Diva Muffin: He placed his hand on her ample, heaving boso… No. Her fragile heart beat rapidly as she felt one strong, manly arm wrap… NO! Ugh, how am I supposed to write a romance novel when I haven’t even experienced romance?! Time for a break. To the park for some fresh air!
Diva Muffin: Interesting. As I stand here with my tray of uncooked hot dogs, I feel a strong connection with the handsome man in front of me. Perchance we are meant to be!
Awkward. That man is your biological father, reincarnated with the new town.
Diva Muffin: What an absolutely thought-provoking book that would make! A beautiful young woman longing for love, finds it in the heart of a clone of her father! The two must find a way to be together in a world full of judgement! Look out, bestseller’s list!
I disagree. I find it disturbing.
Mysterious Traveler: What in the…?
Diva Muffin: Eep! He cannot see my face! There might be a resemblance there that would prevent him from falling for me!
Diva Muffin: Here, stranger, have my tray of hot dogs. They are vile and unsanitary and I’m not sure why I had them in the first place.
Former Babysitter, Davy Linnell: Pretty lady! LOOK INTO MY EYES!
Diva Muffin: Are you trying to hypnotize me? Wow. I’m going home.
Fifi: I hope you’re not busy later, Liang. We’ve got some work to do in the bedroom.
Liang: I’m sure I could make time for that, my love.
Moon Unit: Ew.
Liang: Will we be taking pictures like we did last time?
Fifi: Person person PLUS!
Moon Unit: Okay, officially lost my appetite. Where’s grandma?
Moon Unit: Grandma, we need to talk.
Apple: I was afraid it would come to this. You’re here because I need to die soon, aren’t you?
Moon Unit: Well, it does seem as though I have a certain power over death, and hrootbeer suggested it, so… yes.
Fifi: A wise legacy writer once said, and I quote: “The most efficient way of raising your last, impossible charisma skill is… screwing Cheez Whiz’s brains out. I’m serious. This is like skill-building magic.”
Liang: …Who is Cheez Whiz? Is that your new pet name for me?
Fifi: Um… Sure. Anyway, we’re going to test this out. You game?
Liang: Cheez Whiz is always game!
Moon Unit: Argh! Grandma, I don’t like death! I don’t want to have this power! I don’t want my loved ones and random strangers falling dead all around me!
Cowplant Statue: Just wait until your killing power is RIPPED AWAY FROM YOU UNEXPECTEDLY. *is bitter*
Apple: Moon Unit, dear, I don’t believe that you really have a strange, demonic power about you. I think that, yes, tragic events have happened around you more often than others, but it was all purely coincidental. You’re a sweet, fun-loving girl, full of innocence.
Moon Unit: Do you really think that, or are you just trying to make me feel better? The Grim Reaper seems to think–
Apple: Let me tell you a little secret about the Grim Reaper that might help calm your fears.
His real name… is Adam, and underneath his evil death robes is just a sad, glitched up man (picture from The Chim-Chim-Cheree Legacy, of course)!
Moon Unit: Really? A glitched up man?
Apple: Yes, really! Now a young girl like you shouldn’t be worried about killing anyone. You should be concentrating on doing well in school!
Moon Unit: And the way my lips can do this?
Apple: Yes, that too. Very good. Do you feel better, dear?
Moon Unit: Definitely, grandma. Thank you so much.
Liang: I’ve got to go to work now, Fifi, but Cheez Whiz will be back and ready for more tonight!
Fifi: You can um… stop calling yourself Cheez Whiz now.
Diva Muffin: Mom, I am suffering from terrible writer’s block. My Adventurous trait is nagging at me to get out and find some inspiration in the world.
Fifi: Alright, love. As soon as your grandmother kicks it, you can go traveling.
Diva Muffin: Sounds good.
Moon Unit: What’s going on?
Fifi: Oh, your sister’s got writer’s block, so she’s going to travel once grandma dies.
Diva Muffin: Hey, Moon, any possibility of you hurrying that along?
Moon Unit: I just spoke with her, so it should be happening any minute now. She doesn’t seem to believe I have any power over death, though.
Diva Muffin: Ugh, she needs to go quickly. I need to finish my novel so I can start on Uncle Justice’s biography!
Fifi: Now, now, girls. She’s your grandmother. Have some respect…
Fifi: If she doesn’t die tonight, we’ll just poison her waffles in the morning.
Diva Muffin: Eep, I hope it doesn’t come to that.
Moon Unit: Oh, come on, sis. What I hope is that you don’t end up with your father’s clone.
Diva Muffin: That was a lapse in judgement, Moon Unit! Writing romance non-stop for eleven days will do that to a person!
Moon Unit: Suuuure it was.
Fifi: Just don’t look directly into his smile. That’s how he got me.
Diva Muffin: Ugh, I need to go wash my hands. And possibly my brain.
About twenty minutes later, while Diva is off sanitizing things and Moon is at work…
Apple: She did this to me, didn’t she?
Fifi: More bars in more places my ass! It’s like there’s some sort of electronic disturbance nearby.
Fifi: Oh CRAP, mom, we were just morbidly joking! This wasn’t supposed to happen yet!
Fifi: Oh God, Moon Unit will really be messed up now! It’s all my fault for going along with it!
Apple: Sure, don’t cry for my death or anything.
Diva Muffin: Grandma, what are you doing?! No! Poor Moon Unit! She’ll just blame herself again!
Alright, let’s get this party started. Can I get a what, what?
Diva Muffin: Oh, Moon Unit…
Yes, where is she? She did a wonderful job. I think she’s finally getting the hang of things.
Diva Muffin: You’re… kind of… hot. In a dark, evil sort of way.
Your grandmother is dying, Diva Muffin, and all you can think about is my blatant sex appeal?!
Diva Muffin: S-sorry!
Don’t let it happen again. But I’m flattered. Call me sometime. Anyway, PEACE, WE’RE OUTTA HERE.
Synchronized mourning ready GO!
First they do the pitiful tear wipe.
Then they perform what I like to call the “WHY GOD WHY” stance. Great job, girls.
Apple was a wonderful, low maintenance sim, and the very first sim in this legacy to be born in and die in the house, which makes her death a little more significant and sad to me. On the day of her death, she was 114. She was a hard worker, an amazing artist, never complained, and loved her husband and every one of her children more than anything. With the exception of accidents Rumer and Tallulah.
Apple: I loved them too. I promise.
She now joins her parents and husband in The Basement.
Liang is so broken up by his mother-in-law’s death that he glitches.
Liang: I’m going to eat my feelings until I’m in a coma.
He went to bed with the cake, woke up with the cake, then set the cake down on the table and ate it. Unfortunately I didn’t get pictures. Bad me.
Moon Unit: A tremor in the Force. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master.
Star Wars quotes can only mean seriousness. Straight up, yo.
Moon Unit: I did it again?! I killed grandma?! WHY have I been cursed with such evil power?!
Fifi: I know you’re upset, dude, but we really need to get our dishes done before we start tapping our feet. You know how annoying that animation is.
Moon Unit: Mom, all this killing people has made me upset. Can I go traveling with Diva Muffin? Please?
Fifi: Nuh uh, no way. You’re just a teenager, Moon! And believe me, I know how grabby those foreigners can get!
Moon Unit: If me being a teenager is the problem, I can solve that.
Fifi: You completely missed the point.
Moon Unit: I’m your daughter, remember?
Moon Unit: Charismaaaaatic!
Next time: I’ll be sending this psychopathic looking female and her
easy hopeless romantic sister out into the world in what could be but might not actually be the final chapter of this generation! Hooray! Now it’s time for what I like to call In Another Save File.
In another save file (I’m so original with titles), Fifi Trixibelle and Liang had a third daughter named Jean. This actually made me regret not having them try for another baby. Rocking the Jupiter cut, she’s truly adorable.
Jean: I hate you for not spawning me.
As you can see, in that same file, though, elder Liang was a butthead.
Fifi ain’t no idiot, yo. Liang ended up moving out and dying sad and alone. Serves him right!
Also, I’ll note that Diva Muffin ended up marrying Malcolm Landgraab in that file. And Moon Unit married some spawn of the Andrews.
So that concludes this very late (and kinda short) update! They’ll probably start coming a bit quicker once again. I’m sort of having some medical issues that have prevented me from playing or really doing anything at all. But I am determined to finish, and I thank you all so much for reading! You make it worthwhile! Until next time!