Pregnancy didn’t phase Fifi at all. She continued doing whatever she felt like doing each day. Everyone was off her back for the most part, and although the big question in their minds was where the baby came from in the first place, they were happy to keep quiet about it. All they knew was that it was definitely not from the cabbage patch.
Tallulah: Psst, dad, maybe it’s Bob Newbie’s.
Gerald: Shh! No, I don’t think she ever had any real feelings for him. I think the only reason she ever showed any interest was bec–
Fifi: *singing* I heeeear yoooou!
As the pregnancy progressed, Fifi decided it might be polite to inform the possible fathers that they could be expecting spawn.
Fifi: Me? Oh, I’m not bad, really. Just gaining weight rapidly and trying to think of names for it. No, not names for my fat, names for the baby that’s causing it. The dad? Possibly you. Ta daa!
To most men, that would be called The Phone Call of Doom.
While playing for tips around town one day (because there’s no maternity leave for talent), she ran into Robyn, who was also pregnant at the time. Yes, again. Good boy, Justice.
Fifi: Hello, preggo twin! Nice day for being pregnant isn’t it? Pregnant.
If you ask me, I think she’s pretty excited about the whole deal.
Robyn: You’re pregnant?! Say whaaaat? I didn’t even know you’d gotten married! Congrats, Feefernator!
Fifi: Married… Feefernator… Ehh… System meltdown in 5… 4… 3… Okay I’m good.
Fifi: Psh, I don’t need no man, Robyn. If I could’ve knocked myself up, I probably would’ve.
Robyn: Hahaha, oh, Fifi.
APPLE ACHIEVED HER LIFETIME WISH EVERYONE! She is now a Forensic Specialist – Dynamic DNA Profiler.
This makes her the very first legacy member to reach a LTW. You go, Apple.
Apple: Woo. Now it’s nap time.
Apple: I haven’t seen you around much, Rumer. Have you been up to evil things?
Rumer: No, mom, not like I’d tell you if I have. And you’d better not run a forensic analysis on me either.
Apple: Well if you ever do anything bad, at least let me know first. We look suspiciously alike and I’d rather not be blamed for your wrongdoings.
Rumer: Gee, thanks. Got it.
And if you’re wondering who that other female is, I don’t know either.
Unsure of how much longer she had before the baby came, Fifi got on the phone again, inviting the possible babydaddies to stay at the Creeper household in case they wanted to be there for the birth. Two had to come from China and France (what an international occasion) and would be there next morning. Trigger, however, would be able to stay overnight.
Fifi: I don’t know what you should tell your wife, Trig. Maybe you’ve got dolphins to train all night or something. I’m good at breaking rules, not coming up with lies for them, jeeze!
Trigger seemed both excited and afraid as he saw Fifi pregnant for the first time. He hadn’t thought she was lying about the baby, of course (because she’d be horrible at it, obviously), but actually seeing the bulging belly made it all the more real.
Trigger: An affair baby… Just what I’ve always wanted.
Trigger: So the little guy in there really could be mine, huh?
Fifi: Or girl. I’m hoping for a girl, so she’ll be super great like me.
As he’d planned, Trigger spent the night. No woohoo happened, but for Fifi it felt kind of nice to have someone in bed next to her. As long as he didn’t steal the blankets. If he did, he’d be meeting hard floor faster than you can say “lying cheating scoundrel”.
In the middle of the night, though, Trigger woke up, suddenly afraid that his lie hadn’t set right with his wife. He had to go home to her, leaving his possible baby behind. Coward!
Trigger: I’m uh… just sleepwalking. Yeah, that.
Not too long after Trigger bailed, Fifi woke up.
Fifi: He punked out on me, didn’t he?
Fifi: Oh well. I can deal with that.
Fifi: BUT I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS! MOOOOMMY!
Mommy was fast asleep, but Tallulah heard her from the next room over.
Fifi: Thanks, Tallulah. I appreciate you taking me to the hospital.
Tallulah: Meh, I felt like getting out of the house anyway. Plus I never get face time.
Tallulah: I’ll just wait out here. Hospitals smell funny.
Very supportive there, Tallulah.
Fifi went through the whole simbirthing process alone, but it was alright with her. She and little Diva Muffin were just fine without help. Diva Muffin Creeper was born with Artistic locked in, then rolled Neurotic. Her favorites are Indie music, waffles, and hot pink. She was named after Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen Zappa (talk about a freaking name there), youngest daughter of musician Frank Zappa. I’ve been waiting for SOLONG to use this name. I’m excited.
It didn’t hit her until the taxi ride back home, but Fifi now realized how angry she was at Trigger for abandoning her that way. He told her he’d be there, but now it was crystal clear that even if he was Diva’s real father, it wouldn’t matter to him. He had his own family to worry about. She should’ve known this before she’d ever gotten her hopes up about him.
Fifi: I’m a mother.
Yes you are. It’s nice, isn’t it?
Fifi: I’m sure it will be once this horrifyingly nauseated feeling passes.
Tallulah: Why do you ignore us so much? We’re cool too, you know.
You may be, but you’re not my freaking heiresses. And you were mistakes.
Tallulah: I feel like crying.
Rumer: Hey, I see a ponytailed boy. Is he supposed to be mine?
Rumer: Oh no you di-in’t just tell me I have lovely lady lumps, Newbie boy.
Rumer: Just for that, I DECLARE YOU MY NEMESIS. You will rue the day you ever discussed my body with me!
For one little comment? Really?
Rumer: Come on, I’ve been waiting to do this for forever! Don’t ruin it for me.
Liang’s plane got in late, but he showed up as soon as he possibly could. Apple instantly began sizing the man up, ensuring he was the perfect candidate for her daughter.
Liang: Um, Fifi? Your mother’s got a strange look in her eyes. What do I do? …Fifi?
Unfortunately for him, Fifi was taking a quick nap and hadn’t heard yet about his arrival. Liang was stuck in the living room with stale birthday cake and the mother of the woman whose child he possibly fathered. No an ideal situation for any young man.
Apple: So you’re the big daddy, right? When are you going to move in and make Fifi an honest woman?
Liang: Um, we haven’t discussed these things. I don’t know if I’m the father or not, and I don’t think Fifi really wants me to move in…
Apple: Oh, she does. She just doesn’t know it yet.
Fifi’s nap turned into full on sleep, so to escape Mrs. Creeper’s probing questions, Liang slipped into her bedroom and laid down next to her. He was rather surprised when she slid over and wrapped her arm around him.
The next morning, Liang arranged for Tallulah to watch Diva Muffin so that he and Fifi could finally discuss their situation.
Liang: Your mother seems to be under the impression that I’m the father, and that I’ll be moving in and we’ll be getting married.
Fifi: Haha, does she? And how does that make you feel, Mr. Legacy Spare?
Liang: Actually, I have a confession to make, Fifi. From the moment I saw you I had a feeling that you were The One. You know that feeling you get just before you puke? It felt like that, only more significant and almost sparkly.
Fifi: Romantic. Go on.
Liang: I decided then and there that I wouldn’t let you get away without putting up a fight. So, regardless of who Diva Muffin’s father is, I want you to know that I am here for you one hundred percent. I won’t abandon you, I won’t hurt you. I will only love you and our daughter unconditionally for the rest of my life.
Fifi: Ugh, I really hate you for saying that, you know? Honestly, Liang, I don’t know what I want anymore. I thought I’d been in love with a boy who I should’ve known could never love me back the way I wanted him to. The whole idea of marriage, and especially love, just isn’t the same for me now. It’s all just a big sham in my opinion. I don’t want to lead you to believe I’m going to marry you and we’re going to live happily ever after. This isn’t, and will never be, a fairy tale. That’s the sad truth.
Liang: I will try to understand how you feel, Fifi. But I want you to know that I will not take no for an answer. I will continue waiting for you, even if I must wait until the end of my days. I know you are my one and only, the sweet and sour sauce to my egg rolls, if you will.
Fifi: …Just don’t turn into a creepy stalker guy, okay? Cops run in my family, and I will sic them on you if I have to.
What will become of Fifi and Liang? Are his intentions sane, or will we have to eventually drown him? Who is the baby’s father? And where was The Mysterious Traveler? He mysteriously never showed up. Why doesn’t Rumer enjoy compliments on her lovely lady lumps? Is Fergie going to make an appearance in the next chapter? Definitely not. But someone familiar will! Thank you for reading and simtastic simming!