Chapter Sixty-Three: Just kidding, it gets worse

Peaches Honeyblossom: There’s a storm brewing in there.

We all saw it coming, unfortunately.

The good news is that we now have a house to speak of. I figured since Fall and Winter are coming and it likes to rain constantly, having a roof is important.

The bad news is that Peaches now only has $14 to her name, a bastard child on the way, and this town is so under populated that her Private Investigating is pretty much nonexistent.

Shall we take a tour? Why, yes, we shall.

End of tour.

This is actually the saddest situation I’ve ever had for a legacy one week in. WHERE DID I GO WRONG?

Oh, I know: SHING.

Peaches Honeyblossom: SHING, WHY? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

We are so not blaming me for not bothering to ask if that fool was single. He slapped you, though, REMEMBER? He made a special trip to the outskirts of town to your plot of land JUST to slap you. Even I couldn’t believe it.

Peaches Honeyblossom: He was the sweetest man I have ever known!

HE WASN’T THOUGH.

Life is moving on. We’re forcing it to move on :@

Peaches rolled the wish to read a pregnancy book so we’re going to SMILE and read the shit out of a pregnancy book gdi.

Peaches Honeyblossom: BAAAAAWWWWWWW

STAHP.

Nicholas Riverhawk: Hey there. Guess what? I’m a celebrity and I couldn’t help but use my celebrity knowledge to notice that you are not a happy celebrity. Nor are you a celebrity at all.

Nicholas: Is there anything I, the celebrity, can do to help you, you beautiful non-celebrity?

Peaches Honeyblossom: Well, I just…

Nicholas: Hang on, I know what to do. Celebrity Webrity Boo!

Peaches Honeyblossom: Wow, I feel much better now! What was that?

Nicholas: Oh, nothing really. Just a little celebrity magic.

He has one star and he got it from marrying his wife a day ago.

Francisca: Oh, there you are, my pretty new husband. I picked these for you on the way here. Don’t you just love them, pookins?

Nicholas: Well they’re just gorgeous, my sweetums, although they don’t compare to you at all, buttercup.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Don’t mind me, I’ll just be back here vomiting.

Peaches Honeyblossom: That is the ugliest effing woman I’ve ever seen, how does she get a husband before I do?

Francisca: Sorry, did you say something? I’m too busy looking deep into my soul mate’s chocolate brown orbs.

Peaches Honeyblossom: No, not at all! Hello! How are you doing? It’s so good to meet you :D You’re disgusting.

There’s another fairy in town? What, did Shing tell all his fairy bros about the dumb easy Creeper girl in Hidden Springs?

Peaches Honeyblossom: Wow, thanks.

Shut up, not now, he’s coming over.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Ew, I don’t want to talk to him. I’m done with fairies and their tricks. Is he following me?

He is. Just get it over with.

Fairy Boy: Hay gurl hay. If I join your legacy, I bet I’ll be an instant favorite.

Peaches Honeyblossom: *sighs* Really? You couldn’t even come up with your own line?

Fairy JERK: What? I mean, if it works, it works, right?

Peaches Honeyblossom: Nope. Leaving now.

When you’re broke and pregnant, it’s always a good idea to go to the park and see if you can grab a free hot dog. I know this from real life experience.

Not really.

Apparently there was a SimFest here, but no one was on stage. I don’t know why the town is so dead.

Peaches Honeyblossom: I think… I think I’m starting to feel much better.

There you go, brave little toaster. Keep your head up.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Wait, NEVERMIND WAAAAAAAH

Mailbox: I don’t know why you came crying to me, I don’t even know you like that.

It’s impossible for Peaches to get a full night’s sleep and now I’m remembering why I had a separate lot for ghosts before.

Peaches Honeyblossom: MOM, did you just walk through me?! Now I have to get out of bed and come out here just to make this face at you!

Peaches Honeyblossom: Grandpa, excuse me, I need to sleep here.

Pilot Inspektor: NOPE. BOSS HOGG.

Peaches Honeyblossom: I hate everything.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Since I’m not sleeping anyway, I guess I’ll let you know that you’re going to be a ghost grandmother.

Deer: Please don’t tag this on Facebook. I cannot be seen with these two.

Sage Moonblood: That’s great! I’ll come around and float through your baby sometime.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Thanks, mom. I also don’t have a real job and the baby will be here soon and I’m freaking out about things because I have $9 now and I don’t even have a crib. What should I do?

Sage Moonblood: Shoulda thought about that before you rolled around under the covers like a child in a ball pit.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Wh…at?

These people need to get jobs. For real.

Sage Moonblood: Why should I? She doesn’t have one.

Thanks for that. And omg Hermione PUT THE SALAD DOWN YOU DON’T EVEN NEED IT THAT COSTS MONEY WE DON’T HAVE MONEY YOU DON’T EVEN REALIZE.

This is

the constant state of the house at night.

The next day, despite the lack of sleep, Peaches heads to the Police Station to do some low level police work in the hopes that she’ll be able to make enough to afford a crib.

She makes $68 dollars and it’s safe to say she’s the most stressed out sim I have ever played.

Peaches Honeyblossom: I MIGHT BE WORSE THAN AMANDA BYNES.

I don’t think anyone is worse than her at this point.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Oh… this doesn’t feel very good.

Guy in Stripes: Hey, bros, I think this chick is about to poop on the street!

Guy in Stripes: Wait, she’s not pooping, she’s having a BABY!

Guy in Hat: I WOULD PREFER THE POOPING.

Guy in Hat: Please don’t let me see it, I don’t want to see it, make it stop! MAKE IT STOP.

Guy in Stripes: I don’t think you can stop it once it starts, I think there’s only one way for it to end!

Guy in Back: What is this, Physics, bro?! Ain’t nobody got time for that!

Guy in Hat: Why did this have to happen to me? I’m so young. I have lost all innocence. Wait, where are you going, lady? How are you gonna fix this?!

Other Guys: *weep*

Someone follows Peaches to the hospital. It’s Cassidy, who is now engaged to stupid Shing. It’s like she KNOWS.

And a couple of hours later, Jermajesty Creeper is born.

Jermajesty is a neurotic slob, meaning he’ll eventually become his own worst enemy. I can’t wait to see how that plays out later. His favorite color is red, probably because of Peaches’ stress levels or something.

The RL Jermajesty is the son of Jermaine Jackson.

Jermajesty is also a sparkly fairy, yes.

And we still don’t have a crib, but this swing was $60 so we went with that.

I was looking for a cheap option for making money at home and the only thing I came up with was the drawing pad, so I sold the counter to pay for it.

Am I stupid? Idek.

This is what she’s seeing.

This is what she’s drawing. We’re doomed.

But I dunno, I guess the monster could be Jermajesty and the ghosts could be Sage and Pilot?

Whatever it is, it’s only worth a dollar. Perfect. I might as well end the legacy here.

I’m slowly realizing that I might actually be the worst simmer in the world. Welcome to the 6th/7th generation of the legacy, friends.

Coming up: Will Peaches ever start making money to support her new baby? Will I realize it would’ve been a lot easier to make her get a real job all along? Will Jermajesty like the fact that he’s named Jermajesty?

11 thoughts on “Chapter Sixty-Three: Just kidding, it gets worse

  1. To be fair, the only reason it’s like this is because you had to start over. If you hadn’t needed to, it would be better <3 KUDOS TO YOU FOR SOLDIERING ON.

    Poor Peaches ;___; and also lololol Jermajesty.

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  2. JERMAJESTY? That is an actual real-life child’s name? That is so sad it’s funny.

    Poor Peaches. Maybe get her into fishing? You could build her a pond. All she’ll catch for a while is minnows (and a goldfish if you’re lucky), which sell for around five bucks. It’s really small pay, but it’s good for getting those couple simoleans that you need to get back on your feet. AND it’ll lower her stress levels. Or at least it’ll help save up for a babysitter so she can go earn some cash. (I recommend collecting, too, but you need money for a babysitter for that–hence, the fishing.) And if you can find some seeds, gardening is pretty good for that too.

    If she’s close to mastering any skills, you can get that certificate that comes in the mail. Those sell for 1000 simoleans apiece I think.
    I hope that helps! It’s just tough because you’ve started all over and Peaches has had her heart broken by a stupid fairy jerk.

    Loved the chapter!

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  3. I think you should make a plan to break Shing and Cassidy up. -3- Shing should be there for Jermajesty (which is a really strange name, but that’s what this legacy has been about. xD).

    I hope things start going well for Peaches.

    And hey, you can handle this! =D If anything, go the fire department. =3 They have basically a full house there. =DD

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  4. Wierd, my sim had no problem doing investigator in HS. I hope things pick up for Peaches and her ..ahem… fatherless spawn. ;-; Poor boy’s not going to know how to catch a ball or anything.

    Another one of my sims has max painting and her “brilliant” sketches on the drawing pad are only §35ish. -_- like foreals, with a max skill? that’s bs.

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  5. I love that there was no big thing about Pilot Inspektor or Sage Moonblood, but Jermajesty is too much for people. :P It makes me happy.

    However, I do NOT love how broken-hearted poor Peaches is. :( Stupid Shing. I wanna kick him in his stupid, fairy face. >.<

    Like

  6. Those Jacksons sure are hung up on the idea of royalty aren’t they?! Jermajesty?! Really? Poor, poor real Jermajesty … poor pixelated Jermajesty for that matter!

    Things really are looking bad for Peaches. Especially considering she used to be loaded! Also, what is up with the creepy fairies in your game?

    Like

  7. Poor Peaches, such a sucky start to adulthood, especially after growing up with pretty much everything :(

    Having said that, I like the storylines your sims are giving you, makes for a great change in gen 6 of a legacy.

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