Chapter Sixteen: If You Give a Sim a Woohoo

There was a nice little surprise announcement at the end of last chapter, and before Apple pops I figure I have some ‘splainin’ to do.

See, what had happened was… Apple randomly rolled the want to have a child with Gerald one day.  I’ve noticed this sometimes happens when Sims are nearing their elderhood, maybe they want one more fling before the “issues” set in, know what I mean?  Anyway, so I figured, you know, they’re about six days away from being elders, plus Apple and Gerald barely have time for woohoo any more, so (pay attention, this is what NOT to do) what would ONE ‘TRY FOR BABY’ hurt at this point?  It’s not like they’ll actually get PREGNANT or anything.

Well, I guess you can see how that went.  I’m a genius, I tell you.

The rule I enforced as the ALMIGHTY CREATOR was that the other three Creeper kids couldn’t move out until after the baby was born.  This gave me time to get them a few more skill points and force them to put away all the books in their inventories before they went off on their own.  Because I’ll be darned if they steal my books, dangit.

I also gave the boys the Eye Candy reward, which allowed the maid to perv on sparkly Justice just a little more.  Creepy.

Teddy Jo (in background): Hey, can I keep The Crumpl–

No.

Fifi Trixibelle, our new heiress (by only a few votes, awesomest heir poll EVER), decided that the very first thing she’d do was break things.  I think that’s a pretty badass way to kick off the next  generation, don’t you?

By the way, the main bathroom has remained in the favorite colors of our lovely and dearly missed (sometimes) founders.  This is due to both laziness and respect.

So now we’ve reached the big moment.  It’s time for the new mistake baby to be here!  Teddy Jo is the only one home at the time.

Teddy Jo: No I’m not, Justice is in the bathroom!

Okay, the only one who cares, how about that?

Teddy Jo: What do I do?  Do I have to pull this thing out myself?!

Um, no.  But thanks for the disturbing visual.

Apple: Come along, Teddy, we must be going to hospital now.

Teddy Jo: Righto.  Jolly good.

I’m not sure why, but they just seemed ridiculously English in this shot, so I went for lame stereotyping. 

No matter what time it is when the labor starts, it never fails that there’s at least one person standing outside of the hospital ready to freak out at sims.  If this happened in real life, I think the world would be a lot less populated.

After the not-pictured-stranger’s freak out is finished and they’ve been properly sedated, Apple is finally allowed to go inside and have this thing.

Apple: Hello, guy, I’ve just had a baby.

Billy: That’s nice.  I’m reading Harry Potter.

Apple: You win.

Gerald: Oh, bliss.  *rolls want to have a child with Apple*

Not freaking happening!  And Teddy, whose baby did you steal?  Go put that back!

Teddy Jo:  Oh, this?  It’s ours too.

Twins D:  NOW the fertility treatment decides to work.

Billy: Omigodz, Harry’s a wizard!

Back at home…

Fifi: Twenty bucks says the kid’s named Bologna.

Justice:  You’re on.  I vote Moonshine Bunny.

Apple: It’s twins. Move out.

Justice: …

Fifi: Ohh, I’m so never going to woohoo.

Meet Tallulah Creeper, everyone!  Athletic and Easily Impressed, she is.  Both girls were named after daughters of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore.  I was never going to use their kids’ names anyway, so why not, amirite?  Her favorites are hot pink, Egyptian music, and Stu Surprise.

And this is Rumer Creeper, who is Evil but Disciplined, which automatically makes her cooler than everyone else (except maybe Fifi) in my opinion.  Her favorite color is black, food is Spaghetti, and music is Chinese.  I almost said her favorite food is Chinese.  Chinese food ftw.

Now does that precious little face look evil to you?

Rumer: I WILL EAT YOUR FACE OM NOM.

Fifi helps out with the late night feedings because she’s currently unemployed and needs to earn her keep.  Plus it gives her excellent practice for when it’s her turn.

Fifi Trixibelle: In twenty years.

Maybe not THAT long, but with there being small children in the house already, I guess we’re not in a big hurry for the sake of my sanity.

And ignore my epic wallpaper fail in the background.

And being that this is FIFI’S generation, the remodeling begins!  I think I did pretty well with the brightness levels this time around.  And hark!  Is that a TV I see?  Yeah, it’s about time this family gets introduced to TECHNOLOGY and all of its wonders!

Eventually I’ll be moving those ooglay blank portraits.

Fifi begins working on her LTW, since there’s really nothing better to do.  I could be getting her a job, but I want to get her earning tips and see how that goes.

Tiny Lady Hiding In The Bushes: Grawr, stupid lady stole my haircut!

Apple, as a reminder, is a Couch Potato, who’s only seen five sim minutes of television in her entire life.  She’s got catching up to do.

Apple: Watching TV, TV watching, people on TV, watching people on TV, TV with people, watching people, TV people watching, TV.

Loads of catching up, the crazy woman.

She and Fifi also spend a few hours bonding by playing video games.

Apple: This. Is. AMAZING!

Fifi: Yeah, amazing how much I’m whooping you right now!

While the women entertain themselves with the newfound technology, Gerald is apparently in the middle of an exorcism.  I’m about 97% sure that this is the creepiest thing I’ve seen in the game so far.

Ghost Formerly Known as Chad: Careful with that stereooooo.  Electricity kiiiiiiillsssss.

Repairman-man-man-man-man: Um…whosaidthat?!

Silly Beret: Wasn’t me, tee hee hee!

While on maternity leave, Apple catches up on some good old police work, questioning the maid about illicit activities.

Apple: Have you ever had romantic inclinations towards a man by the name of Justice Creeper?  And please note that I am required to punch you if the answer I receive is, in my opinion, unacceptable.

Maid: Who is Justice?!  No, no, I’ve never even looked at him I promise!  Don’t hurt me!

Her methods are a bit questionable…

While playing guitar in one of the Riverview parks (where I’ve never seen anyone, by the way), Fifi meets Yuri Ivanov, who is a dark, cool, and mysterious Music Talent Scout.  Looks like the kind of guy she could get with, doesn’t it?  I thought so too, but he’s married so no dice.

Yuri: If I were the ocean, you would be my pearl.  My wife would be the salt.  Our love would be more pure, though.

He talks in horrible love song lyrics, obviously.

Soon enough, it’s time for the twins to have their first birthday party.  I invited Justice and Teddy Jo, of course, but Justice is the only one who showed up.

I forgot to mention that I kindly freerealestated them into a nice house to share, and they’re both in relationships.  Justice is with someone named Robyn, and Teddy (who I’d hoped would be pushed into Betty’s arms by Story Progression) is with a girl by the name of Bessie.  I’ve yet to see these women, but I’ll keep you updated.

My husband’s simself (yeah, I stuck us in this town as well because I like to see how many kids we pop out – record is 7 :P) attends and dances his little pixelated bum off.

And Justice forgets about guitar playing to shake his groove thang with my man.  It’s a little creepy too, but that’s what I get for naming this legacy the way I did.  It’s full of creep.

I forgot that you can only age up one kid at a time, so let the cheering for hours commence.

Apple: Which one is this?

That would be Rumer.

Justice and Fifi: *synchronized noise maker twirl*

Tallulah: WHY AM I NOT FIRST TO AGE UP AND LYING IN RUMER’S UGLY BEEED?!

She just got kind of dropped off in the middle of getting her social up.  Whoops.

Rumer appears to be a toddler.  That’s all I can ever really say about them.

Who are these people and why are they at the party?  Do we even know them? 

Braided Hair Guy: I’m the Sweater Vest Gangsta, yo!

Pregnant Lady: I could go into labor and ruin this party any minute now!

It gets scary and screenshot-ruining-dark outside, so we move the festivities indoors.  Sweater Vest Gangsta gets down on some cake while everyone else yells loudly at a small infant.

Wabam.  Looky there, another toddler. 

How will they look after I attack them with mirrors and dressers?  Will I ever have room or time to carry on the legacy, or will Fifi get old and die before I’m able to get her a husband?  Are Sweater Vest Gangsta and Pregnant Lady an item?  Is it HIS baby, or does she have secrets?  Will Apple ever SMILE?

Find out the answers to these questions (maybe) and more next time, Gadget.  Next time.  Thank you for reading and commenting!  I don’t always have the time to reply (I’ve got two kids and a husband — so make that three kids — to take care of), but I thoroughly appreciate every single one I get.  Happy simming to you all!

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7 thoughts on “Chapter Sixteen: If You Give a Sim a Woohoo

  1. Things that made me LOL in this chapter:
    ~Apple: Hello, guy, I’ve just had a baby.
    Billy: That’s nice. I’m reading Harry Potter.
    Apple: You win.
    ~And Teddy, whose baby did you steal? Go put that back!
    ~Ghost Formerly Known as Chad
    ~It’s a little creepy too, but that’s what I get for naming this legacy the way I did

    Love this legacy!

    Like

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