Chapter Fifty-Seven: Peachito

Peaches Honeyblossom: So let me get this straight. You dropped your cell phone on the beach and forgot to pick it up again?

Calli: That’s right, yeah.

Peaches Honeyblossom: No one stole it, or…?

Calli: Nope. Just dropped it.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Ugh, these assignments. Be back soon.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Here, cell phone, cell phone, cell phone!

Peaches Honeyblossom: Now if I were a cell phone, where would I be? Hang on… horsey senses tingling. There are horses nearby!

Peaches Honeyblossom: Jackpot! Look how beautiful they are. HI NEW BEST FRIENDS!

White Horse: Psst, Brownie, isn’t that…?

Brownie: Yeah it’s Peaches Honeyblossom. EVERY MAN FOR HIMSEEEEEELF!

Peaches Honeyblossom: Hey, come back…

Peaches Honeyblossom: YAY, at least I have two new best friends!

White Horse: Nope.

Grey Horse: Nuh uh, no way. Let’s get out of here.

Later that day.

Peaches Honeyblossom: You like me, don’t you, Vito?

Vito: When you’re not stalking me in park bathrooms, yes, Peaches, I really do.

Peaches Honeyblossom: You smell pretty despite just coming out of an unventilated park restroom on a hot summer day.

Vito: Thank you. Would you like to go out tonight?

Peaches Honeyblossom: Yes. Why do you think I’ve spent the day following you around?

So they went karaoking of course.

Peaches Honeyblossom: I brought my own mic, You never know what sort of deadly bacteria thrive on the mouthpieces of public karaoke machines.

She’s got a point.

Vito: Don’t tell my heart, my achy breaky heart. I just don’t think he’d understand.

Peaches Honeyblossom: How did he know Billy Ray Cyrus’s music makes me easy?

Out of all the things… o_O

Vito: And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart. He might blow up and kill this man!

Peaches Honeyblossom: Ooooooooooh wooooo!

Peaches Honeyblossom: Oh my gosh, Vito, forget taking it slow. Let’s just do this.

Nancy: Hmm, not sure if turned on… or disturbed.

Nancy: Turned on, for sure.

Gross, woman.

Peaches Honeyblossom: I have been waiting for something like this to happen for a very long time.

What? The photo booth? I know, right. I’m so glad they brought it to TS3.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Yes, novelty pictures are what I’m talking about.

Nothing says perfect first date quite like a woohoo in a public place. It takes me back to my years spent playing Nightlife.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Thank you for your hospitality, photo booth.

Photo Booth: Printing photo now…

Peaches Honeyblossom: Hmm, I don’t remember the camera flashing, but I suppose I was a little preoccupied…

Peaches Honeyblossom: Uh…

Peaches Honeyblossom: WHAT?!

What?! I don’t see anything!

Peaches Honeyblossom: Oh no, you can’t see it! No one. Can ever. See this. EVER.

But it’s the first ever photo booth picture! It’s a milestone for the legacy!

Peaches Honeyblossom: NO! *rip, rip, rip* There will be other milestones!

Man on photo booth: Was that really necessary? Come aaaahn, we’re just havin’ a good time here!

Seriously, Peaches. GOSH.

The next day, Vito stops by after he’s finished with work.

Vito: I have a good feeling about this relationship :)

Cheshy: As long as you feed us, you’re cool with me, man.

Well now that we have Cheshy’s approval, we’re golden.

Hermione: Don’t mind me. Just standing back here cooking dinner for the two of you despite my achy bones and important need to be skilling for work so I can achieve my LTW and die happily.

They’re not listening, ‘Mione.

Hermione: Figures.

Vito: It frightens me how much I care for you already.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Same here, but then again falling in love and making babies is my one true purpose at the moment so I’m sure the ticking clock has a lot to do with it.

Vito: Let’s just go back to kissing, shall we?

Hermione: Ugh, all the groping is throwing off my cooking. Would you two take a break back there?!

So they took it to the garage, where the smells of grease stains and laundry detergent whisked them away to paradise.

And when they thought Hermione had gone to bed, they moved to the kitchen. They were disappointed to find out that there’s not an option to woohoo on the counters.

Okay, maybe that was me.

Hermione: When I’m Leader of the Free World, I will grant equal rights to all flags.

Oh Hermione and her useless causes.

Later that night.

Vito: So get this. I’m in love with you.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Yeah?! Oh thank goodness you said it because I’m in love with you too!

Vito: Awesome!

Peaches Honeyblossom: Yeah! Move in with me!

Vito: Well okay then! Consider it done!

Peaches Honeyblossom: Oh Vito, I’m so happy!

Vito: Me too… Uh, but… I know my tight shirt makes me look pretty buff, but I’m actually basically frail and I can feel my bones being crushed.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Oh, sorry.

Vito: Easy mistake.

Peaches Honeyblossom: So what do you want to do now, roomie?

Well I know what I wanna do.

Makeover time! And poof, you have hair and dinosaur boxer briefs.

Vito: Wow, cool! Thanks! I like it here already!

So now that that’s somewhat underway, I’d like to focus on Hermione for a bit. As  you can see by this helpful screenshot of wisdom and status that I have conjured for you, she is literally THISCLOSE to getting her final promotion.

The only problem is, she has almost two days off and she’s like really, really old and I’m terrified that she’s going to die before she can get it which would suck so bad and I would cry probably but most likely not because it’s just a game although I do get very attached to my sims and no one should judge me for it.

*breathes*

So I decided to have Hermione spend these days doing happy things in the hopes that death will decide not to come for her yet.

Did you know that petting a cat is relaxing and can add 5 years to your life? I heard it when I was 12 so I’m sure it’s scientific fact. So let’s do that then.

Spahhkles: Ooh! Me next, me next!

Also dancing. Dancing is good for you both mentally and physically, and sometimes even financially if you have a pole and some really high heels.

Hermione: Not helping.

Um, but obviously that’s for another time. The point is, Hermione spent her entire time off dancing and petting cats. Maybe I should’ve let her eat and sleep…

The next day, she goes to work, and…

Hermione: …

AND?

Hermione: …

DID YOU GET PROMOTED OR NOT?!

Hermione: Yes. I’ve finally done it.

YAY. WE ACCOMPLISHED A THING IN THIS LEGACY! LOOK AT US GO!

Hermione: *quietly rolls wish to retire*

FUCK YOU. YOU WILL WORK UNTIL YOU DIE I WORKED HARD FOR THIS.

As for the former Leader of the Free World…

LotFW: Have fun, sucka! I’m going to my new job.

I don’t even want to ask.

LotFW: Then don’t. You can’t handle it anyway.

As a reward for her hard work, Hermione gets a pizza party! Because back in the day, pizza parties were the GREATEST DAY OF ALL TIME. I think they still are. I dunno, I’m able to afford pizza whenever now so the joy is gone.

Getting old sucks ;_;

Hermione: Unless you’re me.

True.

And so now is the part where I end this because I’m not feeling well (I‘m getting over strep throat) and I haven’t played past this part. What will happen next?! No one knows. Not even me!

Hermione: All I know is these two horndogs better pop out a grandkid fast. As Leader of the Free World, I demand it.

Peaches Honeyblossom: Consider it done.

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15 thoughts on “Chapter Fifty-Seven: Peachito

  1. eee Peaches got a man! So quickly too :P Some legacies it seems they take forever! AND yay for Hermione!!!! Shame she wasn’t…more excited..I mean she could have gotten a dance from the past LoTFW..rofl XD

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  2. YAY HERMIONE :D

    Aww, I just love Peaches Honeyblossom. I dunno why, but she’s adorable and hilarious to me. :)

    Anyway, I’m typing fairly cliche-y right now so I’ll stop before I bore you to a slow and painful death or your eyeballs fall out.

    See you next chapter. :)

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  3. Pizza parties ARE the best things ever. Well, they were…until I had to go vegan. Getting allergies sucks.

    Yay for Hermione’s promotion!! Getting to the top of careers really sucks. Especially when there’re a bunch of skills involved.

    Strep throat is BALLS! It hurts so bad. I’m so sorry. Funny thing is, I’m just getting over bronchitis. Roller coasters in 68 degree weather isn’t a good idea.

    Omg, the photo booth picture thing is HILARIOUS! I love how they rip up the picture! That’s so funny! It’s also kinda annoying. You’d only see a big censor grid, but that’s porn in the sims world I suppose.

    If petting cats seriously did that, I would be immortal. Well not anymore. My kitty disappeared. ;_;

    Peachito babies! Waaaaant! Omg this is the seventh generation. It’s going so fast! *Sniffle*

    Hmm, I wonder if my comment is long enough. Great update!

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    1. Aw, sorry to hear that D: What are your options for vegan pizza? I love hearing about alternatives.

      Ugh, it does. I think I’ve only ever gotten to the top of careers MAYBE three times.

      Yeah I’ve had it since about Thursday and I’m only just now getting to feel a little better :( It’s miserable. Oh man, not cool! Bundle up next time :P

      I love how they rip them too haha. I was wondering if some sims with certain traits would rip them up. Like a flirty, commitment issued sim would be all over hanging that up in their dining room or something wouldn’t they?

      Aw, no :( I’m sorry. And yeah, can you imagine how old all the cat ladies of the world would be?

      It’s crazy to think it’s closer to being over than not XD I’d forgotten how many generations I’d been through the other day so I counted and had to re-count because it felt like that couldn’t possibly be right.

      Your comment is perfect as usual :D Thank you so much! You are awesome.

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      1. We have several recipes in my special vegan cookbook! My favorite is one where you use this flour that’s so organic it could be the holy crack for hippies to make the dough, then you bake it forever and spread it with homemade tomato sauce, and then you top it with cooked vegetables. Or there actually is vegan cheese, but most of it tastes like paper and it sticks to the roof of your mouth.

        That would be crazy! Most of the cat ladies I’ve met smell like they roll in garlic patches filled with skunks and then make soap out of their cats’ fecal matter…. That was unnecessarily descriptive. *Shudder*

        Aww. Thank you! <3

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      2. My hubs and i recently went vegan. We love pizza with nutritional yeast on it. And corn, corn is really yummy on it. Mmmm… I think I want pizza…

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      3. Awesome! I’ve been at it for almost two years and once you know your options, it’s hard to get bored with it.

        I LOVE corn on veggie pizza. It sounds so weird, but it’s really good. I had pizza today!

        Good luck!

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    1. Thank you :) Yeah unfortunately I can’t churn them out like others might be able to. Those people have super powers, obviously XD

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  4. photo booths were the best thing ever in ts2, i can’t wait to fill up my sims 3 simmies’ homes with wacky and/or normal 4-panel photos.. once i get showtime, that is.

    also feel better soon!

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  5. I agree: woohoo on counters SHOULD be an option ;)

    I loved loved LOVED Peaches reaction to the photobooth pictures! :D I might just have to get Showtime

    Congratz Hermione!

    I’ve warmed up to Peaches. I voted for her brother, but I love Peaches now. I’m glad she’s heir! :)

    Like

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