Chapter Sixty-Four: And just when you think it’s going to get better…

Some moments are so precious that nothing else matters.

But really, though, we need to hide the furniture because the Repo Man is coming.

Eat faster! There is no time to savor it!

Peaches Honeyblossom: Getting a healthy, well balanced breakfast is important to me. You know that.

Peaches, must you do that right now?

Peaches Honeyblossom: I am not letting this filthy, broken toilet go into the Family Inventory in this condition.

Peaches Honeyblossom: There, all done. Wait, do you think he’ll try to take Jermajesty?

I guess we’ll have to take our chances. There’s no place to stash him.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Okay, shh, everyone be cool. I can hear his truck.

Bowl: HALP. I’m scared!

Repo Man: Someone didn’t pay their $12 bill. Prepare to die.

Yeah you’re really threatening with that multi-colored umbrella.

Repo Man: …You hid the furniture, didn’t you?

Yup.

Repo Man: Curses!

Repo Man: You won’t be so lucky next time.

I win The Sims. Game over, everyone.

AND there won’t be a next time, we have $12 now. Ner ner.

It’s Fall, which means we can take a greeting card photo! Because a corny part of me wants to do this on every holiday.

Peaches Honeyblossom: You made me bring a baby out in the cold rain. I look like the worst mother.

Shush, MEMORIES are more important. Besides, like, your kid sleeps in a swing. You already look horrible.

And now we can go to the Costume Party your sister is throwing! Guess what? She has a crib.

Peaches Honeyblossom: It hailed on Jermajesty’s face. I hate you.

He’ll be fine, whatever.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Look, Jermajesty, a real crib in a real nursery! You don’t get to miss out on all the things other kids have after all.

This is actually really pitiful.

Meanwhile, Tabooger leaps into the arms of Spec’s new girlfriend, Astrid? I don’t know what that means or why it’s happening.

Tabooger: How dare you kiss her in front of me. How DARE you.

It’s the cheerleader costume. No one can resist.

The party was pretty uneventful so I didn’t get any screenshots. Peaches just moped in the corner the whole time. She’s just not happy.

Jermajesty is well rested, so yay.

Peaches raised her painting skill to level 4, but the drawings are still only worth $2 each.

The next day is Jermajesty’s birthday. He is obviously thrilled. Peaches is at least interacting with him, it’s the only time she really looks like she’s enjoying life. I dunno, can Sims go into depression? Jeeze.

We sell the stove to buy a cake, a table, and some toddler things. Then Peaches invites the family over for a party because we need some kind of happiness and excitement around here.

7: Tabooger dragged me here, but I’m leaving now because nothing about this interests me.

So the party is extremely small, but oh well. Jermajesty is too young to care anyway.

Tabooger: Uh, this doesn’t look right. Shouldn’t the candle be blown out instead of blown up?

Tabooger: Peaches, I don’t think moving a couple feet away will help much, but um, I’m gonna go ahead and head out now. Good luck.

Astrid: I left my wedding reception for this?

Astrid worked out her issues between Spec and Tabooger I guess and settled down finally.

Astrid: I would not give this party a very high rating. There is more fire than guests!

Anna: But really, Peaches, what are you DOING? MOVE OUT OF THE WAY OR SOMETHING.

Anna: Peaches! The fire is getting worse, come on!

Astrid: UM, I think my ass is burning, and I don’t mean because it’s hot.

This is where I start frantically clicking everything possible, but Peaches is NOT MOVING.

Astrid: I think… um… I think I really hate this party.

Anna: Peaches, you’re stressing me out!

ME TOO, PEACHES. MOVE. YOUR BLANK STARE IS NOT HELPING.

Peaches Honeyblossom: I’m just going to stand here and accept things as they come.

NO. STOP IT.

Firefighter: HAHA, look at these fuckers, trying to have a birthday party. YOUR HOUSE IS BURNING DOWN TROLOLOL.

Astrid: Excuse me, but my dress is melting to my skin. Please help?

PEACHES FDISSDMFSDOVUHYCBASJKFNEPOFJGIOKm

You don’t even know how badly I cursed at my computer as I watched this play out.

Astrid: I DUN CARE I’M BURNING EVERYONE SHUT UP AND SAVE ME.

Firefighter: Oopsies!

WELL SHIT NOW THE FIREFIGHTER IS ON FIRE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

Potty Chair: I don’t feel anything.

SHUT UP INANIMATE OBJECT

Anna: Peaches, listen to me. You need to get away from the hot burny stuff, okay? COME ON.

ASTRID? WHERE DID YOU GO?

Firefighter: Well, fuck, there’s nothing I can do here now. BYE.

WHAT. WORST FIREFIGHTER EVER WHAT ARE YOU DOING.

And then by some MIRACLE, Peaches wakes the fuck up and gets away from the fire. THANKS FINALLY.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Yes, hi. We need all the firefighters in the country at my house now.

THANK YOU.

New Firefighter: What is that awful smell?!

OH I DON’T KNOW, THE BURNT FLESH OF A NEWLYWED MAYBE?

GUYS I’M STOPPING HERE WHAT WILL EVEN HAPPEN IDK SORRY FOR THE CURSING AND THE ALLCAPS FUCK

11 thoughts on “Chapter Sixty-Four: And just when you think it’s going to get better…

  1. Maybe I shouldn’t laugh but I am that is the worst luck, especially with Peaches just standing there wow. Also, hiding all the furniture in the family inventory is freaking ingenious.

    Like

  2. OH CRAP WHY IS THIS HAPPENING
    POOR SPEC WHO KNOWS HOW LONG IT’LL TAKE FOR HIM TO FIND ANOTHER WIFE
    I MEAN, THIS ONE ONLY LASTED THROUGH THE CEREMONY
    Freaking birthday cakes. This is one of the worst birthday cake fires ever, and Moon Unit is nowhere to be found!

    I MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

    Like

  3. OMG OMG XDDD

    I couldn’t stop laughing at the end… I’ve had the same-ish thing happen to me. 3am my time, time for a birthday party for them… fireplace catches everything on fire… burns up one of the birthday boys and kills like 4-5 sims in the process.

    You should consider yourself lucky it was just one… though a very inconvenient time xDDD

    Like

  4. Okay I’m late here, I’ve had life get in the way of my sims.
    That is a huge fire! I really hope she gets her butt outside. OMG I can’t imagine the horror!

    Like

  5. OMG, bad luck much? This is why birthday cakes are a bad idea early in the legacy, the risk of fires is bad :(

    Like

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