Chapter Eighteen: The Cabbage Patch



You are the sunshine of my life
That’s why I’ll always be around,
You are the Apple of my eye,
Forever you’ll stay in my heart!

Stevie Wonder would be proud.


Apple: I’m swooning on the inside, I promise.

Rumer and Tallulah: Old people are weird.

Just feel lucky they aren’t Sims 2 Elders, girls.


Hal (Apple’s co-worker): Charming!  So charming! 

Fifi: I’m beginning to love this Charming Introduction stuff.  It’s almost like mind control.


Right, well, here’s lovely Tallulah post-makeover.  She still looks like the evil one to me.  I think it’s the height of her eyebrows.  They give her a sinister look.


Rumer is soft and squishy and I heart her.  I gave her the squiggly eyebrows, thinking that they might give her evil expressions, but they kind of just make her look worried all the time.  That’s not the case in this picture, though.

Rumer: Homework BLOWS.  Ugh!



Rumer: Muahaha!  I have done my homework and now I’m going to have an EVIL SLUMBER! 

Tallulah: Hey, does that mean I get to have an Athletic Slumber?

No.  But don’t worry, there’s no difference.

Rumer: It’s EVIL!  The difference is in the intention!


Hal: That daughter of yours is beautiful, Apple.  I can has?

Apple: You’re married, with children.

Hal: Gah!  Story Progression strikes again!


Awwes, almost matching PJs.  Aren’t you two so cute.

Rumer: I don’t know, I appear to be worried about something.

Tallulah: Meh, I am seemingly perturbed. 

Perturbed is a funny word.  Go ahead, say it out loud.  Perturbed! 


Rumer: Did you hear?  Justice’s wife is having a baby.


Tallulah: Well isn’t that just CRIMINAL?

Har har.  Let’s hope she rolls Good Sense of Humor eventually.


Teddy Jo: Yes, SCORE!!

Fifi: What the crap are you so excited about, TJ?

Three guesses.


Oh, well would you look at that.  My meddling actually paid off!  Teddy Jo is now Teddy Jo Simovitch.  Haha, I guess we know who wears the pants in that relationship.

Teddy Jo: Hey, I do!  Technically…

Betty: This non-existent wedding ring blows my mind!


Fifi:  She doesn’t look pregnant to me.

Robyn:  I am, though.  When will you be carrying on your legacy?

Fifi: Eh, someday.  Maybe.  We’ll see.

It seems as though all the marriage and baby talk is getting to Fifi.


Fifi: I totally saw it coming and wasn’t at all surprised when it happened, but congratulations on marrying the girl of your dreams, I suppose.


Teddy Jo: Thank you, Feefs, it means a lot.  I’m happy with my life.  And I can’t believe I ever wanted that Ice Queen French Woman.  We would’ve had some bratty children, can you imagine?

Fifi: Children… heh… Oh, look, it’s Betty.  Bye.


Fifi: I know you’re probably still angry with me for snogging your boyfriend when we were in high school, but I hope you understand why I did it now.  Congratulations.


Betty: I can sense that you’ve rolled the want to be mean to me, and that your creator has ‘Insult’ lined up in your queue.  For the sake of keeping peace, I’m not going to let you do that.  Hmph.

Fifi: Dangit!

Don’t you just love Sims grudges?  Fifi gets the ‘Enemy’ or whatever moodlet when she’s in the same room with Betty.


In other news, Apple forgot to go home after work and decided to nap on a really uncomfortable looking stone bench outside of the police station. 


And after a few long hours of making Tallulah work out to the stereo, I finally realized she can’t gain athletic skill.

Tallulah: It makes me happy just feeling the burn, though, don’t worry.



Gerald grew up and is the most adorable elder I have ever seen.

Gerald: I am the most adorable elder you have ever seen!

I just said that!





Fifi: Doing your homework?  You two disappoint me.

You did yours, Fifi, my very first A student.

Fifi: You only thought I did.  I actually just bribed the teachers for good grades.  Now stop it, you two!


So here’s a funny story…  Rumer woke up with the want to find a rock one day (which is cool because I was going to use them to start collecting anyway).  I looked over the Riverview map for FIFTEEN MINUTES and could not find ONE SINGLE ROCK.  I was so frustrated, thinking Riverview had failed me once again (not sure if you could tell, but I’m not a big Riverview fan).  Then I accidentally zoomed the camera just the tiniest bit and BOOM, rock there, there, there, there, and there.  Like I said before, I am a genius.


So Rumer then became my rock collector.

Rumer: I will use these rocks for PURE EVIL, I tell you!

Sure you will.


Apple gets her Question on again, this time with her very own son (and co-worker).

Justice: I swear, mom, I did not eat the last doughnut in the break room!

Raise your hand if you find it funny that Justice works in Law Enforcement. 


Apple: What?  I’m officially a grandmother?  Be right there!


Apple: So where is he, Justice?  Where is this baby Archie?

Justice: Well, mom, you know how they say babies grow in the cabbage patch?  It’s true, look down there.


Apple: Oh!  My babies didn’t come from the cabbage patch!  This is truly a miracle of life!  Hello, baby Archie.  It’s been so long since I’ve held a baby in my arms.

It’s been like 12 days, Apple.


Apple’s reports rating is still looking like this: -_-  She only has one promotion to go before she hits her LTW, so it’s time to rummage through the neighbor’s garbage.

Apple: I’m getting too old for this.

Don’t worry, retirement is just around the corner.


Tallulah: We turn into teens today, so how about one more game of tag as children?


Rumer: I guess we could do that, sure.  It might get us a little more camera attention.


Tallulah: For the last time, would you please stop CHEATING?

Rumer: I’m EVIL.  How else am I supposed to show my trait?  You won’t listen when I try to mastermind my plot.

Tallulah: I give up!


Tallulah: I wish for more face time, even if I’ve been a spare since before I was born!


Tallulah: I didn’t mean more FACE, oh my god where is my beautiful HAIR?!

She looks a tiny bit like Fifi, methinks.  She rolled Never Nude.

Tallulah: In other words, with all my traits combined, I am a prude.


Rumer: I wish for anything BUT the hair Tallulah grew up in.  I’d rather not be laughed at.

It would fit your personality more, really.

Rumer: Nothx.


Rumer: Oh, thank goodness!

Rumer gets Natural Cook, meaning she will be preparing every single meal in the household until the day she moves out.

Rumer: Between that and rock collecting, I’ll never have time to be evil!



Rumer looks like Apple, only chubbier.  Pretty awesome if you ask me.

Rumer: Wanna hear my new plot?



Tallulah looks like Tallulah in pain.

Tallulah: No pain, no gain! 

You shouldn’t be running, you should probably lift some weights and eat some ice cream.  You’re scrawny.

Tallulah: I probably will, as soon as I’ve fatigued myself on this thing.  I could work out all day long!

More power to you.  I have trouble doing it for an hour.


And so life continues to be a party for Fifi, as she keeps on ignoring the pressure to find a spouse.  She’s 6 days away from Adulthood and the only romantic interest she’s acquired is the guy Story Progression forced upon her.  The question remains… Is my legacy going to die with Fifi Trixibelle?  Will one of the other girls have to step in as heiress?  Will it be a fight to the DEATH?  Thank you for taking time out of your day to read this rubbish!  Happy simming, yo.

4 thoughts on “Chapter Eighteen: The Cabbage Patch

  1. Fifi seems pretty carefree, ‘atta girl! lol. Hey, at least she won’t be able to pull an Apple and have babies when her other kids are young adults. Not saying I don’t enjoy the twins, they’re fun to watch and seem pretty useful.

    Hooray for Teddy Jo finally getting his girl! (even if it did take some “persuading”)

    Gerald is indeed an adorable old man! It’s crazy how their noses just multiply in size at that age..


  2. Lol she is pretty carefree! The twins are useful little accidents. I don’t think I’ll be giving in to those ‘Have a Child’ wishes anymore, unless the’re WAY younger :D

    That made me happy too! I’m now tapping my foot, waiting for babies. I think Justice and his wife are already pregnant with number 2.

    It is! I hope my nose doesn’t grow that large. I’d definitely have to get work done or something haha.


  3. Hahaha! I love your writing. And the random faces your Sims make are awesome.

    (I also have 2 kids and husband BTW—well, yeah, 3 kids)


  4. “Rumer: It’s EVIL! The difference is in the intention!”
    “Tallulah: I didn’t mean more FACE, oh my god where is my beautiful HAIR?!”

    Rofl, these two crack me up so much!


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