Welcome back, everyone, to the legacy that is only a month younger than my son. He is turning seven this year. Fingers crossed I’ll finish by the time he turns ten.
Firstly, I need to drop a pile of bad news on your lap. The legacy is gone. Chad through Jermajesty. Gone. I wasn’t kidding last chapter. I mean, I can only tell from my end, but I’m pretty sure if you go back to my previous chapters and click through, all the pictures are broken. All of them. And I don’t know if or when I will ever be able to fix that. All that work is just poof. POOF.
But let me clean that bad news up (hopefully?) with a dustpan of good news, which is that I also wasn’t kidding when I said I am restarting the legacy. That’s right. Ten more generations of this shiz. Are you going to hang in there? I can only hope, but you may have a life to get to, whereas I probably still won’t. SO LET’S TRY THIS AGAIN, EH? Enough of the talking. We’ve got a lot of work to do.
Felicia the University Llama: Maybe if you’d gone to university you would know how to not fail at life and sims legacies.
Wow. Thanks. But you know what? BYE FELICIA.
Felicia the University Llama: I can’t believe you gave me dialogue just to set up that joke.
Shut up, I hate you.
So, I dropped Peaches Honeyblossom in Storybrook County, which is empty to begin with. I tried to rush some immigrants in via Twallan’s SP and soon found out that, hey, Peaches isn’t the worst dressed sim in town now.
Her first wish was to gain a Logic skill point. Boom. Done. We are off to a good start.
Peaches Honeyblossom: Except I still look like a garbage disposal half ate me.
Right, yes, let’s fix that, shall we?
Peaches Honeyblossom: Well, scratch that. I‘ve still got it. Look at dat ass.
Peaches Honeyblossom: Oh, there we go! It’s like I’m brand new but also just like the old Peaches and not a clone.
Shh, don’t remind me.
Peaches Honeyblossom: What now?
Now we get you married and knocked up. Or maybe the other way around, depending. To the park! Most sims go there, right?
Perfect advice for ladies: The best way to attract your future spouse is to rapidly shove as many hot dogs in your mouth as you can.
…Although, dude on the end is selling it way better.
Peaches Honeyblossom: Omg that was so easy. Wow, you guys suck.
Confession: I only had Peaches enter the hot dog eating contest because her hunger bar was stupidly low and the hot dogs were free.
Hey, it works. Legacies are so much easier now. Poor Chad had to act inappropriate at people’s houses and junk for this kind of meal.
Peaches Honeyblossom: Uh… Wow, I think I’m a lesbian.
Well, she’s not. She’s married to a man, and you’re not a homewrecker.
Peaches Honeyblossom: I mean, who really knows what I am at this point. I’m still learning about myself.
Don’t get all introspective on me, that’s my job.
Oh, also, to refresh everyone’s memory (mine mainly), Peaches’ traits are Genius, Loves the Outdoors, Neurotic, Perceptive, and Photographer’s Eye. I’m sure we will put one if not three of those traits to good use at some point.
I wasn’t entirely sure of my new set of eye defaults (I used my own resource page to re-download my cc because I can’t tell you enough how much of everything I lost, but I changed a few things) but they looked really good on this guy so I will keep them for now.
Peaches Honeyblossom: I can’t stop looking at them.
Guy: Your shadow is on my face, but I’d rather your face be on my face.
Ok stop. He’s engaged. YOU’RE ENGAGED, BRO.
Storybrook County had this amazing campsite to add to the town, so I grabbed that up. It’s basically perfect for a legacy beginning.
Unicorn Light: COME SEEEEEEE MEEEEEEE.
Peaches Honeyblossom: Too tired.
She’ll be at the campsite for a bit, considering this is what her home lot actually looks like right now. I only bought the fridge to keep the hot dogs she won fresh.
Peaches Honeyblossom: Night night, bitches.
Yes, get good sleep because tomorrow is THE DAY YOU FIND A SPOUSE.
Peaches Honeyblossom: Yeah, I’ll get tons of sleep with that amount of pressure on my shoulders.
I held off on getting Peaches a job because I wanted her to explore the town a little more. It still seemed pretty empty. So first, we visited a beach, which had this nice banquet table set up in a little shack. I didn’t realize it would cost us money to serve the food, though, because I’m a noob, so goodbye $250.
Peaches Honeyblossom: Wow, MVP. Best simmer.
Shut up and eat everything. Stuff some in your pockets for your fridge, too, none of this is going to go to waste.
Then we stopped by a bar that had a claw machine and WE WON A TOY DRAGON.
We may not eat dinner, but THIS WAS WORTH IT.
And Peaches sat at this bar for a good two sim hours. No one was there. The town is DEAD.
Peaches Honeyblossom: Welp, you tried. Goodbye forever, everyone. Happy simming!
WE ARE NOT GIVING UP.
Feeling highly discouraged, I sent Peaches home to eat a hot dog. Then I sold the university starter pack crap and some other thing and guess what?
We were able to buy a bed. Hooray.
Peaches Honeyblossom: Yay. Goodnight.
Peaches Honeyblossom: Yes, yes, I get it. I will find a spouse tomorrow.
No, tomorrow you’re getting a job so you can stop living outdoors.
And this is why.
I don’t know who this lady is or why she’s so compelled to watch Peaches sleep, but this is so typical. Creepers attract creepers. GO AWAY.
Peaches Honeyblossom: Oh my gosh, it’s so freakin’ hot.
Woman: YEAH YOU ARE.
Peaches got overheated from sleeping outside until 11am. She also got a tan.
Before running to get a job, we stopped by the gym for her very first shower so she wouldn’t show up smelling like a hippopotamus. Aww, it’s like we’re almost real adults now. Taking showers, getting jobs…
…Being the opening scene in the show Stalker. WHY ARE YOU HERE NOW, LADY?
And she literally… She turned and started walking as Peaches passed. HELP US. S.O.S.
Peaches Honeyblossom: Maybe she’s like Slenderman. Maybe if I don’t turn around I won’t die.
So… I got distracted from the job search because I was like, “ok, I’ll check the park one last time for spouse options.” There was a performance going on, surely there would be lots of sims there!
Turns out, the performer didn’t even make it. What are you even dancing to, Peaches? Who are you cheering for? What is your deal?
Peaches was also hungry, so I tried to do another eating contest, but no one was there.
Peaches Honeyblossom: I seriously can’t do this again.
Ugh, fine, spend your final 12 dollars on some chili cheese fries or something.
Vendor: Hey, Peach—er, I mean, stranger. What can I get for you today?
Peaches Honeyblossom: Heeeey, you look familiar… Like my brother, Seven Sirius.
Totally Not Seven Sirius: Oh, heh… Heh… I get that all the time, actually. I’m not him, no. Not even a little bit.
(Okay fine yes it’s him. I needed a backup, just in case.)
There was a club across the street that further distracted me from the job hunt.
Peaches Honeyblossom: Frankly, I’m here for the shirtless cowboy angel.
We picked out a love drink in the hopes that Future Spouse would turn up. And then we could turn up… with them. I can’t be cool, I’m sorry.
But there were only kids in the club. Kids with matching pantaloons. And a jazz pianist.
Peaches Honeyblossom: I don’t think I want to live here anymore.
Boy: Yeah, play those ivories, daddio. You’re a cool cat droppin’ a funky beat.
Girl: This is the hippest joint for doing homework.
Idek. I googled like “jazz talk.” I’m not hip to the jive. I’m shutting up now.
So, I gave up again. This time on a full moon. Even this really terribly dressed zombie made fun of us.
Zombie: HAHA, what a loser, sleeping outside, letting me watch her.
Peaches Honeyblossom: Zzz… I will eat you… zzZ
Seriously? Another one?
Zombie 2: HAHAHA, look at her, she doesn’t have any self-respect and her morals are questionable.
The next day we finally get a job as a… what the fuck is that? Is she going to work? What is WRONG with this town?
Woman: I’m a jester in a swimsuit, brah. No big deal.
…Anyway, Peaches is now a Private Investigator, just like the old Peaches.
We reward ourselves with a bar salad.
Bartender: Don’t tell her I just picked her food from this wall behind me.
Peaches Honeyblossom: You did what? Wait, what’s that smell?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THIS WOMAN AGAIN?
Peaches Honeyblossom: *whispers* I am in danger, please call 9-1-1.
Peaches Honeyblossom: This woman is stalking me. Help. Scare her off or something.
Bartender: I don’t think I could take her, tbh.
Woman: No. You couldn’t. *growls like a wolf*
We run to the local consignment shop for safety and… omg, look at this nerd. This attractive nerd.
Attractive Nerd: She is as pretty as a tree, maybe prettier.
So, I had Peaches introduce herself, and…
We can be in good moods, yes! We can!
His name is Keith Hinton, guys! COULD THIS BE IT?
Okay, be cool, Peaches. Be COOL. *heavy breathing*
Peaches Honeyblossom: I am being cool. You’re the one breathing like a dying giraffe.
So they talked for like five sim hours. About like NOTHING. Do you know who talks about nothing? PEOPLE IN LOVE OK.
But we’re not going to jump in on anything. We’re going to take it slow, feel him out. In fact, let’s just keep an eye on him for a bit, ok?
Peaches Honeyblossom: I look like a typical houseplant, right?
Yeah, totally. I can’t even tell the difference. In fact, where did you go? Omg, you’re so hidden.
Keith: So… when are you going to come out from behind those fake bushes and go on a date with me?
And we will end the chapter here! Next time: Is Keith the one? Will we find out why the stalker is stalking? Will I realize that we just stalked Keith for three hours so we are no better? Thank you for reading! HAPPY SIMMING!