Before I get into the Creepers, I’d like you all to meet Roosevelt. He’s my daughter’s simself’s son with Skip Broke, lulz. I’m happy to have him because last time my simself died with no grandchildren and I was a sad panda.
Roosevelt: Marry me in?
If you’re good. Anydangwayz, let’s get this party started. It’ll have to be a quiet party, though. I’ve got an awful headache :/
Speaking of grandchildren, Apple’s lifebar is getting pretty full (she’s 91 days old now), so I figured it might be a good idea to let her get to know hers just a bit. Archie enjoys it when she tells stories from her childhood.
Apple: So then my brother ran home as fast as he could, just to take a bubble bath. I mean his arms were flailing around like a palm tree in a hurricane and I swear he was kicking his own butt the whole way.
Archie: Ahaha, what a doofus.
Rumer woke up one day with a strong desire to move out.
Rumer: Well, yeah, I mean you haven’t changed my wallpaper since I was born, and all you do is make me do martial arts training all day. I’ve got things to do, creatures to breed with robots and such.
She moved in with her sister, because I got a pop up telling me that Tallulah’s having money problems. Of course she is. You can’t pay bills with jumping jacks.
Rumer will be missed. I really wanted to have fun with her, but there’s too much other stuff going on.
Liang continues to perform his daily ritual of being a weirdo stalker man. Mouth breathing and ready to scratch at the windows, he just stands there creepily, watching Fifi through the glass.
Amg Liang. Get a life.
Liang: She is my life.
Fifi finally decides that enough is enough and goes out to confront Liang about his disturbing Peeping Tom wayz.
Fifi: Liang, you can’t keep coming by like this. It’s getting sort of pathetic, you know. I’m flattered that you want me this much, it does wonders for my ego, but this has got to stop.
Liang: Mmm, say that again, only slower…
For whatever reason, she invites him inside. Maybe he forced her to invite him in with his creepy mind powers.
Liang: I saw that old man come and then leave before you even had a chance to introduce him to his daughter. What exactly are you waiting for, Fifi? He’s not going to return. Your creator’s invited him countless times and he’s always just taken off before he even gets to the door, making it impossible for her to get any screenshots. He’s a coward and not interested in Diva Muffin or giving you a purple eyed child.
Fifi: The fact that you even know this stuff is disturbing on so many levels. Just sit down and give me a while and we’ll talk, okay?
Fifi does her best thinking in her sunglasses with her head buried under the water from the shower while wearing her fishy bikini and rapping.
Match made in heaven.
Ghost Agnes has seen enough and begins to interfere from the beyond. But what is she going to do with a bowl and a spoon? Find out next time!
But not really. I have more screenshots.
Uh oh, that somehow perfectly balanced sideways pie looks awfully familiar. Could it be possible that hopeless romantic Agnes knows something we don’t and can see that making Fifi extremely happy with key lime pie will finally get things going between her and Liang because it’s obvious that deep down underneath all of the creepiness is true love?
Ghost Agnes: No. I made that pie. I want to eat that pie. It was Chad’s favorite.
Well it’s also Fifi’s favorite and you’re roaming around way too late in the day, so resetSim Agnes Creeper.
…Was that mean?
Fifi: Yay, someone who isn’t living made my very favorite food!
And this is the only time you’ll ever get to eat it since no one cooks around here, so eat up.
Fifi: Okay, Liang, I am squeaky clean, filled with pie, and my maid is trying and failing at being a ninja. Now’s the best time for us to talk.
Liang: Please don’t press charges.
This is their conversation, I guess?
I actually did sound those out as I typed them. Skillz.
Fifi: Okay, so I did a lot of thinking. I mean A LOT. About us, Diva Muffin, my safety, and pie. I was going to surprise you with this once you were in jail after I had you arrested for trespassing ‘cause I thought that’d be a pretty sweet story for our grandchildren, but I just can’t put this off any longer. We’ll both close our eyes and wish for the best ‘KAY READY?
Fifi: Wait for it… wait for it…
Fifi: Bah! Bah-dah bah bah bah BAAAH!
The wordless proposal, ladies and gentlemen.
Liang: Oh, this will look absolutely fabulous with my couture wedding gown.
Liang: HMMPLG. I think I’m going to be sick.
Fifi: Haha, you so crazy.
Fifi: So, are you happy now? Ready to quit stalking me? Yeah? Yeah. Now come hug your soon-to-be trophy wife.
Liang: I’ve waited long enough. You can become my actual trophy wife right NOW.
Fifi: Hee heeeeee… KAY.
If Liang can make Fifi this gaga, I think they’re meant to be.
And so begins the wedded bliss between Fifi Trixibelle and Liang Creeper. Married in nearly the exact same spot as Fifi’s parents because I’m uncreative.
Liang: Ah, Fifi, you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this…
Fifi: Actually, I do. Eleven days, nine hours, forty-two minutes and seventeen seconds.
Liang: Who was stalking who, then?
Grammar police! Whom?!
And this is actually their very first woohoo, meaning GASP! I mislead you! He was never in the running to become America’s Next Top Father. I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive me and learn to trust me once again some day.
Liang: Alright, see you later.
Liang: Ever heard of ‘wham, bam, thank you ma’am’?
Liang: Yeah, now watch this trick. *changes relationship back to steady*
I follow Liang to this house, where he disappears. He doesn’t live here. He doesn’t live ANYFREAKINGWHERE. Then I get a pop up saying he got a job in the criminal career track, but I still can’t find him. Liang, I hate you.
Liang: Can’t hear you. Too busy glitching up your game LOL.
Fifi: Ugh, I don’t think I should’ve eaten that spoiled pie.
I don’t think the readers will fall for that again.
After trying all sorts of non-existent codes in the cheat box, including but not limited to:
Add To Household Liang Creeper
makeActive Liang Creeper
boolProp MakeLiangCooperate true
OMFG LIANG YOU SUCK TRUE
I was finally able to reset him and invite him over again. We triple sped through the entire second marriage process.
Fifi: Try that crap again and you’ll be pulling chopsticks out of some very BAD places, got it?
So Liang steps in as daddy for Diva Muffin (because seriously, trying to get Pierre over here is just useless). Diva takes to him right away, which will hopefully continue as she grows older.
Liang: Come on, Diva, you can do it.
Diva Muffin: Did you use the hand sanitizer I labeled specifically for you?
Liang: Of course!
Diva Muffin: Good, now don’t let anyone else use it, okay? Everyone has their own, and if they use someone else’s we’ll have major cross-contamination on our hands. Get it? On our hands? Hee hee!
Liang: You’re going to be one high maintenance and unfunny child.
Fifi: You forgot to customize my maternity wear into ‘badass’, Starla. I have a reputation to uphold, you know.
My bad. Well, I hope to see you around next time! Thank you for reading! The only question I have for you this update is this: Have you seen Alice in Wonderland yet? Oh, and will Fifi have a baby that randomly disappears and gets a job in the criminal career track? We’ll see.