Chapter Fifty-Eight: But Seriously Though

Peaches Honeyblossom: Where the hell is that stupid cell phone?! It’s been threeeeee daaaaays.

Welcome back to the Creeper Legacy, where our heiress is really bad at her job despite having the perfect traits for it.

I am sad to report that we put Skulk and Spahhkles up for adoption. Why would you do such a horrible thing, you ask?

They got teenage mutant ninja fleas and wouldn’t let anyone give them a flea bath.

Fleas: Cowabunga!

Cheshy: You gotta get your relationship higher with them so they can get you clean again! It’s the only way. I’m about to have my bath now.

Spahhhkles: I knooooow, but I really just don’t like them very much :(

Spahhhkles: Please let me stay. I’ll take my bath like a good cat now, I promise!

I felt really awful when the Fall Out Boy reject came to pick them up. I wanted to cancel the whole thing. But then they left and I got over it. I’m sorry XD They’re still in town at least.

Vito, I’ve discovered, is adorable.

Vito: I make hot dogs.

He makes hot dogs! (I don’t like hot dogs.) And also he is a big nerd and basically I will always have a soft spot for nerds. Does that mean it’s stats time? Oh yes it is.

Vito Childers is a Disciplined Perfectionist and a Loner. He enjoys fishing because he’s got a knack for Angling, but his true passion lies in Computers. One might say he is a Whiz at them.

Vito: Clever.

Right? I’m so good this. He enjoys country music, a good old fashioned slice of key lime pie (I’m saying this in my Paula Deen voice btw), and the color spice brown. His dream in life is to be a CEO of a Mega-Corporation and he is currently at level 5, Department Head.

Unfortunately, Vito is going to be an Elder in 12 days. We can deal with that.

Reasons why Peaches and Vito are perfect for one another ready go.

1) He is a Perfectionist, she is Neurotic. In my experience, those often go hand-in-hand.
2) He is an Angler, she Loves the Outdoors. Also two very lovely traits together.
3) He is a Computer Whiz, she is a Genius. Yeah? YEAH? There is a pattern here. 
4) He likes country music, her whole house is country-esque and she wears cowboy boots.
5) He likes key lime pie, she likes the color lime!
6) Peachito sounds like an alcoholic beverage and to that I say YES. And so would Sage if she were here.

Vito: I burned the hot dogs.

He burned the hot dogs! That’s okay. No one will notice.

Vito: You know what’s scary? Podiums. Because what’s always gathered around podiums? Huge crowds of highly irritated people.

Peaches Honeyblossom: This hot dog kind of tastes like a podium. Odd.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Thank you for cooking, Vito.

Vito: Well yeah, why wouldn’t I? If we don’t eat we’ll die.

Vito: Besides, I would do anything for you, baby. Even stand at a podium and declare my love for you to the angry mob that terrifies me so.

Peaches Honeyblossom: You are the most wonderful man I have ever moved into the house. And ever.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Will you marry me, Vito?

Vito: YES YES PUT IT ON PUT IT ON PUT IT ON.

I couldn’t get a good angle so I opted for the “artistic” through-the-window shot.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Also, I’m pregnant.

Vito: What? Really? And I did it?!

Peaches Honeyblossom: You did it!

Vito: I AM ZEUS.

And that’s not the only new addition to the family.

Daddy Gnome: I could just watch him gnaw his foot all day.

HE IS SO CUTE I AM SO HAPPY FOR THIS DAY.

Peaches needs to max three skills for her LTW and photography is one of them since she has the trait for it.  She’s getting really good so you’ll probably see them around the house a bit. I used BuyDebug to purchase a camera because traveling sucks and I’m wondering why I haven’t had a photographer before (because I fail at this game basically)! I could have walls and walls of memories by now D:

On the left is Sage mixing her very last drink. We didn’t know it would be her last when it was taken :( And on the right is Hermione on the day she got her promotion.

I heard the burglar music but I couldn’t find the burglar anywhere. This is where I found her.

Burglar: OH MY GOD, THERE’S AN ELDERLY CAT IN THERE. I AM REALIZING I HAVE MADE TERRIBLE DECISIONS IN MY LIFE.

Biggest waste of time ever.

The good thing about professions is that technically Peaches is still able to work while she’s pregnant. I decide to give her some time off anyway, but she doesn’t seem to know what to do with herself.

Peaches Honeyblossom: I’ll just clean these two plates and then I’ll… I’ll… um…

Peaches Honeyblossom: Come here, Cheshy. Come on! Come hang out with me!

Cheshy: …This a trick? You’ve never touched me. Ever.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Come on, it’s okay!

Cheshy: If you say so.

Peaches Honeyblossom: See, that wasn’t so difficult, was it?

Cheshy: The baby bump makes a good cushion.

Peaches Honeyblossom: I love you, Cheshy. Who’s a pretty cat? You are!

Cheshy: I have died. This is heaven.

Hermione: You’re getting big! It goes by quickly doesn’t it?

Peaches Honeyblossom: Yeah… it really does.

Hermione: Is there something wrong?

Peaches Honeyblossom: …I’m going to be an awful mother.

Hermione: What? What makes you think that?

Peaches Honeyblossom: Mom, I wash my hands seventeen times a day at the very least. Things come out of babies that I’m going to be responsible for cleaning up! I’m going to find my baby disgusting.

Hermione: I see your point.

Peaches Honeyblossom: So I’m right then.

Hermione: No, you’re completely wrong! Yes, you have issues with germs and… well, you have a lot of issues in general, but you know what? The love you have for your child is going to be more powerful than anything you can imagine. You won’t even notice the messes.

Peaches Honeyblossom: I hope so.

Hermione: And that man of yours is a good man, Peaches. I can tell. You two are going to make amazing parents.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Thanks, mom.

Hermione: You’re welcome. Now hurry up and get out of here. This caption is way too long already.

Vito: Hey, how are you feeling?

Peaches Honeyblossom: Like an inflating balloon of emotions.

Vito: Well you’ve gotten a lot bigger since I left for work this morning, but trust me, you’ve never been more beautiful.

Vito: I can’t wait to meet our baby.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Neither can I.

Vito: We should discuss names.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Well, the selection is quite limited… We’ll talk about it later.

Hermione: You think I’m going to let you marry my daughter without first testing your skill at Diablo III?

Vito: Of course not. I’ve been waiting for this day.

Vito: I haven’t thanked you yet for letting me move in.

Hermione: It wasn’t my choice.

Vito: I know, but you’ve been very welcoming to me and I–

Hermione: Also not my choice. Pay attention to the game!

Vito: Oh, hey babe.

Peaches Honeyblossom: My mom’s in serious gaming mode isn’t she?

Vito: Yep. I had to stop playing for fear that she’d make me cry.

Hermione: Wuss.

Peaches Honeyblossom: I’m reading my pregnancy book. You should read yours too, Vito. I’m pretty sure we only have until tonight to learn everything there is to know about babies.

Hermione: You guys are slow. I read both of those books in a quarter of the time it’s taking you.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Mom, you should quit the game. You’re getting too competitive.

Hermione: Oh fine.

Hermione: Oh hey, guys! Not much longer, is it? I can’t wait to be a grandmother. I should bake something. That’s what grandmother’s do.

Vito: She’s like a different person.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Yep. Welcome to my life.

Peaches Honeyblossom: I’m ready for this to happen. Let’s move things along shall we?

Peaches Honeyblossom: FOOTBALL TIME.

I didn’t realize it, but Peaches has gotten really good at playing catch. I remember that as she was growing up she would always ask people to play, but I thought I always cancelled that and made her do her homework or something because I’m evil. I guess I was wrong.

Vito: Are you sure this is safe? What if the ball hits you or something?

Peaches Honeyblossom: Oh, I don’t think we’ll have a problem with that.

Hermione: Okay, get ready! Weeeeee!

Peaches Honeyblossom: I’ll show you how to REALLY throw a football.

Hermione: OW! Peaches, that hurt a lot!

Peaches Honeyblossom: Name of the game, mom. Sorry.

Hermione: The name of the game is CATCH, not ANNIHILATE!

Peaches Honeyblossom: Okay, are you ready for this one? Plant your feet, keep you eye on the ball. You’ll be okay.

Hermione: Oh, Sage, I’ll see you soon…

Hermione: Okay… *gulp* ready…

Hermione: Ugh, your body does not get used to that feeling.

Vito: Okay, hun, let’s give your mom a break and go play in the front yard for a while.

Peaches Honeyblossom: COMING AT YA! HUUUUAH!

She is truly frightening.

Vito: *catches like a bawss*

Vito: You can’t handle this.

Peaches Honeyblossom: You are so sexy to me right now. Let’s go inside and see if we can make a twin.

Vito: OKAY *runs inside*

Peaches Honeyblossom: Ooh, I feel woozy suddenly…

Peaches Honeyblossom: Hmm, what is that… sensation…?

Peaches Honeyblossom: OH THAT IS NOT NICE. VITO!

Peaches Honeyblossom: Well hello, pregnant Bebe Hart.

Bebe: It’s Bebe BUNCH now, thanks. First to have their baby wins a big huge stack of cash.

Peaches Honeyblossom: My baby’s already half way out, LOSER.

Bebe: Whatever. TANGERINES.

Omg look it’s a boy.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Yep, I did good.

You did!

Please welcome Buddy Bear Maurice Creeper to the family. He is a neurotic light sleeper. Great. He enjoys pop music, HOT DOGS, and ORANGE. Who else finds that funny?

The RL Buddy Bear Maurice is the son of Chef Jamie Oliver and his wife Jools. Now I don’t know if you’ve heard of Jamie Oliver’s other kids, but just know that thanks to him and a few others I have SO MANY stupid names in my arsenal. The best part of Buddy Bear’s name is Maurice. They added Maurice to honor Jools’ late father. I just can’t imagine how someone can be like, “I want to honor my father, Maurice, but the name Buddy Bear is SO important! Maybe even MORE important. Therefore, I will stick Maurice at the end of this and it will be amazing.”

People.

Hermione: Hello, little Buddy Bear. I’m your grandmother. I was afraid I wasn’t going to get the chance to meet you. I decorated your nursery for you. I hope you like it.

AAAAWWWAWWWWW

The next day, Vito approaches Hermione with the biggest and most unnecessary question he’s ever asked.

Vito: I know Peaches has already proposed to me, but I didn’t get the chance to personally ask you for her hand in marriage. I can’t wait any longer, Mrs. Creeper. I love her too much. I’d like to marry your daughter. And I’d like to do it today.

Hermione: …

Vito: Please don’t say no. I will respect your wishes if you tell me I’m not worthy, because I don’t think I’m worthy myself. I know I couldn’t handle Diablo III and I’m not perfect by far even though I strive to be. If you say no, I will bow out. But I don’t know what I’d do if I couldn’t be with her and my son for the rest of our lives.

Hermione: …

Vito: D:

Hermione: Are you kidding me?! What are you even going on about? Of course you’re going to marry her today.

Vito: Really?

Hermione: Well, YEAH. You two have a baby together, she’s already proposed, I’ve already set everything up for the wedding at 3. There is no doubt in my mind that you and my daughter belong together. You’re such a weirdo.

Vito: Oh, thank you, Mrs. Creeper! Thank you!

Vito: Well, Buddy Bear. Let’s go marry your mother.

Peaches Honeyblossom: What are you staring at me for? Do I have something on my face?

Vito: I just can’t believe a woman like you is standing here with a man like me. Are you sure you want to do this?

Peaches Honeyblossom: You know, now that I think about it, I’m really having my doubts…

Vito: I don’t blame you. I should go.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Hey.

Vito: What?

Peaches Honeyblossom: Shut up and marry me.

Vito: Okay.

Lord Voldemort: I just have something in my eye. Don’t look at me.

Lord Voldemort: How dare you make me feel these emotions called happiness and joy! YOU WILL PAY!

Half of these people weren’t even paying attention during the ceremony, but when it’s time to cut the cake, oooooh, everyone’s suddenly giving their undivided attention.

Everyone except Vito that is.

Vito: We’re marrieddddddurrrrr…

Vito: This cake is delicious! You should have some!

Peaches Honeyblossom: I ate mine in about two bites. I was starving!

Vito: Haha, wouldn’t it be funny if you were pregnant again?

Peaches Honeyblossom: …

Vito: …Wait you–

Peaches Honeyblossom: I’m not.

Vito: Oh okay. MMM CAKE GOOD.

And of course in keeping with the tradition of every party ever, someone had to die right at the end, making it go from epic to modest. Who is that guy anyway?

Hermione: I think I know him *gets mourning moodlet for two days*

-_-

With Buddy Bear sleeping soundly, it’s time to start the honeymoon.

One more wedding night shot because I think Peaches looks gorgeous :3

And that is the end of this chapter! It was a little more serious than usual, so I’m sorry if that makes you feel awkward. I’m just lacking energy and fun because I’ve been sick since the 7th :( Sad panda.

Anyway, I hope you still enjoyed it! Until next time, happy simming!

The gnomes are always in a group, looking like they’re plotting something. It makes me uncomfortable.

12 thoughts on “Chapter Fifty-Eight: But Seriously Though

  1. I loved it! No awkwardness! But I was sad to see Spahhhkles go. EA really needs to fix that. In case this happens again, (because it happened to me) you type testingcheatsenabled true in the cheat bar, and then you can delete the flea moodlet by ctrl-clicking them. It makes the fleas go away. :)

    Hahaha, Buddy Bear Maurice? When I hear that name I picture an old wise brown care bear.

    Peaches looked soo gorgeous in her wedding dress. And for the first time, I wanted to hug Voldemort. That part made me laugh so much!

    Like

    1. Aah, thank you for that! I wish I’d thought to do it. Ugh :(

      Haha that sounds about right!

      She diiiiid, I loved her in it. Thank you! Voldie’s going soft.

      Like

  2. I think Buddy Bear is the most ridiculous name so far and I LOVE it! Peaches is stunning – such a good choice for heir. I can’t wait to see what her children look like!

    – Jill
    Vote for the Wallace Gen 5 Heir

    Like

  3. I thought the seriousness was totally fine! Vito and Peaches are just SOOO cute together and it was great to just take a chapter to enjoy the perfection that is their relationship : )

    And omg, my gnomes in my Different Winters legacy house are also always gathered together. They’ll just chillax on the lawn….chatting….plotting…..oh god why? D=

    But yeah, love!!! .<

    Like

  4. I always knew that Voldy had a sensitive side really … bless him :)

    Bye kitties and hello baby! I love Vito and want to cwtch* him :) :) :)

    *us Welshy people say that as opposed to hug/cuddle ;)

    Like

  5. I LOVE PEACHES AND PEACHITO, this calls for caps! Also *pops out of thin air* I’ve apparently lacked commenting on your posts. Rest assured though, I love the Creepers and give you major cuddles :3

    Happy simming! (Buddy Bear? Oh god, I already feel for the other kids)

    Like

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