from within four walls and physical things often aids in getting my mind to stop going all over the place. I am lucky enough to live out in the country so there’s a lot of space for me to get away, but I hope you have a place you can go to as well. Somehow my neighbor’s dog always knows when I’m struggling because he finds me every time I’m outside for this reason – I don’t know how, he lives half a mile away, but I’m not going to question it.

If you suffer from anxiety as well, as I know so many of us do, feel free to tell me about your experiences because everyone handles it differently. What’s worked for you? What hasn’t? If you don’t suffer from anxiety, do you have any questions or comments or experiences with stress you’d like to talk about? I’d love for you to share your story if you feel comfortable. I wish all of you ease of mind tonight and beyond. We’re all in this together <3

Next post will be less of a mess, I promise!


New Year, New Content!

Hi, everyone! Welcome to 2019, and to my first blog post of the new year. I’m thrilled to jump into all the wonderful things I want to talk about and do and play, but for this first post I thought I would share with you a little piece of what 2018 brought into my life.

I spent a huge amount of 2018 not doing too well. I was ill and suffering from major depression, so my bed and I had a lot of quality time together. I had to quit a job I had once been extremely good at due to my health, then tried to work a much simpler job and unfortunately got laid off for missing too many days – once again, due to my health. It was good times, as you can imagine.

But the last few months of the year were some of the best, and because of these and tons of support I received from friends and loved ones, I was able to pull myself out of my hole and finish the year stronger than I had been. Overall this made 2018 a wonderful year for me.

The biggest change for me in 2018 was in the beginning of October, when I launched a new handcrafted jewelry and creative business called Intricate Disarray. It’s been such an exciting adventure so far – sometimes scary, of course – and I’ve learned and grown a ton as an entrepreneur since I began.

I’ve set up a workspace where I can create and think and write and work, and I sit here every day, happily working away on many projects. I can’t wait to see where it goes and what I’m able to accomplish with it.

Intricate Disarray

Being my own boss has given me the control and purpose I needed in my life, because there’s nothing worse than needing to work to survive and not being able to because of the demands and expectations of someone else. It has taken the edge off of the hopelessness that comes along with chronic illness, and I’m truly thankful to be able to do this.

Plus, working my own hours gives me the opportunity to write here and interact with all of you. Bonus!

I would love to hear about your 2018, good or bad, if you’d like to share. Did you try anything new, go somewhere exciting, or find something that made you happy? I truly hope that whatever 2018 did to you, you have entered 2019 with a happy heart and a positive outlook. One of the biggest lessons I learned this past year is that no matter the situation, there’s always hope. You just have to fight through. And I hope to pass this message along to anyone who needs it.

Thank you for reading, and see you next time! <3

2019 Plans

Hi, everyone. Merry Christmas to all who celebrate, and happy Tuesday to all. (I wrote this yesterday and had issues with posting so happy Wednesday to all now!)

It goes without saying that it’s been an extremely long time since I updated this blog. I could go over the multitude of reasons why… or I could just talk about what I would like to do going forward. I think I’d rather do the latter, mostly because like… that would be a lot ok, haha.

I don’t know how many people still follow The Creeper Legacy, or Sims stories at all (I hope it’s still a great and thriving community!). I’m very much out of the loop at this point, but if you’re here reading this right now I want to thank you for lending your support through all of these years. I still love playing Sims games and games in general and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed sharing this time with you, as sporadic as I’ve been with updates.

Starting in January 2019 I want to update this blog more regularly, but I want to do more with it. I want to expand… all things. I want this blog to be a place to share not only the love of The Sims 3, but the whole Sims franchise, other video games, as well as share personal stories and thoughts with all of you. I want it to be a place of fun and honesty, laughs and real talk, nerdiness and freedom.

I know this isn’t everyone’s cup of tea and I know changing types of content can be annoying, so I want to warn you all beforehand. If you don’t like this sort of content – the kind where you never really know what will be posted next, with Sims series and one shot posts mixed together – I completely understand and will take no offense if you decide to unfollow. You came for Sims 3 things, after all. If you enjoy various video game content and random anecdotes dotted with fictional storytelling, then feel free to stick around.

I hope you join me for the happy and exciting things I have planned, but if you’d rather not, I leave you with a heartfelt goodbye and a sincere thank you for all of your support <3 I really hope you’re all doing amazingly and I can’t wait to catch up with you all.

Take care, and see you again soon!

Chapter Eight: This One is Longer (TWSS)

Keith: Peaches, babe, happy birthday. Have I told you how happy I am to have built this life with you? You have really helped me use my Nurturing trait to its fullest potential.

Peaches Honeyblossom: I love you, Keith. You’re the greatest partner in life I could’ve asked for, even though it took a thousand tries to marry you. I am happy to grow old with you. Even though you’ve been old for a while.

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Chapter Seven: The Quickie, Part Two

Llama: Mmm, I smell a sweet aroma. Is that a Peaches Honeyblossom I am sensing in the air of this very new save file?

I mean, it’s not new, technically…

Llama: Oh, it’s new. It’s so new I’m like the very first spawned NPC. You’re not fooling anyone, lady!

Alright, so I had to start a new save file. Again. On a new computer. And so now time has sped up. Because I’m truly terrible at this. Please bear with me, this isn’t even just technical difficulties it’s like actual human functional difficulties on my end at this point. Idek.

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Chapter Four: The One With Four Weddings

Although she has no friends because she’s so far spent her entire young adult life trying to please a man (which is a major step back in the women’s movement but what can you do), Peaches rolls the wish to have a bachelorette party. I invite the sims I believe she’s had actual interactions with and hope for the best.

Oddly enough, Dayna isn’t even on the list of sims we could invite. Figures.

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