Pilot Inspektor: I don’t like frying pans. They smell like chimneys.
Rufus Tiger: …Um. Alright.
Welcome back, dear readers! Last time, uhhhhh… stuff happened! Now we’ll continue with other stuff!
Here’s a picture of the older boys eating! Exciting? No? Well it has a purpose. You might notice that Pilot and Audio are eating with chopsticks and Bronx is eating with a fork. Well! I checked the entire family’s hidden traits via the SuperComputer and came up with some coolfax. READYGO.
- Roderick has the SimBot trait (durr), as well as Immune to Fire. Aw, there go my plans of burninating him.
- Along with the AsianCulture trait, Moon Unit also has Can Apprehend Burglar (that was passed down from Apple, I assume).
- Hector got the Burglar trait from his daddy.
- Pilot Inspektor and Audio Science both have the AsianCulture, Can Apprehend Burglar, and Burglar traits (lulz, they can apprehend themselves).
- Bronx Mowgli and Rufus Tiger also have the Can Apprehend Burglar and Burglar traits, but no AsianCulture.
Audio Science: Almost as interesting as my conversation about half-eaten food, so… no.
Okay here’s something waaaay more interesting than both of those things combined! …Because I didn’t have any other segue. Also, I didn’t think it was appropriate to intrude on this very private moment (read: I couldn’t get a good angle from inside).
Hector: *muffled romantic proposal*
Moon Unit: *muffled surprised wtf*
*muffled ring sparkle*
Moon Unit: *muffled “Starla, quit creeping and get in here.”*
Moon Unit: Uh, no.
Hector: Why not? We love eachother and have four kids together! What more do we need?
Moon Unit: Sorry, babe, that’s just not my style.
Hector: I don’t remember you saying anything about having commitment issues…
Moon Unit: I don’t, I just don’t want to.
(This surprised me. I really thought she’d say yes with no problems D:)
Moon Unit: What are you…?
Hector: Come on, Moon, maybe just take a look at the ring again.
Moon Unit: Oh, you’re right! WOW! SHINY! Of COURSE I’ll marry you!
Hector: Really? You will?!
Moon Unit: NO. Hahaha, did you really think I was serious?!
Hector: Don’t LAUGH at me, Moon, I’m trying to show you how much I LOVE you! Why won’t you just freaking MARRY me?!
Moon Unit: I TOLD you I don’t WANT to, why can’t you just RESPECT that, Hector?!
(This is what happens when you get two Hot-Headed sims frustrated. They kept rolling wants to be mean to each other.)
Hector: Well maybe… maybe if I was the Grim Reaper, you’d do it. Maybe I should go buy a billowing black robe with a hood and kill
muggles people to keep you interested. Is that what it’ll take, Moon? Huh?
Moon Unit: I don’t… I don’t even know what to say to that, Hector… Just because I won’t… Sigh…
Hector: Maybe we shouldn’t even be going steady. We’ll just be housemates from now on.
Moon Unit: Fine.
I guess that means we’re not having another baby? Guys?
Hector: I’M GOING TO GARDEN.
Moon Unit: This is ridiculous.
Pilot Inspektor: That’s love for you, momma. It’s like yodeling, only with greener grass and pickled turnips.
Moon Unit: …Uh huh. I’m going to take a bubble bath.
Pilot Inspektor: Mmm, grilled cheese, you are sooooooo goooooood!
Pilot Inspektor: Yeah that’s right. I just got to first base with a plate. Jealous?
Audio Science: Mom and dad are having a fight, guys, what can we do to save their marriage?
Bronx Mowgli: They’re not married, genius. That’s why they’re having the fight.
Audio Science: You know what I mean! Now THINK!
Rufus Tiger: Mom and dad aren’t married?! Since when?!
Rufus Tiger: Maybe we should get jobs and save money for them to have a huge special wedding! Then mom couldn’t refuse.
Bronx Mowgli: Hmm, that’s an idea. Or maybe you can get the job and I’ll just sit here being charming and witty. Yeeeeah, sounds good.
Audio Science: The square root of love is like… the equivalent of two thousand universes, so two thousand universes multiplied by fourteen million engagement rings is about ninety trillion weddings… And… that would mean… Ah, help me out here, Bronx.
Bronx Mowgli: Unfortunately I don’t think that’s mathematically possible, bro.
Two hours later:
Audio Science: Uh…
Bronx Mowgli: …Yeah, I got nothin’ either.
Rufus Tiger: I don’t want to get a job.
Pilot Inspektor: DUH, guys! Obviously we’re going to have to pelt them with ice cream balls and let the flamingos trample them until they’ve lost their hair. Don’t be so stupid from now on. GOSH.
Audio Science: That’s so crazy it just might work, twin brother!
Bronx Mowgli: My good sense of humor trait does not find this funny.
Rufus Tiger: Hmm… my glove smells weird.
Meanwhile, Moon Unit sets off to find some sisterly advice.
Moon Unit: You don’t think I’m in love with the Grim Reaper, do you, Diva?
Odd Kid Ruining My Shot: *stare*
Diva Muffin: I dunno, you two do seem to have a lot in common, and you’re pretty close… And come on, he is really hot.
Moon Unit: You’ve got a point, but I don’t love him, so there. By the way, experimental drug?
Diva Muffin: Oh no, I am not falling for your killing people ways.
On the walk home, Moon Unit accidentally kills another poor soul and is faced with the very man she’s been thinking about since her fight with Hector.
Moon Unit: Hmph. I am not in love with him.
What was that, my beautiful, murderous darling?
Moon Unit: I said I am not—Hey, who is that skank beside you?!
It’s not what it looks like, I swear.
Bronx Mowgli: This is all kinds of messed up.
Bayless Guy: Who is this person anyway? Can we hurry this along? I’ve got homework to do.
Back at home, Pilot Inspektor… er, prepares a meal for the family.
Pilot Inspektor: Hand Bowl and Dagger Spoon will aid me in my battle against the loathsome food processor!
Food Processor: Hey, man, back up. You don’t know me.
Also, I discover we have a new gnome in Rufus Tiger’s inventory. Meet… uh, well, I forgot his name, but isn’t he cooool?
As if to compete with the new guy, Chadwick mysteriously appears once again in the bathroom. Welcome back, Chadwick! Where’ve you been?
Chadwick: If I tell you, I’ll have to kill you.
Fair enough. Anyway, I’m thinking MAYBE his return had something to do with the new patch? Whatever caused it, he’d better stay put from now on. Or, well, he’d better move, but stay on the lot. There we go.
Rufus Tiger: Heeeeey, do I smell birthday candles?
Why yes, you do!
Rufus Tiger: Look at my rectangular head.
Pahaha. Makeover timez.
Better I think. At least he looks a little different from the others. He’s become a light sleeper.
Which apparently means he jumps in bed with mommy every chance he gets.
Moon Unit: My son is in my bed. Much better than his father.
I don’t even have to try to make these guys creepy.
While Rufus sleeps with Moon, Hector has been moved to the twins’ room.
Audio Science: Where his spiceberry bed clashes horribly with our orange.
Yes, but it’s better than him sleeping on the sofa and whining about being exhausted. Which I did try. And it sucked.
Moon Unit: Did Audio Science try to get you boys to think of ways to force me and your father together?
Audio Science: I’m right here, mom.
Moon Unit: I know, but I want answers!
Rufus Tiger: I know nothing.
Bronx Mowgli: Do I get a reward if I say yes?
Pilot Inspektor: To be fair, momma, we were under the influence of bicycles.
Moon Unit: What? I never understand you.
Pilot Inspektor: You know! BICYCLES. Quack, quack?
Moon Unit: Has Pilot always been that weird?
Audio Science: Always.
Bronx Mowgli: Yup.
Moon Unit: I guess if I weren’t such a crap mom I’d know that, wouldn’t I?
Bronx Mowgli: You are a crap mom, huh? Rolling wants to play a video game with me when you should know I’m a technophobe.
Moon Unit: Oh, are you? My bad.
Hector: Hey, Moon Unit, I was wondering if we could maybe talk…
Moon Unit: Hang on, I’ve got to showboat my touchdown.
Audio Science: Uh oh, dad’s about to crash and burn trying to get in mom’s pants again.
Bronx Mowgli: I didn’t need that visual, Audio. Get it? Audio visual?
Moon Unit: Hush, spawn.
Rufus Tiger: I am so uneasy about this I don’t know what to think D:
Yeah maybe try not thinking. That looks painful.
Hector: Mmm, I’d forgotten how perfectly round your butt is…
Moon Unit: Touch and you die.
Hector: Look, I’m sorry that I tried to pressure you into doing something you didn’t want to do. I never really told you, but my parents never got married and I grew up thinking it was my fault, so the whole traditional idea of marriage has always been pretty important to me. I know I didn’t seem like I cared about it much when we met, offering myself so easily, but that’s only because I could tell that making a ridiculous proposal was the only way I’d be able to snag an amazing girl like you. Again, Moon Unit, I am sorry.
Moon Unit: TL;DR.
Moon Unit: I’m just kidding. Apology accepted, Hector. I just liked things the way they were, and I thought we were both pretty happy with the odd little family we’d made, you know? I don’t need a shiny ring to prove that I’m committed to you. And I don’t care what you say, I would not prefer the Grim Reaper over you.
Hector: I know, and I’m sorry for that too. And I don’t expect for things to jump right back to the way they were. I’ll understand if you need time.
Moon Unit: Thank you.
Still no more babies? You guys suck.
Ghost Chad: I was CASed and killed all over again for this? At least send me to the graveyard where all the hot chicks are.
Bronx Mowgli: How is it that cake can still taste this good after eating it my entire life?
Pilot Inspektor: CAAAAAAKEOMNOM.
For the first time in a long time, I finally had everyone in the green (yeah, I’m serious), so I forced the boys to bond, because it won’t be long before they’ll have to part ways.
Bronx Mowgli: You catch the world cup? I heard Spain kicked ass! I couldn’t bear to watch, you know, because technology freaks me out and everything.
Pilot Inspektor: NO I DID NOT FONDLE A DRESS MAKER’S DUMMY, YOU FREAK.
Bronx Mowgli: …
Audio Science: Did you know a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down?
Rufus Tiger: Hmm.
Bronx Mowgli: Hopefully we’ll have a sweet birthday party when we all turn into young adults.
Pilot Inspektor: Statistically, parties are the cause of a lot of rug burn. And insect discrimination.
Bronx Mowgli: Ah, interesting.
Pilot Inspektor: It’s true. Make a note of that, readers.
Audio Science: The drama of heartbreak is so entertaining, isn’t it?
Rufus Tiger: Hmm.
Bronx Mowgli: Rufus doesn’t like to talk much, does he?
Pilot Inspektor: He’s probably got a horse in his brain.
I mainly took this picture to show how similar these two are. Bronx’s jaw line is a tiny bit lower, I think, but that’s about it.
Audio Science: Microscopes?
Rufus Tiger: Hmm.
Rufus Tiger: Time for school :D
Reader Kate said Pilot and Audio looked like Harry and Ron (from Harry Potter, of course), and I totally agreed until I saw Rufus and Audio in this picture. Cute XD
Bronx Mowgli: Something tells me skipping school is a good idea today.
Rufus Tiger: *walks past bus doors like a moron*
Bronx Mowgli: This is much better than learning things. Perfect scenery for my camera.
I’ve decided Bronx is going to get into photography because I’ve never tried it, and he doesn’t seem to be afraid of a camera’s technology.
Bronx Mowgli: If I name each one of these hot dogs, it’s almost like I’m my mom, killin’ folks.
I just really liked this picture :)
Rufus Tiger: Mother… Prepare to be slept with.
Moon Unit: Mmm, I took my happy medicine so nothing matters.
Rufus Tiger: Ahh, right where I belong.
Moon Unit: Up my dosage…
Moon Unit: Fancy meeting you here… In the kitchen… Shirtless…
Roderick (hey, he IS alive!): I wasn’t sure how to feed the babies, but it wasn’t like anyone else was doing it, you know?
Dr. Espresso Machine: Ah, yes, and how did that make you feel?
Moon Unit: Hmm, I wonder…
Moon Unit: Can I just… feel… for a second?
Moon Unit: Oooh yeah… I’ve missed this. So smooth.
Moon Unit: Oh, Hector! I love you! I miss you! I want you! To the bedroom!
Hector: Er. Moon?
Moon Unit: Yes?
Hector: No. Athletic. Points.
Moon Unit: Oh, sorry. Got carried away.
Hector: I love you, Moon Unit.
Moon Unit: I love you too, Hector.
Hector Unit prevails! And that concludes this update. Will Hector try to propose to Moon again? Will their make up woohoo cause an accidental pregnancy? Will Rufus Tiger stop being an anti-social mama’s boy? Find out next time! Thank you for reading!