Hey, it’s sim!Mariah!
Mariah: I don’t know why some people think I’ve discovered the secret to always getting the most adorable babies in existence.
Because you freaking have! Have you SEEN her babies? They kill people!
Pilot Inspektor: ‘Sup, ladies?
Cassidy Crazybat: Oh, I see you’ve FINALLY decided to stick me in your game, even though I AM missing my custom hair.
I told you I would! I’m a slacker. Sue me :P
Cassidy: My lawyer should be calling yours within the hour. Anyway, who’s that?
Pilot Inspektor: Oh, that’s just my paparazzi. They follow me everywhere. I’m kind of great.
Welcome back, everyone! See, I CAN update faster! Are you proud? I am.
Last time we had lots of girl babies. We also… yeah, that’s pretty much it. Girl babies. Let’s continue on!
Pilot Inspektor: Honeycakefaaaaaaaace?
Andie: Yes, sweetie?
Pilot Inspektor: You just had two babies.
Andie: Yes, I did.
Pilot Inspektor: Marlene just had two babies.
Andie: That’s right…
Pilot Inspektor: Let’s leave our two babies with Marlene and her two babies and go out and have fun while she cries herself to sleep with a pillow over her head.
Andie: Are you sure? You think that’s a good idea?
Pilot Inspektor: Yeah, the lack of oxygen from the pillow will eventually put her to sleep. Let’s go!
Pilot Inspektor: What do you mean you don’t know who I am? I’m PILOT INSPEKTOR CREEPER.
Bouncer: Saying it louder isn’t going to increase your chances of getting in, sir.
Pilot Inspektor: But I’m PILOT INSPEKTOR CREEPER! PILOT! INSPEKTOR! CREEPER!
Bouncer: Sir, please CALM DOWN or I’ll be forced to put my muscle definition to good use.
Pilot Inspektor: Ugh, this is worse than the time I tried to read my toenail’s fortune.
Pilot Inspektor: Maybe…
Bouncer: Now we’re talkin’. Show me the money.
Pilot Inspektor: All I’ve got are these love coupons from Andie. One free massage, one free make out in the hot tub… Oh, I didn’t know I had this one! One free woohoo in elevator…
Bouncer: Nice. I’ll take all of them.
Pilot Inspektor: Something seems not right about this transaction… I’m not sure why though. But can I get in now?
Bouncer: Sure, you can get in anytime you want, buddy. Have at it!
Pilot Inspektor: Oh, thank you! You turned out to be a really nice guy.
Everly Bear: Has the crying stopped yet?
Moxie CrimeFighter: Yeah, the babies’ has. Aunt Marlene’s still bawling like a baby though.
Everly Bear: Poor mommy.
Andie: WOOOOOOO! I am SO buzzed.
Bartender: You’ve had half a drink, ma’am.
Andie: Is the room spinning, or is it just me? Maybe I shouldn’t be dancing on the counter so crazily! WOO!
Andie: Oh, whoa, I must be WASTED. Where did this maternity dress come from?
Andie: I’m preeeegnant, I’m preeeeegnant. Doin’ the pregnant dance!
Bartender: Please, kill me now.
Pilot Inspektor: Woo, go baby! I wish I still had my stack of coupons to throw at you!
Andie: I learned all my moves from BOOKS. Reading is GOOD. Wait, what was that about the coupons?
Bartender: Okay, because the bar is full of morons, we’re closed now, goodbye!
The next day is Everly Bear’s birthday!
Aww, what’s wrong, Moxie?
Moxie CrimeFighter: It’s supposed to be MY birthday first! Not fair!
I’m sorry :(
Andie: It’s okay, honey. When you grow up you’ll be so much cooler than Everly Bear anyway.
Moxie CrimeFighter: I know I will, but that’s not the point!
Everly Bear is basically a lazy genius so far. She rolls Heavy Sleeper as her third trait.
Everly Bear: Last night’s dinner residue! Breakfast of champions.
Later that day, Andie takes matters into her own hands.
Andie: Omg apples. The perfect hangover food.
Andie: SO GOOD OM NOM NOM.
Foreign Tourist Guy: Hey, some bouncer told me you practically give it out. Judging by the way you just violated that apple, I’d say he’s right. Wanna give it a go in that alley over there?
Andie: Ew, what?! No way, get the hell away from me, scumbag!
Foreign Tourist Guy: Huh? What about the free elevator woohoo?!
Andie: That is both disgusting and dangerous. GTFO.
Yay, another birthday! Sage Moonblood (3) is finally ready to become a toddler!
OMG WE WILL GET TO YOU, MOXIE!
Sage Moonblood: DID SOMEONE SAY DRACO MALFOY?
She totally reminds me of Lauren Lopez as Draco Malfoy in A Very Potter Musical. Seriously, that was my first thought. So either I’m extremely right, or I need to get out more.
Sage Moonblood: I am SO EXCITED to be a toddler!
She’s a brave party animal.
Sage Moonblood: I wanna rock and roll all night!
I fear for her teen years.
Moxie CrimeFighter: It’s finally MY birthday today.
Yes, it is, but we have other things to do first.
Potty training, for instance.
Sage Moonblood: B-but I’m afraid of the potty.
Andie: Ahaha, A Very Potter Sequel reference. I get it.
Sage Moonblood: No, I really am afraid of it.
Darnell: Oh, Kisha, you make me want to do dirty things to you.
Kisha: Oh, Darnell, I’d like to do dirty things right back.
Why is this important? Well, Darnell is the grandson of Justice. Kisha is the granddaughter of Rumer. And if you really get technical, she’s also the granddaughter of Diva because Diva’s adopted son married Rumer’s daughter. Grosssssssss on many degrees.
Kisha looks a lot like Agnes and Apple, though, only more tan. Pretty cool. Except still gross!
Yay, Moxie finally gets to grow up!
Moxie CrimeFighter: It’s only all I’ve ever wanted since I was born. GOSH.
Moxie CrimeFighter: I’M SO HAPPY I CAN’T SEE STRAIGHT!
Andie’s baby bump looks TOO CUTE in that dress. Look at it!
Andie: Uh, my kid grew up, by the way.
Oh, right. Sparkles!
Moxie CrimeFighter: Moooom, your baby bump is blocking the cake that I earned so hard!
Moxie is freaking adorable too. I almost want to edit freckles onto her. Maybe I will!
Moxie CrimeFighter: What’s my new trait, Starla?
Oh, it’s uh… Um… I forgot to write it down, sorry.
Moxie CrimeFighter: You must hate me.
Never! No way!
Omg gross Andie, did you just break your water all over the floor?
Andie: No, the shower’s broken. But I am in labor. Can I pleeeeease go to the hospital this time? I think I’ve earned it.
Fiiiiine. But remind me to redecorate this bathroom. It’s still pink from when Roderick lived here.
She ate the apples. THREE apples! WE ALL SAW HER EAT THE APPLES. WHY?! WHY DOES MY GAME HATE ME?!
This is Tu Morrow. She’s the kid of actor Rob Morrow from Num3rs (I never watched that show). And, of course, actually her name is her first name with her surname, but it’s still a funky celebrity name so oh well lol. She’s grumpy and easily impressed. And it goes without saying that I am NOT impressed that she’s a girl.
Andie: Sorry, but I’m done having babies. I love them, but I’m done raising them. Where do I put this one? And hey… where’s Pilot?
Where IS Pilot?
Pilot Inspektor: I jacked a boy from the hospital LOL.
Aw, you did that for me?
Pilot Inspektor: No, I did it for ME. If I don’t have a boy, I’ll be driven insane by all the female vibes and carrot sticks in the house.
He didn’t really steal a baby, but I’m happy to at least have one boy in the mix. And mixed gender twins are nice to have too!
I named him Dweezil, after Frank Zappa’s son. He’s easily impressed and perceptive. Oooh, spooooooky. And also, while he was being born, Darnell and Kisha broke up. I’d like to say he’s my good luck charm, just because of that.
So now there are 10 people in the house. How will I do? Find out next time, because I like to do short chapters just to keep you hanging :P
…Where was Reignbeau this chapter? Pfft, I dunno haha <3