Chapter Sixty: Can You Teach Me How to Sim?

Peaches Honeyblossom: Um, this doesn’t look like Sunset Valley… And where is my house? And my husband? And CHILD? AND WASN’T I PREGNANT?

LOL.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Hello, oddly dressed man, um… I don’t know where I am. And it’s really hot and I distinctly remember the temperature being at a constant 75 degrees the last time I… existed? Have I died? I just don’t know what’s happening to me! Help!

Mascot: Look, chick, I’m just here to toss this bucket of university shit on your doorstep and strut off into oblivion. I’m getting a brand new house out of the deal, so whatever it is you’re going through, it’s not my problem. Later.

Peaches Honeyblossom: But…

Peaches Honeyblossom: Hey, kid, is this the library? Where am I?

Kid: Ugh, I really hate idiots like you.

Peaches Honeyblossom: No, no, I’m not an idiot. I have the Genius trait. I just really don’t know where I am and it’s hot and I–

Kid: It’s hot because there’s this thing called the Sun. It’s a large ball of heat and gas, our entire planet revolves arou–

Peaches Honeyblossom: I am 99% done with you. Goodbye.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Um, Spec, it’s me, Peaches. I think I’ve been sucked into another dimension. Or maybe this is some AU fanfic…

Spec Wildhorse: No, you weirdo. We’re in Hidden Springs now. Come over, I’ll text you my address.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Text? Since when do we text?

Spec Wildhorse: Since like 1992. Stop it.

Peaches Honeyblossom: It got dark fast. And I have a tan now?

Tabooger: Hello, sister. So sorry to hear about your lawn living.

Tabooger: It’s so good to see you again. If you need anything, we’re here for you.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Um, thank you.

7: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR AN UPDATE FOR YEARS. LITERAL YEARS.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Excuse me, what?!

7: YOU ARE THE MOST FAILED HEIRESS EVER.  I HATE YOU.

Spec Wildhorse: You spent the night? What happened to the legacy living on a big empty lot thing?

Peaches Honeyblossom: I’m not even going to comment on how unfair it is that everyone seems to know what’s going on besides me. Anyway, it’s been hailing for 12 hours, so I slept here, yeah.

Spec Wildhorse: You paying for that soup?

Mini-fridge: FML.

Rainbow: :D

So, hello! It’s been so long, I feel like it’s going to take me a couple chapters to get back into the swing of things D: But I have missed all of you and the Creepers and I hope we can finish off this legacy before The Sims 4 comes out or something.

The Creepers are now in Hidden Springs and Peaches is a Young Adult again. The only other Creepers around are the ones you’ve seen (Tabooger, 7, and Spec). Pilot, Sage, and Hermione are also around, in the GRAVEYARD LOL. But yeah, you might see their ghosts around later.

So now we’re going to move along into a section I’m calling Creeper Tips on How [NOT] to Bag a Man.

How [NOT] to Bag a Man Tip #1

Go clubbing constantly. Even at 10am. Every club you can find. Do it.

How [NOT] to Bag a Man Tip #2

Don’t be afraid to make an ass of yourself, because men dig women who do stupid shit.

How [NOT] to Bag a Man Tip #3

If you don’t have any haters, you aren’t doing it right.

Hater: omg mom u should see dis girl tryna sing lyk she christina aguilera

How [NOT] to Bag a Man Tip #4

Being a DJ worked for Paris Hilton, it’ll obviously work for you too.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Unce unce unce unce unce

How [NOT] to Bag a Man Tip #5

Don’t worry, you didn’t want him anyway.

How [NOT] to Bag a Man Tip #6

She’s not into him, she’s into you, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

How [NOT] to Bag a Man Tip #7

Minors have to grow up sometime.

How [NOT] to Bag a Man Tip #8

Lather, rinse…

Repeat.

Well, what a promising return, right? Will Peaches find a suitable bachelor to replace Vito, or is she sabotaging herself on purpose? Or is it accidental? I don’t even know. Will we finish the legacy before Christmas 2028? That is my goal. Happy simming, yo!

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20 thoughts on “Chapter Sixty: Can You Teach Me How to Sim?

    1. It issss! And wow, he really does. I love that hair on him, and I kind of maybe have a crush on him but he’s pixels, so gross haha. Thank you :D

      Like

    1. YAY, hi! I hope she does too, although I’ve played ahead today so I’m pretending not to know what’s happened XD Thank you, I’m glad to see you!

      Like

  1. BACKWARDS BURPING SOUND
    At least that’s my way of describing the choking-gasp I make when I’m excited.

    I’ve missed this legacy so much!
    Poor Peaches. xD

    Oh, and 777777777777777 O___________o
    7 is still beautiful.

    Like

  2. You’re back, I know it’s a few days since you arrived back but I am so happy you and your beautiful legacy is back. Funny chapter as always, I’m off to read the rest.

    Like

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