Tabooger: The story I’m about to tell you is absolutely true. It’s going to be the most terrifying, horrific thing you could ever imagine and I’m going to tell it to you in the scariest voice I can muster. Also, I must tell you that I am a coward by nature and therefore may pee my pants from the true terror I am about to describe.
Tabooger: Are you listening? You better be.
Tabooger: Once, in a town not far from here, there was… a WOMAN. A gorgeous woman whose beauty was only surpassed by her incredible wit and charm.
Taooger: Okay, that’s obviously not that scary, but bear with me. This woman is just so attractive, I bet my moms would let her move in and shower her with lovin’. Anyway.
Tabooger: This amazingly pretty woman woke up one beautiful (but not as beautiful as her) summer morning. The birds were chirping, her kids (oh, she has kids too) were behaving… It was a day like any other day, only there was ONE slight difference. The difference was…
Tabooger: HER INTERNET WAS GONE. *twitch*
Tabooger: Internet is important, see, and without it, I guess the world is really sad and lonely for some people. I dunno, we automatically have internet on our computers, so we never have this problem. But okay, so…
Tabooger: Her internet was gone! Had it been stolen? Had it run away? Nooooobody knew, but she could instantly start to feel the panic rushing through her veins like white water rafters on a Friday or something. She was suddenly wanting to update her Facebook status to "My internet is gone! Help!" She wanted to see if Darren Criss was Tweeting, she was itching see what was going on with Pottermore, and now she was getting a nagging urge to Google why yawning is contagious, what causes hiccups, pumpkin carving, and what else this actress in the movie she was watching has played in because she looks familiar and she couldn’t figure out where she’d seen her. She couldn’t update her Sims 3 legacy and she couldn’t read the ones written by others. IT. WAS. AWFUL.
Tabooger: Awful indeed, but the worst part about this story… This woman, after months of being deprived from the wonders of the world wide web, shut off from the universe…
Tabooger: IS BAAAAAAACK!!
Tabooger: Thank you. And now I must go change my pants.
Thank you, Tabooger, and yes, I am back. MUAHAHAHA!
I am SO READY to update NOW, but I have a lot to catch up on before I can. Here’s what I have to do before the next update:
1) Go through My Sims 3 Blog to see what goodies I missed while I was forced into the prison of real life.
2) Update my hax0rz.
3) Tweet at Darren Criss.
4) Pottermore? Pottermore!
E) Make sure the Creeper save file hasn’t broken from not being used (I actually used it a few times, so I’m not worried).
6) Play and play and play and take screenshots.
7) Write the update.
And then after that:
?) Catch up on all the other, more superior legacies.
Notice eating isn’t even on there. That is not an accident.
I LOVE YOU GUYS SEE YOU VERY SOON!
ETA: You can follow my progress on Twitter if there’s nothing good on TV. Not even good reruns.