Chinese Relic Thing Guy Lion Something: Whazuuuuuuuup? Be prepared for a wonky update because, due to bad planning, the writer had no idea what to do with her screenshots. KBAI!
Gerald: Hey, Fifi, it’s been a while since we’ve talked, hasn’t it? Would you like to sit down and have a little chat with your old dad?
Fifi Trixibelle: SCREW THIS, I’M GOING TO CHINA.
I suppose the Hot-Headed trait just kicked in…
Fifi: Ugh, does he think I’m stupid? I know what he wants to talk about, and I don’t want to hear it. I’ll get married and have kids when I’m good and ready to, damnit.
And so distraught Fifi heads off to China, and I back off because she clearly needs her space.
Fifi: What I need is a distraction. Let’s see… Oh, look, some lazy guy needs someone to go searching for a mysterious relic in a deep, dark, deadly tomb. If that’s not a distraction, I don’t know what is. I’ll just gather supplies before I go.
Fifi: This is totally better than being cooped up in that house. My Easily Impressed-o-Meter gives it ONE BILLION out of 10 stars.
Liang: So… Fifi was it? What brings you to our beautiful country?
Fifi: Well, guy I’ve just met and am pouring my heart out to anyway, I’m kind of a legacy heiress who’s miserably crumbling under the pressure… I’m supposed to be getting married and continuing the family line and all that, but I’ve been distracted and going through things of my own that no one understands because they’re not nearly as cool as me. To top it all off, I’ve never been very good at doing what’s expected of me.
Liang: I am sorry to hear that. You know, here in China, we also participate in legacies. I’m actually a legacy spare myself.
Fifi: You’re a spare? Well then you’ve had the easy job. Sometimes I wish I could’ve been a spare. No expectations or deadlines, not having to think very hard about who you’re going to marry. Life would be good.
Liang: I don’t know about that. I am not married at all, Fifi, nor has this been easy for me. You see, I had big dreams for being chosen heir, but everyone else thought my sister would be better at it than I would. Story Progression hasn’t blessed me with the things I could’ve accomplished on my own. All I can do is sit here and wait for things to happen to me, if it even remembers I exist.
Fifi: I guess I see your point, Liang. Still, it doesn’t make anything better, really. When I go home, I’ll still have to figure out who I want to spend the rest of my life with, and it doesn’t help that the one I really want is taken.
Liang: The readers don’t know who you want, do they? That was one of those hints to make them wonder what the creator has been hiding from them?
Fifi: Pretty much, yeah. But really the creator didn’t know what she was doing with me until the end of this chapter, and she’s adding this part in to pretend that she did. I’ll see you around, Liang. Thank you.
Liang: You are quite welcome, Fifi. And remember, if all else fails, I’m still single. And we have Never Nude trait compatibility. Just imagine the interesting woohoo we’d have.
Fifi: Okay… you can let go now.
Fifi: Lazy guy need relic?
Lazy Guy: Yup. Brave trait?
Fifi: Heck yes.
Lazy Guy: Excellent. Fetch pls.
Fifi: You’ve been awfully quiet, Starla.
I told you, I’m letting you have your space.
Fifi: Thank you, but I’d like someone to talk to while I’m down here all alone.
What happened to your Brave trait?
Fifi: Don’t judge me!
Fifi: KEYSTONE DOOR UNLOCKING MAGIC WIN!
The music and sound effects in tombs are just full of awesome.
Fifi: I should’ve brought Tallulah to do the heavy work.
Psh, Tallulah’s just as puny as you are. And you’re going to have to try harder than that to move three tons of statue, I would think.
Fifi: I sure do hope this dive well is deeper than it looks.
Yeah, I’d say you’re pretty screwed if it’s not. Although it sure would solve our heiress dilemma…
Fifi: Remind me not to dive into water while I’m wearing leather pants again, okay?
At least you’ve got a spiffy vest to cover up that white tank top… That could’ve been worse.
Fast forward to much later!
Fifi: Well, the lazy guy sure was happy to get his relic, and now I’ve got all sorts of things in my inventory that you’ll probably ignore. Time for sleep!
The Chinese aren’t as nice as the Riverviewians about tipping. Or listening to good guitar playing, really. There were two men standing around suspiciously gossiping but that was about it.
Whaaaat? How’d this get here?
And since Fifi seemed like she wanted to sleep in a real bed on the second night, I sent her to home base. That is when she met this guy. We shall call him The Mysterious Traveler.
She was quite taken with The Mysterious Traveler. There was a certain sense of danger about him, something a sort of thrill seeker such as herself was drawn to.
Fifi: You’re super groovy in a far out way.
He listened, just as Liang had done (only more mysteriously), as Fifi vented her many heirship frustrations.
Fifi: And they had a set of twins JUST before they turned into elders. How was I supposed to work with that?!
He also continued to be mysterious, which made him even more appealing. To Fifi, this vacation was all about getting away from responsibility, being reckless, gaining a sense of freedom and absolutely having fun, no strings attached.
So of course it only made sense to snog the man. It wasn’t as if she’d be seeing him again, just like Liang. Although Liang gave a stalker vibe, so we’ll see how that goes.
Fifi and Trigger had been friends for a while now, and had an obvious chemistry that they’d always denied (Fifi moreso than Trigger, of course). Becoming closer over the years, it had come as a shock to Fifi when she’d been told the one man she’d secretly wanted was married. Finally back at home, there were now some things to take care of.
Fifi: I’ve done some thinking and I don’t care if you’re married, Trig. I’ve never exactly been a fan of rules, have I?
Apple: I’m unaware of the things outside the window.
Mismatched clothing can only mean one thing. Gasp!
Fifi: Oh hush, you knew what you were doing when you did this to me. And by the way, you EPICALLY FAIL at screenshots this chapter.
I do, and I’m sorry to all of you who probably have ‘wtf’ expressions stuck on your faces. I know this chapter is crap, but I’m publishing it anyway. Now I know how Stephenie Meyer feels. But anyway, who could’ve possibly gotten Fifi pregnant?! What have I dooone? Oh man, find out soon! Thanks for reading!