Chapter Forty-One: The Perfectionist’s Imperfection

Burglar: You know, I don’t think I’m even going to bother going in this house. I’ve got a bad feeling about it.

Because there are about four sims with the hidden Can Apprehend Burglar trait inside?

Burglar: Most likely, yeah.

Audio Science: I knew you were out here, scumbag! Now where’d you go? Put ‘em up!

Burglar: *ninjas*

Pilot Inspektor: DID SOMEONE SAY PILOT INSPEKTOR?

Burglar: Pfft, piece of cake. Who’s next?

Pilot Inspektor: Tag me, tag me, bro!

Audio Science: Sure thing… Just let me… get my heart out of my throat.

Pilot Inspektor: TACKLETACKLETACKLE!

Dolphin: Finally, some action! I thought I was a goner when his arms deflated like old tires.

Burglar: I love you, mommy. Goodbye…

Pilot Inspektor: That was a piece… of CHEESECAKE. With raspberries! And burglar brains!

Burglar: Agh, is it possible to break your actual butt cheek?

Pilot Inspektor: Mess with us again and we’ll go all Boondock Saints on your ass, yo.

Burglar: *autonomously Compliments Home*

Audio Science: Um, I don’t even know…

Pilot Inspektor: …

Dolphin: I like this guy.

Pilot Inspektor: Yes, that’s right. Run, Simba. Run away and never return.

Pilot Inspektor: All that burglar bashing made me HOWNGRY.

Marlene: Pilot Inspektor strikes again. All these dishes smell like SALIVA.

Andie: Try being his wife.

Marlene: Ugh, I don’t even want to know.

Marlene’s been, there’s no other word, A FRIGGIN’ BITCH lately. She’s been fighting with EVERYONE.

Marlene: What are you doing outside, Everly Bear Creeper?!

Everly Bear: I was taking out the trash, mom.

Marlene: I DID NOT SAY YOU COULD DO THAT, GET BACK INSIDE!

The still-glitched chisel makes her look even more dangerous.

Everly Bear: What is your deal?! I’M supposed to be the ridiculously moody one here! You’re ruining my teenage years! I’m not gonna be your friend anymore if you keep this up!

I’m surprised she’s the only one who’s rolled this one so far, because honestly if I was her friend, I would want to stop too. How does Audio feel about all of this?

Audio Science: Tenisha, we’ve been working together for a long time and I have to say, I thoroughly enjoy every second of it. You’re a wonderful co-worker, and once I kick the bucket, I’m pretty sure you’ll be next in line for my job.

I guess he hasn’t really noticed, being busy working and rolling wishes to hang out with co-workers and all.

Tenisha: Thank you, Audio Science. You know, every time I put a band-aid on a patient…

Tenisha: I think of it as putting a band-aid on myself. You know?

You might remember Tenisha as last chapter’s “Lady in Marlene’s Dress.”  She’s got the Stupid trait LOL.

Audio Science: Haha, I do know, I get it, yeah. I feel the same way when I give shots. Only I’m glad it’s not me because I’m frightened of needles. 

Tenisha: You’re my inspiration, you know, Dr. Creeper. I love the way you work.

Audio Science: Do you really? That is quite a compliment. My hard work isn’t appreciated much at home.

Probably because you’re NEVER THERE.

Tenisha: That really is a shame.  You can come here and be appreciated any time you want, Doctor…

Audio is so busy doing his own thing, he forgets it’s his wife’s birthday back at home.

Marlene: Oh, I hope and pray this chisel goes away once I get old.

Sage Moonblood: How dare you take the screenshot before I’ve developed my thought. My father will hear about this!

Hush, you.

Marlene: Oh, dear, it’s still there… Well, time to threaten more people, I suppose.

Pilot Inspektor: I see you’re about to win, so game over. *clears the board*

Marlene: That’s the third time you’ve done that.

Pilot Inspektor: I can’t let you win, it would destroy my toothbrush. DUH.

Marlene: Where do you suppose my husband is? He never comes home, it’s like he doesn’t love me anymore.

Pilot Inspektor: I dunno. Who’s your husband?

Marlene:  …Your brother?

Pilot Inspektor: My brother can’t be your husband. He’s my brother!

Marlene: Nevermind, let’s just play, shall we?

Pilot Inspektor: Okay, but you CAN’T. WIN. Got it?

Audio Science: Please tell me you wrote the time of death on Mr. Goth’s report.

Marlene Tenisha: Of course I did. Did you seriously just spend part of your day off worrying about work?

Audio Science: It’s what I do. Workaholic trait and all.

Tenisha: And that, Dr. Creeper, is why I find you so… incredibly… sexy.

Audio Science: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…
 

Audio Science: Whoa, you suddenly look upset! What did I do?

Tenisha: Nothing… it’s just… I’ve had a bad day and I keep flirting with you and you’re married. I know it’s wrong, I just can’t help myself.

Audio Science: Dude, chill. I got this. Let me take you to dinner and we’ll talk things out. And I won’t take no for an answer, I’m already in my formal wear, see?

Tenisha: Sure <3

Sage Moonblood: I’m growing up in the next screenshot.

Moxie CrimeFighter: Awesome. I’ll catch it on YouTube later.

Sage Moonblood: Awesome, I can seriously party now.

Okay, so I cheated a bit on this one. At first, Sage rolled the Stupid trait (that’s what I get for making fun of Tenisha).  I didn’t want her to have that trait because my Creepers CAN’T be stupid. Well, maybe Dweezil, but not Sagey. Plus, it’s not a “real” trait, so I figured it didn’t count :P I re-rolled (ONE TIME, I PROMISE) and got Star Quality.

Sage Moonblood: You’re watching AVPM again because of me aren’t you?

No!

Sage Moonblood: Liar! I know you are!

No, I’m watching AVPS so THERE.

Tenisha: Thank you for dinner, Audio Science. It was amazing. And you saving that man from choking and delivering that baby in the kitchen was pretty much the highlight of my life.

Damn those rabbit holes! I miss everything!

Audio Science: D’aww, it was nothing’.

Moon Unit: PAH, my son cheating on his wife? About time my kids started screwing up.

Yeah, look at their mother.

Moon Unit: I’m still alive though, so HA.

Some of you asked about Moon Unit, so I’ll go ahead and let everyone know: Yep, she’s fixed and still alive. I fixed her during the move by creating a new Moon Unit. I could’ve let her die and all that, but I liked the idea of her being immortal and just hanging around town for the rest of the legacy.  She did kill all those people after all. I couldn’t let her do it for nothing. YOU’LL NEVER FIND HER HORCRUXES.

Tenisha:  A friendly hug?

Audio Science: I hope you feel better now.

Tenisha: I do. Much better. Thank you…

Audio Science: Maybe we should go somewhere where I won’t run into family members.  They’ll get the wrong idea.

The wrong idea about you being all over another woman? No, no one could take THAT the wrong way >>

Tenisha: This pond in the middle of nowhere seem okay to you?

Audio Science: It’s perfect.

Tenisha: You’re perfect.

Tenisha: I’m sorry, I just can’t resist any longer.

Audio Science: I understand completely.

Audio Science: Thank you for appreciating me.

Tenisha: Why don’t you come by my house tomorrow and I’ll show you how I really feel.  

Audio Science: I’ll see what I can do.

The next day. OF DOOM.

Audio Science: I know it’s normally my day off, Marlene, but I’ve offered to go in to help out. There’s a widespread… mad cowplant disease outbreak and I have to protect Sunset Valley.

Marlene: Working again? Honey, don’t you think you could spend one day with me and the kids? We never see you and you missed my birthday…

Audio Science: Look, I know you’re upset, but this is my job. This is what I signed up for. I save lives, I bring home more than enough money to support all of us. Why can’t you just appreciate that?

Marlene: Appre… You want me to APPRECIATE that? The fact that your kids barely know who you are because they’ve only caught glimpses?! OH LET ME BOW DOWN TO YOU NOW, DR. CREEPER.

Marlene: YOU ARE A WORKAHOLIC. You need REHAB. Does that precious hospital of yours offer THAT? Can you FIX YOURSELF with your WORLD RENOWNEDNESS?

Chisel: *shimmers threateningly*

Audio Science: What do you want me to do, Marlene? Quit my job and give up everything I’ve worked hard for, just to stay at home and entertain you?

Marlene: Just go to work. Go, before I carve your eyes out.

Audio Science: Fine. I’ll go. But I don’t understand any of this.

Told you my geniuses aren’t smart.

Manmaid: Hello, gorgeous. I’d like to–

Marlene: Get back, guy. You’ve got toilet hands.

And that, AUDIO SCIENCE, is how you resist a shameless flirt.

Tenisha: You’re my inspiration, you know. I love the way you work.

Random Guy: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…

Audio Science: Hello, Tenisha. I’m old so I couldn’t hear your conversation back there.

Tenisha: Awkward… Hi, Dr. Creeper.

Random Guy: *in a love bubble*

Tenisha: Why don’t you go inside, Doctor, while I say goodbye?

Audio Science: Sure thing!

Tenisha: Sorry about that. I’ve had this weird feeling in my throat so Dr. Creeper’s going to check it out for me :D

WITH HIS TONGUE… Or maybe something else eeeew banned4lyfe.

Random Guy: No problem. Same time tomorrow?

Tenisha: Of course.

Tenisha: There, all alone. Now where were we?

Audio Science: You were going to appreciate me because I deserve it.

Tenisha: Yes I was.


Audio Science: Nice bedroom.

Tenisha: Thanks, they used it to film the first Toy Story.

Audio Science: Oh, cool.

Cowboys: RIDE LIKE THE WIND, BULLSEYE!

Yee haw all the way to Adultery Land. And right before Christmas too. Jerk.

Meanwhile, Audio’s wife, chisel in hand, has fallen asleep while waiting for her husband to come home so she could apologize.

To be continued…

Advertisements

48 thoughts on “Chapter Forty-One: The Perfectionist’s Imperfection

    1. For real, he’s terrible D:

      Haha omg I know. I might or might not have a girl crush on Sage… and possibly Lauren Lopez as Draco too XD

      Like

  1. Dramaz! ZOMG!

    Audio is cheating, Marlene goes through menopause with a chisel and burglars. Can’t say that life is easy for the Creepers :D
    Oh and how is Rufus doing? Is he with someone else now?
    (I’m considering to marry him to one of my legacy sims. His genetics are yummy :P)
    Awesome update and all these recent Creeper updates are pure win :D
    BTW, Harry Potter reference is FTW aswell :DD

    Happy Simming!

    Like

    1. Dun dun DUN!

      Haha yeah it’s going to be such an awkward holiday for them all.

      Last I heard, Rufus was dodging his child support payments and still very single haha. I guess no one wants to be with a deadbeat elder. Ooh, nice! I think that’d be great :D

      Thank you so much, really :D I’m glad you’re enjoying it!

      Like

  2. Uh oh, looks like that chisel’s gonna be put to good use XD

    I was totally undecided about which kid was my fave yet, but Sage is just . . . wow. I <3 her :D

    Can't wait 'til next chapter. LET TEH DRAMA UNFOLD :D

    Like

    1. :O!

      SHAME, SHAME. Audio is so in for it!

      Haha, thanksssss! I guess that year of watching that movie every single day after school has finally paid off!

      Like

  3. HAHAHAHAHAHA Toy Story!!! The cowboys!!!! It was just too perfect!! Aaah, I am laughing so hard!! xD This was a fantastic chapter!!!
    And the chisel! Usually I hate glitched things but oh my goodness, it was perfect! I loved when Marlene told Audio to go to rehab for being a workaholic, and the chisel! It was right THERE! xDDDD
    Mooooooooon Uuuuunniiiiiiittt!!! I will find her horcruxes! I WILL! >:D But no wonder she killed all those people! I suppose I can sort of forgive her now xD
    I kind of want to see the damage Marlene could do to Tenisha with that chisel…. O.o

    Like

    1. Aw, thank you SO MUCH! I’m glad I could make you laugh :D
      Yeah the chisel totally annoyed me at first and then I was like HEY MURDER WEAPON GREAT!
      Nevah! The day you find all of her horcruxes is the day she will be ruling the world! :P
      Haha I’m excited for the proverbial poo to hit the fan XD

      Like

  4. I can see it now in the Sims papers: Wife chisel’s doctor to death. Doctor is mourn by the community, not by family. I love Audio, he’s such an idiot. I do hope he figures out that Tenisha is a slut and apologizes to Marlene and gives up his practice to spend some time with kids.

    Like

    1. Lol that’d be some headline, wouldn’t it? I hope things work out for them, but I have my doubts. Audio might just be in too deep now D:

      Like

  5. MALFOY/SAGE MOONBLOOD IS GORGEOUS
    she is my new fave :D it was Audio, but things like this are unforgivable. >:(
    also, you have officially made AVPM reach number one on my must-see list.

    Like

      1. :D

        Lol yeah Audio’s taken a nosedive this chapter, hasn’t he?

        I’m glad you liked AVPM! I was a skeptic when I first started to watch it, but omg it IS pretty funny!

        Like

  6. ” Cowboys: RIDE LIKE THE WIND, BULLSEYE! ” LMAO!!!! that’s awesome! but really… Audio surprise me! bad! very very bad! Great chapter! <3

    Like

  7. “Every time I put a band-aid on a patient I think of it as putting a band-aid on myself.”
    I love it.
    And
    OMG Sage is a girl! I so forgot. Like a million times.

    Like

    1. Hahah, so did I, don’t feel bad! It wasn’t until she was a teen that I really fully remembered XD

      Glad you liked it! Thank you!

      Like

    1. Yay! I’ve got to catch up on the Dayes again too. And Taken! Lol. I’m glad you like them! I think I’ve got a pretty decent bunch, especially with Bartholomew :D Thank you so much!

      Like

  8. Hey! I have actually been reading your legacy for a little while now, but when I read this chapter I just had to comment.

    IT. WAS. SO. AWESOME!!!!!

    Tenisha being a little b*tch, Audio being to much of a non-smart genius to see it, Moxie being an awesome computer nerd, Sage and Pilot just being awesome in general, and THE CHISEL!!! x’D Audio, you are going to be in soooooo much trouble. But really, you should have seen it coming.

    This legacy is the most hilarious thing I have EVER read, and it makes me laugh and laugh and laugh every single time. Thank you so much for making this!!

    Like

    1. Aww, thank you!!

      Oh man, yeah… I really can’t wait to continue and see what sort of chaos explodes in the house!

      Thank you so much for reading this! It makes it worth while to write it! :D

      Like

    1. They really are XD Audio better watch out. I wouldn’t want to be on Marlene’s bad side, that’s for sure. Thanks for readign!

      Like

  9. So I FINALLY got all caught up. I have loved this legacy and your writing from day one. This chapter however holds a special place in my heart because of the mentioning of Boondock Saints. Starla, you are my hero.

    Like

    1. Aw, thanks so much :) I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed this legacy, even with my slacking off every now and then XD And LOL, I’m happy that my Boondock Saints mention was so special for you! My brother-in-law is obsessed with Boondock Saints. He’s even got a few of the same tattoos that they have.

      Thanks again! YOU are my hero XD

      Like

  10. My first reaction to this was “Stupid Trait?! WTF is Stupid Trait?!” So, I loaded up my game searched through my traits and couldn’t find it, which made me think you were referring to another trait and then I finally installed awesomemod and for some reason the next time I went into CAS, Stupid Trait was magically there. So, either Awesomemod adds it in but I can’t find anywhere in the manual about it, or since (according to http://sims.wikia.com/wiki/Trait) it only exists in the game strings Awesomemod does something funky and pulls it back up and makes it playable. All I know I did not have the stupid trait until Awesomemod was installed.

    Anyways, the burglar completing the house was friggin hilarious. XD The burglars in Sims 3 are so dumb.

    I love Marlene especially with the chisel and Audio is not going to have a chance once she finds out about him and Tenisha.

    Sage and Moxie are my favourites. <3 Sage grew up way hotter than I thought :3

    Like

    1. LOL, yeah I think AM either adds new traits of just un-hides some of EA’s originally hidden ones. I think there’s a list of added traits at MATY somewhere.

      The burglars really are dumb! I don’t see how they can even call themselves burglars XD

      Oh yeah, it’s totally on once Marlene finds out.

      Sage surprised me too when she aged up. I thought she might still look a little boyish, but she grew into her face pretty well. I can’t wait for the heir poll :D

      Thanks for the comment!

      Like

    1. Oh, thanks!!

      Well, I bought a new graphics card a few months ago, so most of it is just from that. For the past couple of chapters, though, I’ve used the Gimp (the poor people’s Photoshop, lol) to sharpen my screenshots just the tiiiiniest bit, because there’s a kind of natural blur that my game has that bothered me.

      Like

  11. Um… hi.
    I just read this whole legacy, and I love it! It’s hilarious! My favorite is Sage Moonblood.
    When’s the next update?

    Like

    1. Hello!
      Oh, thank you very much :D
      Silly holidays delayed me, but I’ve been working on the next update when I can. It’ll probably be up next week sometime! Sorry for the wait :)

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.