Chapter 2: Playing Hide & Seek

“Welp, time for breakfast. Let’s see what these guys are cookin’ up for me this morning.”

“That guy is here again, let’s pretend we’re furniture!”

“What are you doing? Why are you standing like that?”

“Aw, man. I guess a lawn flamingo wasn’t the right furniture choice.”

“Let’s see… what would be a good conversation starter while your sister, wife, mom, or whoever makes food?”

“Um… we don’t even have to ta–“

“YOU HAVE THE WORST HOUSE. WHAT, ARE YOU FEEDING BABIES WITH YOUR PUREED BANANA WALLPAPER?”

Uh. Out of all dialogue choices, that one’s probably the worst, Simmy.

“I CAN’T HELP IT, I WAS CODED THIS WAY.”

Great, so now we’ll sit down to some, uh… breakfast sushi.

“I was coded this way too?”

Okay, that can’t be everyone’s excuse.

“This sushi tastes like your entire existence. Just garbage.”

“…There are many knives nearby.”

Omg Simothy you aren’t going to have anywhere to eat at this rate.

“Alright! What a great start to the day! A nice visit, great conversation…”

You are so oblivious…

“…a full belly, and now it’s time to go to the Summer Festival as per tradition of your legacies.”

“I’m supposed to be scoping out a future spouse right now, right?”

Uh, kinda, yeah. You aren’t getting any younger.

“Well, I’m pretty sure I’ve found her.”

Where?

“I love a woman who isn’t afraid to dab in public.”

…Uhh, yeah. And those socks. Hot.

“Right?”

I guess go talk to her if you’re into it.

Uh, oh, Simothy. Looks like you may have some competition there.

“No way, I’m better than a dog.”

No one is better than a dog. NO ONE.

“Hi. I’m Simothy. You can call me Sim.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m *eats whole head of lettuce, making name unintelligible*”

That totally wasn’t because I didn’t write down her name.


Dog: *pretends balloons are Simothy’s bal… um, feet*

“Oh…”

Ah, sweet good boy doggo is yanking the attention away, better do something!

“Don’t worry, I got this. I know a thing or two about hooking up, alright?”

“So, you got any cash so I can take you on a date sometime?”

“…”

“Let me put it to you like this: If I had billions in cash in my pocket right now and you asked me that, I would pretend I did not just so I didn’t have to date you.”

“Psh, yeah, like billions of cash would even fit in your pockets… I’m not sad.”

“Good, because honey, I ain’t gonna put a band-aid on your busted ego.”

“Okay, I get it, you aren’t interested. You don’t have to be a bully!”

It’s true, I didn’t imagine her being this mean. Interesting.

“A little help?”

Uh, quick, ask her to water balloon fight.

“Well, why didn’t you ask before, silly goose? I love water balloon fighting.”

Works every time.

Dog: And now, I bite the real thing!

Hey, Simothy, I think it’s time to do some more spouse hunting… Before you lose a limb.

STILL A GOOD BOY.

“Ahh, okay, what do we have here? Hmm…”

“Hi, I’m…”

NOPE SHE IS A TEEN I JUST REALIZED ABORT MISSION

All the teens in town shop in the same store, I see.

“Let us be who we are with no judgement ok?”

“Gosh dang, I’m not having any luck finding a potential wife or even a husband. Where are all the good sims? I’m Simothy Eaxis for plumbob’s sake!”

“Uh, dream girl right here, hello?”

“Wait a second, do you see what I’m seeing?”

I’m probably looking about a foot higher than you are, so no.

“Hi there, I’m *eats fifteen gumballs*”

“I’m Simothy, and I’m working extremely hard to keep eye contact because I respect you as a person.”

Good try, Simmy. But even I’m looking. I’ve never had a spawned sim looking so gorgeous. The only problem is she’s a paparazzi, and they’re always–

“I’ve gotta go, but call me sometime, alright? I can spare about two seconds each day.”

Leaving. Ugh.

“I’ll definitely be calling.”

Hopefully it works out because dream girl looks like she’s found someone…

WHO WILL SIMOTHY MARRY? I mean, date. Dating first. Long term relationship. Get to know a person before getting hitch–who am I kidding, this is the sims we’re talking about. We’ll see next time! Thank you for reading, and best wishes <3

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