Chapter Twenty-Three: Ignis

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The Lianginator says: It is time for you to introduce my stats.

Indeed, it is!  Because what’s a legacy without stats, right?  What?  Did you forget this is a legacy?  I did too, actually.  Don’t feel bad.

Liang Creeper (formerly Yat Sen!) enjoys latin music, much like the love of his life, Fifi.  Did he change that to be more compatible with her?  Probably.  He also likes to eat Dim Sum because dim sum nice foods.  His favorite color is black.  I don’t have anything to attempt to be witty with for that.

His traits are freaking awesome.  He is Neat, meaning he gets a nice little ‘Clean House’ option when you clickety around.  Who needs a maid now?  He’s also Handy, meaning he might not die while trying to fix the dishwasher.  He’s Good, which is… good.  And to top it all off, he is Never Nude and Easily Impressed, just like his wife.  No wonder she rolled the want to woohoo him the second she greeted him when they first met.  They’re total soul mates, I believe it now.

And because all of this is already so ridiculously long, I’ll also mention that Liang comes in with 9 athletic points.  Nice!  Now on to not-so-stat-like things.

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Of course the first thing we have to do is test out his Handiness by making him fix the Dishwasher of Doom.  It’s like the Creeper Initiation Ceremony or something.  All the spouses have done it, even if I haven’t gotten pictures of it.  He doesn’t have any Handiness skill points, but he’s Handy so he shouldn’t die… right?

Right!  He didn’t die.  So far, so good.

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Fifi: Here you are, honey.  Triple sanitized and thoroughly heated to kill off any remaining bacteria.

Diva Muffin: Oh, thank you, mommy.  You’re a doll.

Fifi: Mommy has to go out now because she’s Stir Crazy, okay?  You be a good girl.

Screenshot-6 DING DONG!

Mysterious red door is mysterious.  And red.  Whose door is it?  Could it be Elder Mysterious Traveler’s?  No.  Because he died yesterday.

Fifi: WHAT?  You could’ve told me that!  He is the father of my child, after all.

Yes, well, he made me angry so good riddance.  Besides, Liang is moar bettar!

Fifi: Tru dat.

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OHMIGAWD IT’S JUPITER CHIMEREE!  HIIII JUPITER!  I AM SUCH A BIG FAN!

Jupiter:  Who are you and why did you bring this pregnant woman to my doorstep?

In case you don’t know, Jupiter Chimeree is from Chim-Chim-Cheree: A Rainbow Legacy!  She’s awesome and I had to have her in my game, so there. 

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Fifi: We are both Brave Virtuosos.  AMAZING, AMIRITE?

Jupiter: Yes!  I am so entertained by this discovery!

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Alex, Jupiter’s husband: YAAAAAWN!  I am SO.  TIRED.  If only we didn’t have any COMPANY.  Then we could go to BED.

Fifi: It was nice meeting you, Jupiter.  I guess I’ll go now.

Jupiter: Yeah, he’s not very subtle, is he?

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Alex: Hee hee.  Disco balls.

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Diva Muffin:  I had fun while you were gone, mommy!  I wiped down all my toys!  No dirt monsters will go RAWR on them now!

Fifi: Oh, really?  What about TICKLE MONSTERS?!

Aww.  Bonding.

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Apple: Clearly, Liang didn’t read the recipe for waffles, everyone.

Liang: I’m right here, and yes I did.  I had no cooking skill points when I started, give me a break.

Fifi: Yeah, mom, when’s the last time you cooked anything? Right, dad?

Gerald: I’m staying out of this one.

Aww.  More bonding.  Kind of.  By the way, note Liang’s chopsticks.  LOVE IT.

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Liang: Jupiter Chimeree, I presume.

Jupiter: Liang… Would you mind getting out of my coded path?

Liang: You were in my coded path first.  I am checking the mail.

Clearly there are other ways to get to the door and mailbox.  EAxis logic strikes again.

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Jupiter: I’m not a fan of children, but you’re not so bad.

Diva Muffin: I am pretty great.

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Makes you want to have kids of your own, doesn’t it?

Jupiter: No thanks.  I can give this one back.  Can’t do that if they’re mine.

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Fifi: Woo!  Reading the strategy guide helps!

Jupiter: Argh, you cheater!

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Fifi: Uh oh, there’s not strategy guide for this.

Jupiter: I’m winning now!  Why are you just sitting there?

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Jupiter: Why are you standing?  You’re being weird.

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Fifi: Um. *labors*

Jupiter: So that’s what that looks like.

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Jupiter: Why would anyone want to go through this?!

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Diva Muffin: Mommy, where’re you going?  It’s my birthday! …Mommy?

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Apple: Squee!  Baby!

Diva Muffin: Look, I’m growing!  I’m growing!

Liang: That’s nice, dear, we’ll be right back.

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Jupiter: Great, I’m stuck here with the kid now.

Diva Muffin: But you like me!

Jupiter: Meh.

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Jupiter: I’ll entertain you guys with a song while you wait to see the new baby and Diva Muffin’s child face.

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Another friggin’ girl.  Will I ever have a male heir? 

This, everyone, is Moon Unit Creeper, named also after a daughter of Frank Zappa.  She enjoys Chinese music, waffles (like her sister), and the color lilac.  This generation will be easy to please with its waffle liking.  She’s a Brave Couch Potato.  Because we all know it takes a lot of bravery to sit on a couch all day? Sure.

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Liang: You’re eating rotten salad, Gerald.  See the flies?  That means it’s no good.

Diva Muffin: I can’t believe you don’t like me.  I’m beautiful and rolled Adventurous.

Jupiter: Maybe when you’re not sticky and kid-like.

Diva Muffin: I’m never sticky, ew.  I wash my hands at least 8 times a day now that I can reach the sink.

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Due to a baby boom a while back (which I’ve slowed down since), no one can get into the school because it’s always jammed with people.  Diva Muffin doesn’t help much.

Diva Muffin: I’m not going in until someone has sanitized the handles on that door.

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Whoa, birthday time already? 

Fifi: Yeah, you failed at screenshots again.

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Birthday Cake: *bursts into flames*

Fifi: …This is not a good omen, is it?

Bread and Jam: Saaaaave meeeee!

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It takes the grandparents a moment to realize exactly what’s happening.

Gerald: Woo, those candles are BRIGHT!

Apple: Yaaaay, cake time!  Moar cake!

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Gerald: Huh, something doesn’t seem right.

Apple: Caaa…aaake…

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Apple: Um…

Gerald: I… I can hardly see you, Starla.

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Gerald: OHGODFIRE!

Apple: Very observant, Gerald.

Psh, you’re one to talk, Apple.

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Gerald: OH IT’S BRIGHT!  AM I DYING?!  TAKE MY WIFE INSTEAD, PLEASE!

Apple: Very funny.  I married a good one.

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Fifi: Okay you possibly evil child, just lie here for a moment and mommy will be right back.

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Apple: Fifi, what are you doing?!  You’re going to die!  You’ve never fought fire, and the new EP is NOT out yet!

Gerald: You’re going to burn to death slowly and painfully, Fifi!

Fifi: Gee, thanks for the confidence boost you guys!

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Apple: Fifi, please!  Get away from there!  Just come over here and scream at the fire like we are!

Gerald: Yeah, honey, you’ve got kids to think of!  You don’t want them motherless, do you?!

Fifi: Will you two PLEASE shut UP?!  You’re NOT HELPING!

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Brunette: You think we should tell them we’re just supermodels dressed as firefighters?

Blonde: No, too risky!  Just point the nozzle thing at the fire and pretend you’re doing something before they catch on!

They are ridiculously pretty.

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Fifi: Well, you missed the action sequence in which we put out the fire after about fifty hours, but we all survived, so you’re lucky.

Charred Door: Speak for yourself!

Fifi: Now, let’s try this again.

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Fifi: …Are you freaking kidding me?

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Apple: Now not only is there a massive fire in the dining room, there’s a screaming baby in the room.  Could it get any worse?!

Diva Muffin: YES!  It could!  Just think of how much worse my neurosis will be after this!  I’ll be checking the stove three times as often!

Gerald: Oh, THE HORROR!

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Fifi: Oh my god, WHY am I the only brave sim in this house?!  My arms are so tired!

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Charlie’s Angels?  Not quite.

Brunette: Ugh, you are totally blocking all the good lighting.  Please move.

Fifi: I’m actually trying to DO SOMETHING, why don’t you get out of the way before I shove this thing so far into your perfectly eyeshadowed eye that your tears will be flame retardant for the rest of your life!

On a side note, I think the blonde has pink eyes :O

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And here we have the aftermath of the SECOND fire.  Sigh.  I like that the bread and jam survived.

Fifi: Ew, the baby pooped!

Well, yeah, you’ve been fighting fires for like three days.

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Fifi: Okay, if we have another fire, I’m giving you up for adoption, you got it?

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Liang: Yay, a birthday!  How was your day, my love?  Mine was okay, but man, am I tired.

Fifi: I am going to slap you.

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Liang: This bread and jam is excellent!  It has a strange smoky hint to it though.

Moon Unit: Oh don’t mind me, I’ll just lie here and be entertained by my shiny red plumbob.

And this is where we stop!  All ashore that’s going ashore!  How will Moon Unit grow up?  Why does anything relating to Liang screw up?  Will Diva Muffin be able to get over the trauma of the Two Fires of Generation Three?  Will she ever become curious about her real (dead) dad?  Will Jupiter and Alex spawn any babies on their own?  As always, thank you for reading and commenting and being an awesome audience!  You guys are truly great!

24 thoughts on “Chapter Twenty-Three: Ignis

    1. Haha thankssssssss! When I wrote that I was like “Will anyone even get that, or will they think I’m a weirdo?” I’m glad you got it :P And I’m still a weirdo!

      Like

  1. Omg how did you manage to set the room on fire? It didn’t look like q stove… Hilarious chapter:) I’m loving this! Keep writing!

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  2. There is only one solution. Moon Unit is a pyrokinetic. Things are destined to burst into flames when in her vicinity.

    …is it strange that I want to see Diva Muffin cooking a muffin? :D

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    1. Haha, yes I really do believe that.

      Not strange at all, lol. I actually bought her a stove just for that purpose, but then forgot about it… and now I’ve played ahead and she’s a teen now, so darnit :(

      Like

  3. Haha loved the update! you get them out so quickly >_> I feel a trifle guilty… oh well! Diva muffin is epic! I love her and moon is the most interesting baby I have seen in a legacy yet. I can’t wait to see what she looks like when she grows up!

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    1. Haha well the quickness has slowed, unfortunately, but behind the scenes is still kickin’. Thank you so much, that’s quite a compliment! Both girls are bringing a bit of freshness to the legacy, in my mind at least. Thanks again for reading!

      Like

  4. Wow, it’s almost 2:30 in the morning and I just finished your legacy. I must say, I loved it. Completely and totally hilarious! I can’t wait till you finish the next chapter.

    Oh, btw I’m working on a legacy, er, alphabetacy of my own. *hint hint*
    http://sandkunoichi12.livejournal.com/
    If you wanna check it out…..
    And if you do, a comment would be very appreciated ;)

    Like

    1. Thank you so much, I’m glad you’re liking it :D

      I don’t have a lot of spare time at the moment (boo, responsibilities), but I checked it out and will definitely be reading when I have a day off from work!

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  5. D’awww. D: I was so sad when I realized there weren’t any more updates.

    I love this legacy! The commenting is hilarious, truefacts. Can babies even turn into ghosts? I can’t believe there was a fire twice! :P

    I’ll be keeping my eyes peeled for the next update! (:

    Like

    1. Yeah I’ve been so busy lately, sorry! I have part of an update typed up. Just gotta find the time to finish (maybe this weekend).

      Thank you! I’m really glad you like it. I don’t think they can, but the two fires were definitely crazy! I thought Fifi was a goner for a second, the fire was all around her.

      Thanks LOADS for reading!

      Like

  6. LOLOLOL. (breath. scroll.) LOLOOLOLOLLO!!! (siiiigh. haha. scroll.) ZOMG! LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!

    that’s what I just sounded like reading this, and let me tell you, NOTHING makes me laugh, nothing! Laughter is locked in my head until now! Hahaha loved it!

    Like

  7. I think I’ve had one cake combustion in all my time playing Sims 3, and you get 2 in a row. If Moon doesn’t roll Unlucky or Evil, something is seriously wrong.

    Like

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