Chapter Nine: What’s The Obsession With Weight?

Welcome back!  Sadly, this is about all Agnes does these days.  The ‘Mother of the Bride’ moodlet (which I find awesome, by the way) from her daughter’s wedding has come and gone, and now she waits for grandkids.  Or death.  Whichever comes first.

“Thank you so much for that.”

Anytime, Agnes!  Don’t get me wrong, lovie.  I will miss you when you’re gone.

Just a little note: You may have noticed the page and posts are looking a bit different these days.  I downloaded Windows Live Writer to help make updating less of a chore.  I’m loving it so far.

“Why aren’t there honeymoons in this game?  I really want to take Apple on a honeymoon.”

“Funny, I could’ve sworn I heard your honeymoon ALL night last night.”


Apple continues to get promotions on an almost daily basis.  It doesn’t look like she’s a very intimidating cop, though.

Mr. McMoocow: And you’re supposed to protect and serve?  Omg, PH33R the SVPD! 

The couple that paints together (hopefully) stays together.  And clearly Apple’s embracing every aspect of her chubby hubby.  Looks like she’s putting on a little weight of her own.

“I most certainly am not!”

“You kind of are, honey.”

Thank you, Gerald.

“What?!  Ooh, I’m so going to paint an ugly picture of you, Gerbear.”

Maybe you should be laying off the ice cream, Apple.  You’re going to get humong–

“DON’T say it.  I don’t want to hear it.  Work is stressful, okay?!”

What’s with the mood swings?  I mean, I know you’re not always a delight, but jeeze.

“Honey, I know you’re competitive and all, but seeing who can be the bigger of the two of us?  That’s kind of ridiculous.  Not to mention a little insulting.”

“…If you were hoping for woohoo tonight, Gerald, you are going to bed a VERY sad man.”

“Okay, mom, being that you’re the only one around here who hasn’t made a nasty comment about my weight gain, I’ve got something to tell you.”

“You’re not really my daughter?”

“No, mom.  I am your daughter.  Your pregnant daughter.  You’re going to be a grandma!”

“Oh my goodness!  Yay!  I don’t think ANYONE could have guessed that!”

Poor Agnes.  She’s so senile.

“Um, Gerald honey?  I’m not getting fat, okay?  I’m… having our first baby.”

“I think that deserves a friendly thumbs up.  Nice work.”

Way to be excited about your first born, Gerald.

Not even four sim hours after announcing her obvious pregnancy to the family, Apple goes into labor.

“I think I need to go to the bathroom.”

No, you need to go to the hospital.

“Are you sure?”

Yes.  No having babies in the toilet, general rule.  With our luck, The Toilet Caper would come around and steal our possible heir or heiress.  I’ll get your husband.

Portrait Chad: Yo, your wife is havin’ your baby.  Get outside.

“…I don’t get it.  Do we pretend not to hear him?  Is it supposed to be funny?  What’s the point of this?

It’s the only link I have to my founder, since his ghost is MIA.  I don’t care if it’s funny or not :P

“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that…  And you know what?  Apple makes the best apple pancakes ever.  These are red delicious.  Eh?  EH?!”

Oh, whoops, Apple!  Take her to the hospital, Gerald!  Baby!

And so Fifi Trixibelle Creeper was born!  Fifi Trixibelle was actually too long for the game’s liking (thanks for limiting our creativity, EA), so technically she’s just Fifi.  She was named after the eldest daughter of Bob Geldof (lead singer of the Irish rock band Boomtown Rats) and Paula Yates (British television personality).  Her favorite music is Latin, food is Key Lime Pie (like grandpa!) and color is… purple.  Yes, more purple.  She was born with brave locked in and rolled virtuoso.  Already, her future looks bright.

Fifi had barely settled into her crib when Gerald was already ready to try for baby number two.

“Your mom is older than old, babe.  We have to do it.  For her sake.”

You’ve really got a winner with that “for your dying mother” guilt tripping.


Agnes took advantage of Gerald and Apple’s private time and bonded with her new granddaughter.

“I am so sorry you had to be named Fifi Trixibelle, little one.  Young people these days don’t know the importance of a good, strong, non-embarrassing name.”

At least she’s not named after something people eat.

“I’m sorry I had to wake you, Gerald, but there’s something I want you to look at.”

“You see, I had a bunch of LTH Points that I wouldn’t be needing much longer, since I’m dying and everything.  I know Apple says she loves you the way you are, but I can see in your eyes that you’d like to change yourself.  I wanted to give you an easy fix, because you’re my favorite son-in-law.”

“I’m your only son-in-law.”

“Don’t ruin this tender moment.”

“I don’t know what to say except… THANK YOU, mom!  Can I call you mom?  After all, your son killed mine with his music.”

“Of course you can, deary.”

“So this is going to fix me?”

“Well, you can’t fix what isn’t broken, Gerald, but yes.  This will bring you the happiness you desire.  You’ll finally look like your icon.”

“Okay then, I’ll give this a shot.”

“Good boy.”

“If I can… get… through… the door.”

“You’ll be able to fit when you come out, I guarantee it.”

How did Gerald’s transformation go?  Does senile Agnes have ulterior motives?  Has the bitterness of losing two husbands (one of which has never once been mentioned in this legacy) finally gotten to Agnes, and is her inner Crumplebottom taking over despite this being her daughter’s husband?  I’m not telling.  Find out next chapter!  I cut this one short on PURPOSE.

5 thoughts on “Chapter Nine: What’s The Obsession With Weight?

  1. lol @ adaptation, a little demanding aren’t we? =D

    I’m excited to see the Gerald transformation as well…and Fifi Trixibelle’s cute little face. Crazy old Agnes better not mess Gerald up…or I might have to steal her awesome butterfly moo moo.


  2. LOL! Great chapter again!

    “You’re not really my daughter?”

    “No, mom. I am your daughter. ” HEHE

    Can’t wait to see the new Gerald, I hope Agnes doesn’t have evilness up her sleeve!


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