HERMIONE FOUND A PYGMY HEDGEHOG AT THE WEDDING. WE HAVE NAMED IT SONIC.
When I originally typed that sentence up there, it felt really boring. So then I yelled it at you and it feels better :3
I got the cool baby swing from the store, guys. Now when the babies are awake they don’t have to lie uselessly in their cribs!
Buddy Bear Maurice: Too bad I can’t ditch this cocoon though.
Right? Ugh. It’s like they’re trying to hide tentacles or something. Someone couldn’t get the babies shaped properly in development, so they threw on tentacles and hid them with a blanket.
Vito: Sounds like EA.
Also now the babies become entertaining little props of joy for everyone around them :D
Vito: Weeeeee, look at you go! I wish I was your size so I could sit in there!
Maid: Why are all the good ones always taken?
He would probably stand there playing with Buddy Bear all day if I let him.
Vito: JAZZ HANDS.
D’awwww, isn’t that cute? The only downfall to keeping babies in the swing is that it kind of keeps their need bars full. Not completely, of course, but I actually watched Buddy’s hunger go up a bit as he sat there. The main problem with that is they catch up on their sleep, so when it’s time for the adults to go to bed, they’re wide awake.
I guess just let them stay in the swing until they’re toddlers? Idk. That’s what my sister-in-law did with her baby.
Peaches Honeyblossom: Oh my gosh, the swing is magical!
Basically! But we were done talking about the swing like a whole screenshot ago, Peaches. GOSH.
Since their kid is occupied, they have a lot of free time to… explore.
Baby Gnome: There goes my innocence :(
Vito: I got you a gift. Consider it kind of a late wedding present.
Peaches Honeyblossom: Say whaaaaat? I didn’t know we had to get each other gifts.
Vito: Don’t worry about it, Peaches. I just did it because I love you so much.
Peaches Honeyblossom: You are so sweet it hurts, Vito. But… what is it? I am physically unable to open this right here in front of you.
Vito: It’s a saddle… I hope you like it.
Peaches Honeyblossom: …A saddle fits in here? In this tiny box?
Vito: Apparently. But I figured you’re going to need a saddle when your new horse gets old enough.
Peaches Honeyblossom: WHAT?
Vito: Go look outside.
Peaches Honeyblossom: Oh my gosh, I owe you so many dirty things! This is way better than that CC cactus my mom got me when I was little.
Peaches Honeyblossom: Seriously, though. Prepare for things so nasty you won’t be able to look me in the eye in the morning. Think 50 Shades of Grey… only much worse.
Vito: Oh… Is that possible?
Peaches Honeyblossom: I can’t believe it! A real horse! A little baby horse! A horse that will let me touch it maybe?!
Peaches Honeyblossom: Hi there, horsey. Let’s name you Clarice okay? I think that’s a pretty name. It would probably be a name I would choose for my own child if it weren’t for the warped minds of celebrities.
Clarice misses her mommy, according to her moodlet.
Peaches Honeyblossom: Don’t worry, Clarice. I will be your new mommy. And I’ll hug you and kiss you and love you forever!
Bonus points for you if you know who this is.
Hermione: Hello, City Hall? Yes, this is the Leader of the Free World calling. It’s 6am, I’m old, I’m still half-asleep, and I have a new grandson who I‘d like to spend time with. I retire.
Hermione: Yaaaaay me.
The fact that they stand there clapping for themselves for like two minutes afterwards is so funny.
Hermione: Thank you for your support, Vito.
Vito: I don’t know why we’re standing here clapping, but it looked like fun.
Peaches grew into an adult one night when I wasn’t paying attention.
Peaches Honeyblossom: It’s like my entire childhood all over again.
She officially became the first of my legacy sims to have a midlife crisis, meaning she wanted to change her clothes and hair and buy a new car. Those were wishes I could handle.
With Hermione retired now, Peaches is free to return to work where she’s met with the same silly cases, like finding out who threw the chewed piece of gum onto the ground or something.
Oh, Sunset Valley, where are your dangerous murderers and drug lords?
My simself would be appalled at the shenanigans Darren Criss gets up to while he’s working.
No wonder they haven’t had another baby yet. He’s into the barren ones now.
Hermione being home is great for Vito too. She can bake his favorite fooooood.
Vito: Fresh key lime pie right after I get home from work? I definitely married into the right family!
Don’t get used to it…
Crap, another birthday I’ve forgotten. There aren’t even many sims in the house! What am I doing to forget birthdays?
It’s probably Sage’s fault. I don’t have her around rolling wishes for parties anymore :(
Aaaah! He is bloooooonde. I honestly didn’t expect him to be. He also has his daddy’s green eyes and eye shape.
Buddy Bear Maurice: Is this the part where you do your toddler spam thing?
I am resisting.
Okay one. One is okay.
HE IS SO SQUISHY.
Cheshy Creeper don’t care.
Hermione coooonstantly rolls wishes to boast about Buddy Bear to anyone who walks into the house or even near it. She’s doing enough spamming for the both of us.
Hermione: And this is when he looked at me that one time.
Hermione: And this is when he picked his nose! ADORABLE!
Hermione: And this is when he was sleeping.
Repairwoman: I HAVE BEEN HERE FOR FOUR HOURS LISTENING TO YOU.
Hermione: But I haven’t shown you the one where he’s eating his foot…
Repairwoman: I AM LEAVING GOOD DAY.
She’s pretty D:
Buddy is pretty smart, although I expect him to be since he has nerds for parents.
Peaches Honeyblossom: Can you say Daisy?
Buddy Bear Maurice: Daisy! Next!
You’ll see what I did here in a minute.
Peaches’s former boyfriend Jerome passed out outside of the legacy house. Coincidence? I THINK NOT. WAKE UP STALKER.
Jerome: I wasn’t stalking, I was legitimately suffering :(
Three Gnomes of Serious Temptation: Yeah yeah, sure sure. Get out of here! And don’t let us catch you around or else we’ll find a fourth guy to hold up a NO JEROMES sign.
Hermione: Hey guys! Look who I brought home!
Tabooger: Oh my god, that dishwasher sounds like it’s murdering a group of ducklings.
Hermione: She is just as lovely as I remember.
Peaches Honeyblossom: Tabooger! I’m pregnant! Again!
Tabooger: OH! Who’s the daddy?!
Peaches Honeyblossom: Well, Vito… of course.
Tabooger: Oh, well, I’m sure it’ll be fine. Congratulations.
Tabooger isn’t even dating anyone D: Actually the others are having issues keeping relationships as well D:
Peaches Honeyblossom: I’m going to have another baby soon, Clarice, but don’t worry. I’ll still love you.
Clarice has the nervous trait so she’s pretty much scared all the time. Peaches always has to calm her down.
I kind of love this picture. Hermione’s playing video games, Cheshy is watching. Vito is teaching Buddy how to walk. All that’s missing is the death of that skill bar and Peaches in the background.
It was also the very last shot of Hermione before she died :(
Hermione: I don’t know how I feel about this.
Peaches Honeyblossom: Mom, I’m hearing some odd noises coming from in here. You okay?
Peaches Homeyblossom: Noooo, mom? Please don’t leave us.
Cheshy: It’ll be okay, Peaches.
Hermione: Didn’t even have the decency to dress properly for my death either? You are so thoughtless.
Grim Reaper: Ever think that maybe I LIKE dressing this way? Maybe it makes me FEEL GOOD about myself? WHO’S THOUGHTLESS NOW HUH?
Hermione: I didn’t know, I’m sorry.
Grim Reaper: Let’s just go. You make me sad.
Cheshy: And just like that, she was gone :(
RIP Hermione. She lived to be 107 years old, accomplished her LTW with hard work, and always made for good Harry Potter references. I will miss you, Her my one!
Now that Hermione’s gone, it’s up to the rest of the family to care about Sonic’s well being.
Peaches Honeyblossom: You’re really scratchy.
Peaches Honeyblossom: OW. Sharp teeth!
He doesn’t make it easy to love him.
Sonic: I don’t need no love, bitch.
The only people in the house are now Peaches, Vito, and Buddy Bear. The pets too, but oddly enough, they’re really quiet. After Hermione passed away, it was really boring.
Peaches Honeyblossom: You depend on us way too much for your entertainment. Go read a book or something.
Vito finished teaching Buddy Bear how to walk, which was the last toddler skill to learn. He’d also already maxed his logic, so we started on creativity.
I love this shot of Vito.
That’s the only reason this is here.
Vito: And this is how you draw boobies.
Buddy Bear Maurice: …
Vito: Oh wait, those are eyes. Whoops.
Vito: So let’s discuss baby names. I feel like Buddy Bear Maurice was a hit. Maybe we should follow the bear theme, keep it consistent. What do you think?
Peaches Honeyblossom: I think you done lost yo’ mind. These aren’t supposed to be good names, Vito.
Vito: I like bears, though.
Peaches Honeyblossom: Mmhmm, I know you do, honey.
Vito: You make me so happy. I love you.
Peaches Honeyblossom: I love you, too.
Vito: BAM. Wish complete.
Peaches Honeyblossom: That is so romantic. I’m going to go lie down, okay?
But not before breaking my heart :(
Peaches Honeyblossom: I miss my mommyyyyyy.
And now you’re going to be one again.
Peaches Honeyblossom: VITOOOOOOO.
Clarice: It’s my birthdaaaaaaay!
Peaches Honeyblossom: Sorry, I’m in labor! Gotta go!
Clarice: But look at me! Look how majestic I have become!
Peaches Honeyblossom: Great! See you later!
No one else is home (:() so babysitter it is.
Babysitter: Ooh, he’s hot. I wonder how much it’ll take to–
No. Just stop.
I don’t think I have ever seen a babysitter clean out a potty before.
Babysitter: I collect stool samples as a hobby.
Omg gross. Why did I even just write that?
I think that means it’s time to end this chapter! OOH, CLIFFHANGER. Peaches is in labor (unlike one of my friends who was supposed to have her baby five days ago and is probably tired of people raging at her for it like it’s her fault). What will she have?! I HOPE IT’S NOT A HORSE BECAUSE AWKWARD.
Thing 1: That is talent.
Thing 2: Right?! Some people have it all. We’re just stupid bears that pop up when no one wants us.
Thing 1: King Vito seems to like us though.
Thing 2: Trudat.
Dumbledore Gnome: Can you two shut up? You’re ruining my good time.
Happy simming, yo!
Credit for chapter title goes to andiewinslife. You go andiewinslife.