Burglar: You know, I don’t think I’m even going to bother going in this house. I’ve got a bad feeling about it.
Because there are about four sims with the hidden Can Apprehend Burglar trait inside?
Burglar: Most likely, yeah.
Audio Science: I knew you were out here, scumbag! Now where’d you go? Put ‘em up!
Pilot Inspektor: DID SOMEONE SAY PILOT INSPEKTOR?
Burglar: Pfft, piece of cake. Who’s next?
Pilot Inspektor: Tag me, tag me, bro!
Audio Science: Sure thing… Just let me… get my heart out of my throat.
Pilot Inspektor: TACKLETACKLETACKLE!
Dolphin: Finally, some action! I thought I was a goner when his arms deflated like old tires.
Burglar: I love you, mommy. Goodbye…
Pilot Inspektor: That was a piece… of CHEESECAKE. With raspberries! And burglar brains!
Burglar: Agh, is it possible to break your actual butt cheek?
Pilot Inspektor: Mess with us again and we’ll go all Boondock Saints on your ass, yo.
Burglar: *autonomously Compliments Home*
Audio Science: Um, I don’t even know…
Pilot Inspektor: …
Dolphin: I like this guy.
Pilot Inspektor: Yes, that’s right. Run, Simba. Run away and never return.
Pilot Inspektor: All that burglar bashing made me HOWNGRY.
Marlene: Pilot Inspektor strikes again. All these dishes smell like SALIVA.
Andie: Try being his wife.
Marlene: Ugh, I don’t even want to know.
Marlene’s been, there’s no other word, A FRIGGIN’ BITCH lately. She’s been fighting with EVERYONE.
Marlene: What are you doing outside, Everly Bear Creeper?!
Everly Bear: I was taking out the trash, mom.
Marlene: I DID NOT SAY YOU COULD DO THAT, GET BACK INSIDE!
The still-glitched chisel makes her look even more dangerous.
Everly Bear: What is your deal?! I’M supposed to be the ridiculously moody one here! You’re ruining my teenage years! I’m not gonna be your friend anymore if you keep this up!
I’m surprised she’s the only one who’s rolled this one so far, because honestly if I was her friend, I would want to stop too. How does Audio feel about all of this?
Audio Science: Tenisha, we’ve been working together for a long time and I have to say, I thoroughly enjoy every second of it. You’re a wonderful co-worker, and once I kick the bucket, I’m pretty sure you’ll be next in line for my job.
I guess he hasn’t really noticed, being busy working and rolling wishes to hang out with co-workers and all.
Tenisha: Thank you, Audio Science. You know, every time I put a band-aid on a patient…
Tenisha: I think of it as putting a band-aid on myself. You know?
You might remember Tenisha as last chapter’s “Lady in Marlene’s Dress.” She’s got the Stupid trait LOL.
Audio Science: Haha, I do know, I get it, yeah. I feel the same way when I give shots. Only I’m glad it’s not me because I’m frightened of needles.
Tenisha: You’re my inspiration, you know, Dr. Creeper. I love the way you work.
Audio Science: Do you really? That is quite a compliment. My hard work isn’t appreciated much at home.
Probably because you’re NEVER THERE.
Tenisha: That really is a shame. You can come here and be appreciated any time you want, Doctor…
Audio is so busy doing his own thing, he forgets it’s his wife’s birthday back at home.
Marlene: Oh, I hope and pray this chisel goes away once I get old.
Sage Moonblood: How dare you take the screenshot before I’ve developed my thought. My father will hear about this!
Marlene: Oh, dear, it’s still there… Well, time to threaten more people, I suppose.
Pilot Inspektor: I see you’re about to win, so game over. *clears the board*
Marlene: That’s the third time you’ve done that.
Pilot Inspektor: I can’t let you win, it would destroy my toothbrush. DUH.
Marlene: Where do you suppose my husband is? He never comes home, it’s like he doesn’t love me anymore.
Pilot Inspektor: I dunno. Who’s your husband?
Marlene: …Your brother?
Pilot Inspektor: My brother can’t be your husband. He’s my brother!
Marlene: Nevermind, let’s just play, shall we?
Pilot Inspektor: Okay, but you CAN’T. WIN. Got it?
Audio Science: Please tell me you wrote the time of death on Mr. Goth’s report.
Marlene Tenisha: Of course I did. Did you seriously just spend part of your day off worrying about work?
Audio Science: It’s what I do. Workaholic trait and all.
Tenisha: And that, Dr. Creeper, is why I find you so… incredibly… sexy.
Audio Science: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…
Audio Science: Whoa, you suddenly look upset! What did I do?
Tenisha: Nothing… it’s just… I’ve had a bad day and I keep flirting with you and you’re married. I know it’s wrong, I just can’t help myself.
Audio Science: Dude, chill. I got this. Let me take you to dinner and we’ll talk things out. And I won’t take no for an answer, I’m already in my formal wear, see?
Tenisha: Sure <3
Sage Moonblood: I’m growing up in the next screenshot.
Moxie CrimeFighter: Awesome. I’ll catch it on YouTube later.
Sage Moonblood: Awesome, I can seriously party now.
Okay, so I cheated a bit on this one. At first, Sage rolled the Stupid trait (that’s what I get for making fun of Tenisha). I didn’t want her to have that trait because my Creepers CAN’T be stupid. Well, maybe Dweezil, but not Sagey. Plus, it’s not a “real” trait, so I figured it didn’t count :P I re-rolled (ONE TIME, I PROMISE) and got Star Quality.
Sage Moonblood: You’re watching AVPM again because of me aren’t you?
Sage Moonblood: Liar! I know you are!
No, I’m watching AVPS so THERE.
Tenisha: Thank you for dinner, Audio Science. It was amazing. And you saving that man from choking and delivering that baby in the kitchen was pretty much the highlight of my life.
Damn those rabbit holes! I miss everything!
Audio Science: D’aww, it was nothing’.
Moon Unit: PAH, my son cheating on his wife? About time my kids started screwing up.
Yeah, look at their mother.
Moon Unit: I’m still alive though, so HA.
Some of you asked about Moon Unit, so I’ll go ahead and let everyone know: Yep, she’s fixed and still alive. I fixed her during the move by creating a new Moon Unit. I could’ve let her die and all that, but I liked the idea of her being immortal and just hanging around town for the rest of the legacy. She did kill all those people after all. I couldn’t let her do it for nothing.
YOU’LL NEVER FIND HER HORCRUXES.
Tenisha: A friendly hug?
Audio Science: I hope you feel better now.
Tenisha: I do. Much better. Thank you…
Audio Science: Maybe we should go somewhere where I won’t run into family members. They’ll get the wrong idea.
The wrong idea about you being all over another woman? No, no one could take THAT the wrong way >>
Tenisha: This pond in the middle of nowhere seem okay to you?
Audio Science: It’s perfect.
Tenisha: You’re perfect.
Tenisha: I’m sorry, I just can’t resist any longer.
Audio Science: I understand completely.
Audio Science: Thank you for appreciating me.
Tenisha: Why don’t you come by my house tomorrow and I’ll show you how I really feel.
Audio Science: I’ll see what I can do.
The next day. OF DOOM.
Audio Science: I know it’s normally my day off, Marlene, but I’ve offered to go in to help out. There’s a widespread… mad cowplant disease outbreak and I have to protect Sunset Valley.
Marlene: Working again? Honey, don’t you think you could spend one day with me and the kids? We never see you and you missed my birthday…
Audio Science: Look, I know you’re upset, but this is my job. This is what I signed up for. I save lives, I bring home more than enough money to support all of us. Why can’t you just appreciate that?
Marlene: Appre… You want me to APPRECIATE that? The fact that your kids barely know who you are because they’ve only caught glimpses?! OH LET ME BOW DOWN TO YOU NOW, DR. CREEPER.
Marlene: YOU ARE A WORKAHOLIC. You need REHAB. Does that precious hospital of yours offer THAT? Can you FIX YOURSELF with your WORLD RENOWNEDNESS?
Chisel: *shimmers threateningly*
Audio Science: What do you want me to do, Marlene? Quit my job and give up everything I’ve worked hard for, just to stay at home and entertain you?
Marlene: Just go to work. Go, before I carve your eyes out.
Audio Science: Fine. I’ll go. But I don’t understand any of this.
Told you my geniuses aren’t smart.
Manmaid: Hello, gorgeous. I’d like to–
Marlene: Get back, guy. You’ve got toilet hands.
And that, AUDIO SCIENCE, is how you resist a shameless flirt.
Tenisha: You’re my inspiration, you know. I love the way you work.
Random Guy: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…
Audio Science: Hello, Tenisha. I’m old so I couldn’t hear your conversation back there.
Tenisha: Awkward… Hi, Dr. Creeper.
Random Guy: *in a love bubble*
Tenisha: Why don’t you go inside, Doctor, while I say goodbye?
Audio Science: Sure thing!
Tenisha: Sorry about that. I’ve had this weird feeling in my throat so Dr. Creeper’s going to check it out for me :D
WITH HIS TONGUE… Or maybe something else eeeew banned4lyfe.
Random Guy: No problem. Same time tomorrow?
Tenisha: Of course.
Tenisha: There, all alone. Now where were we?
Audio Science: You were going to appreciate me because I deserve it.
Tenisha: Yes I was.
Audio Science: Nice bedroom.
Tenisha: Thanks, they used it to film the first Toy Story.
Audio Science: Oh, cool.
Cowboys: RIDE LIKE THE WIND, BULLSEYE!
Yee haw all the way to Adultery Land. And right before Christmas too. Jerk.
Meanwhile, Audio’s wife, chisel in hand, has fallen asleep while waiting for her husband to come home so she could apologize.
To be continued…