Chapter Twenty-Five: Omg Hurry Up, Generation Four

The day after the very timely death of her husband, Apple pretty much did this every 30 seconds.  Sweet at first.  Not so much after about two minutes.

Apple: Gerald ate pancakes.  I can’t bear to eat these.  Oh, and that bottle of nectar behind me reminds me of him too.  And so does that odd colored spot on the floor…  And the air.

So I gave her something constructive to do, like upgrade the cursed dishwasher to Unbreakable.  Why didn’t I think of that before, you ask?  Have you read this legacy?  Somehow playing the Sims for nearly ten years equates to me still playing like a n00b.  Keeps it fun, I guess?

After her first day of school, Moon Unit wanted to go over to her cousin Oliver’s house.  This is when she finally began acting like she was mourning her grandfather’s death.

Moon Unit:  Grandpa died yesterday, Ollie, and now I can’t stop thinking about what happens to us when we die.  You wanna go to the graveyard with me tomorrow?

Oliver: That sounds scary.  But not as scary as water!  I’m in!

Moon Unit: Cool.  You’re turning into a teen tonight, so try not to get the Coward trait or anything.

Lulz: BWAHAHA!  Did someone say GRAVEYARD?  I want to go too!  And I’ll paint pictures of it that will torture people’s souls… FOREVER!

Oliver and Moon Unit: Uhh…

Elderfied Robyn: Luz, dear, you’ve got to come up with some better plots before you embarrass yourself.

I guess that’s all you can really ask from an evil artist.

The two arrived at the graveyard the next night, only a few hours before curfew.  There, Moon Unit had a breakdown, and freshly teenaged Oliver tried to pretend not to notice.

Moon Unit: Oh, Grandpa!  I hardly knew you, why’d you have to leave?!  WHYYYYY?!

Oliver:  Didn’t you like… kill him or something?


Oliver: So um… now that you’ve stopped screeching and we’re here, what do you want to do?

Moon Unit: I dunno.  Let’s go check out the mausoleum.

Oliver: You go ahead.  I’ll just wait here and uh… keep a look out for predators and junk.

Moon Unit: Yeah you don’t wanna come in here anyway. The floor eats your feet.

Moon Unit: CURFEW BYE!

I don’t think I’ve seen a kid go back home on their own when it’s late, but Moon Unit is no fun when it comes to rule breaking.  She ran out just seconds after she went in.

Moon Unit: My name is Moon Unit and you should know: I follow the rules wherever I go!

Speaking of rule breaking, Diva Muffin had wanted to both stay out past curfew and hang with her new friend Michael Bachelor.  Two birds, one stone, everyone.  I have my smart moments.  She gave him the special French greeting because she’s cool like that.

Simis: Nice one, son.  I’ll get the mood music going.


Michael actually enjoys listening to her conspiracy theories, but that’s probably just because it gets his teenage hormones going.

Diva Muffin: These speech bubbles?  They aren’t even REAL.  Look, my hand goes right through it!

Michael’s Hormones: Whoooa MAMA!

Diva was content with being just friends, but while she was explaining to him the reasons why there are no alien abductions in The Sims 3, he gave her The Look.

Diva Muffin: EAxis was giving away all sorts of secrets and the government told them, “Look, guys, this ain’t cool.  We’ve worked hard to cover this crap up.  Kazillions of dollars from all over the world have been spent on this, so you can either take the abductions out, or we’ll remove them by force and make your game insanely buggy at its release.”  EAxis tried refusing and fighting it, but clearly they lost.  Uh, why are you looking at me like that?  I’m not weird, it’s the truth!

Michael: Ga…ga…

Diva Muffin: Oh.  Damn it!  Just because I’m a Hopeless Romantic doesn’t mean I’m easy, okay?  Besides, the creator doesn’t like you so we’ll never even have a chance.  The most you’ll ever be is desperate wish fulfillment.

Jocasta: I think it’s time you left.  If my son isn’t going to be marrying in, we don’t want you here.

Diva Muffin: *impersonates Jocasta*  Nyaaaaaaahhh.

Jocasta: Now!

Fine, jeeze.  And fix your eyes, they’re not my defaults.

Diva Muffin: Okay, Farrah the Faucet, I’m going to sleep now.  No leaking!  If you do, after I’m done freaking out, I SWEAR I WILL RIP YOU OUT OF THIS CABINETRY.  Sweet dreams!

On her way home, Moon Unit is sidetracked.

Good to see you again, Moon Unit.  You really are making me proud.

Bessie Clavell: I… I just wanted some cheese…

Moon Unit: Why do people die every time I’m around?  What’s wrong with me?

This is where she rolled the LTW to become a World Renowned Surgeon.

Moon Unit: I must spend my life trying to prevent death!

Video games will help cheer my little couch potato demon up.

Moon Unit: It’s like all is right in the world again :D

Diva Muffin: Intense game face is intense.

107 Year Old Apple: Where am I?  What am I doing here? I feel something in my hand… *wibble*

Liang: I am home. *rolls want to have a child with Fifi*


Fifi: Honey, Starla said no.

Liang: What’s one ‘Try For Baby’ going to hurt, my love?

Fifi: I know first hand what it’ll hurt, remember?  There’s nothing more creepy than having to help raise your mother’s new baby when you’re old enough to have one of your own.  I will not be putting my girls through that torture. 

Liang: You have a point there.  But we’re getting so old…

Fifi: Yes, we are getting old, aren’t we?

Oh man check out THAT segue.  Better than the last, right?

Fifi: Who is this lady behind me?

No idea.  Oh, the joys of parties.

Teddy Jo: Woo, Fifi!  Grow up great!


Liang, that’s her brother.

Liang: Oh, okay then.  Carry on.

Fifi: I want a pony!

Michael: Maybe if I cheer the loudest, I’ll be able to marry in!

Not a chance.

Lady:  Later on, I’m going to pee on your floor.

Talullah: …What are we even doing here?

Rumer: Starla felt obligated to invite us.

Teddy Jo: What, I don’t get to say anything?


Fifi: Hmm, let’s see…  Yep, still awesome!

Everyone else except Justice, apparently: *suddenly bored*

Don’t go home yet, everyone!  We’ve got another birthday to cheer on.

Moon Unit: Mr. Bojangles, I’m growing up today, and I think that means that it’ll be illegal for us to be together afterwards.  Sorry, but I can’t do jail.

Moon Unit: We’ll always have our fond memories.

Mr. Bojangles: Aww, there goes my inheritance.

Moon Unit: I sure hope no one dies or is put in mortal peril this time. 

Apple: Oh I’ll be going any day now, sweetie!

Moon Unit: …Thanks, grandma.

Moon Unit: So far so good!

Liang: There is a hand in my face, ruining my excitement.

She looks incredibly like Fifi.

Apple: This excites me!

She grows up with Dislikes Children locked in because I don’t think she’s ever done her homework.

Moon Unit: Kids suck.

You were one three seconds ago.

Moon Unit: Greetings, Lulz.

Lulz: Haaaa, you do the Chinese greeting?!  That’s awesome.

Moon Unit: Look, dad, I use chopsticks like you too.

Liang: We are too cool for words.

In case you’re wondering, yes, this is the first time I’ve had her eat an actual meal to see if she used them.  She pretty much grew up on birthday cake and ice cream.


Oh, Diva.  Hey, let’s look around town, shall we?

Rumer: Welcome to the Pregnant Chicks of Sunset Valley Club.  We’re a little short on members now, as most of the club are in labor at the moment, but we’ll start the meeting anyway.  Please introduce yourself and tell us a little about your pregnancy.

Pauline: Name’s Pauline Wan.  My boyfriend knocked me up.  I never wanted kids.  And I’m cheating on him.

Rumer: Well… okay then.  Meeting adjourned.

Remember my simself’s little toddler grandson, Roosevelt, I showed in an earlier update?  This is him.  He’s evil now.  And in Egyptian wear. 

This is my simself’s other grandson, Giovanni.  He’s even more evil, and the Town Brat.

I am so proud.

Darlene Bunch grew up bald and in epic clothing.  Random outfit choosing can’t get much better than that, am I right?  She and Sandi French are going steady :D 

Darlene: Hey, aren’t you the creator of the Creepers?  I’ve got a bone to pick with you! 

Uh oh.  Back to the legacy house, quick!  Because it’s not like you guys care about this crap anyway :P

Fifi: Mom, I just want you to know how much I love and appreciate you.  You’re the best mom ever.

Apple: Fifi, dear, I know you’re just trying to gain charisma to complete your LTW.  How many more points do you need?

Fifi: Two.  Now let go so I can go make some friends.

Moon Unit brought home an Indiana Jones wannabe.  Lukas Summers is the son of Twyla Summers and some Ian guy.  He gives me a Gerald vibe, so I highly doubt he’s spouse material at the moment.  Just to remind you: I mostly go by trait compatibility when choosing spouses (they have none anyway), but I also try and keep some variety going.  He’ll be good for random wish fulfillment like Michael.

Lukas: HMM… I don’t think I like the sound of that!

Moon Unit: Get used to it.  We may be creepers, but we do have standards.

Moon Unit: So since a lot of people die around me, I got a job at the Mausoleum.

Lukas: That’s wonderful! Yaaaay!

Liang: Oh no!  My chiseled abs and arms of steel!  I can feel the muscle being sucked in, turned to fat, and moving to my gut!

Diva Muffin: Calm down, stepdad.  Everything will be fine.

Liang: No.  No it won’t.  I’m going to my room.

Lukas: I barely know you, but I am ECSTATIC right now.

Liang: Glad someone is.

Moon Unit: Must be fresh on my first day of work!  The dead do not like the stench of the living.

So the bathrooms were occupied and Fifi had about 8 of these in her inventory.  Efficient?

Really, EA?  Really?  Did you actually go there?

Diva Muffin:  Yeeeeah, growing up in my skanky sleepwear.

I typically don’t take pictures of children or teens in their skivvies, but being as this is a Cake Shot of Redundancy, I kind of had to.

Diva Muffin: It’s your fault for only ever changing my everyday wear.

Diva Muffin: Yay, growing up in front of old and dead people in my underwear!  This isn’t weird at all.

Adventurous trait?

Liang: You’re not even my own flesh and blood.  This is probably illegal!

Diva Muffin: BAM, baby.  I am haaaaawt.

Fifi: Don’t move, hon.  You’ve gotta check out my around the arm trick!

That’s talent!

Diva aged up with Genius locked in.  It’s kind of funny, in my opinion.  I mean, something seriously life-altering would have to happen to have someone suddenly become a genius in young adulthood.   I would’ve preferred her being born with it or something, but okay, we’ll work with it.

Next time: Diva Muffin goes on the prowl for potential suitors, Moon Unit grows up (hopefully), and someone from the past turns up out of nowhere!  Also, we might actually get an heir poll going!  As always, I appreciate you taking the time to read this! 

10 thoughts on “Chapter Twenty-Five: Omg Hurry Up, Generation Four

  1. I am still chuckling from the shower in a can shot.

    There were a lot of birthdays in this update.

    When will Apple die? Moon Unit needs to get right on that.


    1. It’s disturbingly funny, isn’t it? I think I gawked for a bit.

      There were. So much leftover cake, no wonder no one has cooking points.

      She does, doesn’t she? Apple is pretty low maintenance though, so sometimes I don’t even realize she’s around. That’s kind of bad, haha.

      Thank you for the comment!


    1. Thank you! Haha that shower in a can… It’s nifty, but mildly gross XD. I tend to pause a little too much, which is really the only reason I catch the funny stuff. And your out-takes are funny!


  2. So I just went through and read like 34 updates. I guess when you got your job I just assumed you stopped updating. But you didn’t. I paused Law and Order for this.

    PS when do I get to be in your legacy arrrrrrgh.


  3. Loving Diva Muffin and Moon Unit.

    Liked Diva talking to Farrah the faucet…

    Didn’t realize that about the shower in the can. Maybe I would’ve preferred not to know


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