"Just… Just give me a minute, all right?"
"I just… oh… Get it together, Chad. People are watching. Breathe in… and out…"
"I think so. Okay, go."
All right, then. Welcome to the fifth installment of The Creeper Legacy! We last left our sickeningly sweet founding couple at the hospital, where they were giving birth to their octuplets. Because one baby isn’t enough anymore. Multiples are the new thing, haven’t you heard? By the way, this is really what he did the second Agnes came out of the hospital. I don’t know what’s up with that.
Okay, maybe I lied a little. There’s only one baby. A girl, named Apple! I’m sure the whole "weird celebrity baby names" naming scheme has been done before more than once in a legacy, but I happen to love the creative and horrendous things these wackos come up with, so that’s the theme I’m going for. Apple, of course, is the name given to the daughter of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin. When asked the reason for the unusual name, Gwyneth herself didn’t really even know. Why did YOU name her Apple, Agnes?
"…Because you forced me to?"
Nooo. Why did you name her Apple, Agnes?
"Oh. Uh, ahem. Because she is the apple. Of my eye."
Good work. Apple Creeper’s randomized traits are artistic and couch potato (great, I’ll have to buy a TV). Her favorites are electronica (can you imagine a baby at a rave?), french toast, and the color purple. Ha! I won’t have to re-decorate the nursery. That’ll never happen twice.
"The Chadster loves his Applewapple, yes he does!"
There is no doubt in my mind that Chad will be a great father. He’s been 100 percent committed to this baby since she was just her mommy’s clothing change.
"Okay, pretty Apple. Daddy would love to hold you all day long, but him and mommy gotta get started on a sibling, so you gotta be put down. Don’t go anywhere, got it?"
I don’t think there are any baby raves tonight, so you don’t have anything to worry about, Chad.
Chagnes really does need to hop to it with the siblings though. Aggieface has about 13 days left until she’s an elder and their sleep schedules have been way off lately, giving them no time for woohooing. I’m just glad we have THAT much time left. I thought she had much less fertile days when they got married.
"Prince Chadwick, how I’ve missed you!"
"Ditto, sweet cheeks."
The woohooing does the trick, and Agnes soon discovers she’s pregnant again. It’s a wonderful feeling, isn’t it Agnes?
"Shh! I’m crunching numbers!"
"Yes, definitely no room in the budget for lights now. Clap off! Now time to go clip coupons."
I love that about frugal sims. It’s so cute.
Chad is just as excited for this one as he was for Apple. This time both parents are hoping for a boy. I think I’d rather they have another girl. I’m seeing a lot of boy babies being born in town.
And now that I mention town, that reminds me of the Altos. Last chapter I was looking for them, because for whatever reason their house was suddenly vacant. I looked up stuff online and found that if you type listhomeless in the cheat menu, it’ll give you a list of all sims in town who are not living in a house. I did this, and there the Altos were! Why they were homeless, I have no idea. But I’d love to find out. Maybe they got caught doing their shady business endeavors and had to go into hiding.
"Chadwick, do you still love me?"
"Oh yeah, baby! More than ever! Why do you even have to ask?"
"Well, in Special Snowflake, the heroine’s husband left her because she got too fat when she had his children."
"That’s crazy, Agnes. You havin’ my children is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen."
"Oh, Prince Chad! You are so good to me."
That was really sweet, Chad.
"Besides, even if you do get fat, that’s more cushion for the pushin’, heh heh."
Always have to ruin moments, don’t you?
I had to put this picture in because Chagnes is just so freaking adorable. I am incredibly happy with this legacy so far, and I can tell it’s going to stick with me this time because I’m so attached to these silly pixels. Chad has really come around, and Agnes is just the sweetest sim in the world. I’ve never even seen her grumpy trait show. They’re so perfect together.
Anyway, getting on with the legacy now.
Today is little Apple’s birthday! That went by fast. I set up a party outside (even though I hate how everything gets so washed out) and invited the Goths over. Cornelia’s looking a little old and about to dieish, so I figured she and her sister need some quality time together before they part for good.
But the Creepers got stood up. Stupid Goths. Oh well. They’re still able to have a nice party for their daughter.
"Er, Chadwick, honey? I think you’re suffocating our baby."
"No I ain’t! She’s blowin’ out her birthday candle, dang it!"
"WOO! You grow up, Apple! That’s my girl!"
Agnes sure knows how to party hard. Careful when you’re blowing that, though. Don’t want that baby to fly out of you!
"…Aaaany minute now, Apple baby. I want some CAKE."
I love how sims get bored so quickly during birthdays.
The cocoon begins to wiggle and sparklies take over the aging process. This is the weirdest aging up animation evar. It’s strange to see a little swaddled baby sit up and sparkle. If my month old son did that I’m pretty sure I’d go running from the room. It wouldn’t be a happy thing, that’s for sure.
And here’s the beautiful butterfly! She’s got a weird hair color. It’s brown at the roots, then goes reddish, then goes brown again at the tips. Maybe it’s due to all of the brown and orange in the house? Or just the silly sims 3 genetic coding (or lack thereof). Either way, I think she looks interesting. But she needs a makeover.
There we go. She looks a lot like mommy, so I gave her mommy’s awesome hairstyle. She’s got her dark grey eyes and face structure (I think). I have a hard time seeing the similarities until they’re teens.
"I wanna watch TV!"
Not yet, Apple. Someone should make little toddler couches for little toddler couch potatoes. That would be super.
I have loads of pictures of Apple because she’s the cutest little thing. And because there’s nothing else going on in the house.
"Yous can put a fatscween in my woom now, kays?"
I think you mean flatscreen. Fatscreen would be pretty much opposite of that. But still no! I want you away from the TV as long as possible. You can’t even roll wants yet!
"I can in my head and my head say I wanna fatscween!"
Just play with your horsey.
Ever since that bout of crying at the hospital, Chad’s been crying often. I don’t know what it’s from. It seems like an over-emotional sort of thing, but he’s nothing close to over-emotional… Maybe he’s remorseful about flirting with Madison? What’s wrong, Chad?
"Agnes is in labor."
Oh! Well, then, hospital time?
"No, she wanted a home birth this time."
And you’re not in there helping her because…?
"It’s just so hard! Waaaah!"
I have no idea what’s going on with him.
Yeah, that looks pretty painful from here. I’d hate to be in there, too.
*more muffled yelling, directed at me*
"OH MY GOD, WHAT IS HAPPENING?!"
It’s called a sim birth.
"THIS IS NOT NORMAL!"
No, it really isn’t. But trust me, it’s much better than the alternative.
Welcome to the world, Moses Creeper! Moses is also the name of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s son. I thought it was only right to name a brother and sister after a brother and sister. He was born a friendly heavy sleeper. I’ve forgotten his favorite music and food, but his favorite color is… violet. Ew. So hard to decorate with without having a seizure.
What do you think of your new brother, Apple?
"Men awe scum and I will eat dem!"
She’s definitely got some old Crumplebottom blood running through her veins.
Whatcha doin’, Chad?
"Madison called. She wants my weiners."
Um… bad joke. Okay. But those are tofu dogs. She wants a hot dog.
"She ain’t gonna know the difference."
Have you SEEN her? She’s going to know the difference between tofu and the real thing.
"Look at that! You made me scorch my weiners!"
You’re not funny. Now go home. Your wife needs you.
"She ain’t in labor again, is she?"
Er, no. She’d have to be pregnant to be in labor. But trust me, you’re going to want to be home right now.
"All right then."
"My Prince Chadwick, I am so sorry that we are so busy with our children. I haven’t been able to please you as a wife should please her husband. When I was living sad and alone, I never thought about anything but finding you. And saving money. And reading. But mostly about finding you. Now I have you and I feel as though we’re slipping! Slipping apart like heated adhesive and the paper of an envelope you don’t want anyone to know you have opened. My soul, my mind, my body ACHES for you, Chadwick. Let’s not open this envelope! Now… the kids are sleeping. Let’s go woohoo."
Obviously Agnes had just finished reading Special Snowflake. Nevertheless, the love of Chagnes was renewed once again. And just as they finished, the cries of two children were echoing through the house. Trust me. I know how that goes.
The toddler skill building begins! Agnes handles talking.
"One day, little Apple, you will meet a big, strong man, possibly with long, flowing blonde hair and eyes that are sparkling pools of blue and turquoise. He’ll sweep you off your fragile feet and take you to the warm, sandy beach, where he’ll bring out his guitar and serenade you with songs about love and your beauty."
"Songs ’bout love an’ my booty!"
Chad takes care of the walking.
"Come to daddy, Apple! Come on, you can do it!"
"But daddy’s in his unnerwears! I don’ like daddy’s flower unnerwears!"
After learning everything, Apple has loads of free time to bring every single toy from the toy box into her parents’ bedroom. There are skilling toys around, you know.
"Bunny is bettar! And boat! And wocket! And horsey!"
I guess that would be the toddler’s equivalent to being a couch potato.
And now it’s birthday time for Moses! I didn’t bother with a party this time because I hold grudges. Grr. I refuse to be stood up again. What’s wrong with you, Agnes?
"I suddenly have a bad feeling about this area right here…"
That’s strange. I mean, I know the birthday cakes can burst into flames, but I don–"
No, Anges, I’m kiiidding. Let’s just age this little guy up.
Aww! He… looks almost like a clone of his sister. Huh. Same weird hair color and everything. I guess Agnes has some throwback genetics or something. I really hope these kids aren’t clones. First born syndrome doesn’t exist in sims 3, does it?
"I no match! Make me match!"
"Thank you! I love vylet!"
Okay, it’s really hard to tell if they’re clones. Here’s his playing picture…
And here’s Apple’s, not at the same angle. I… think their eyebrows and eye shapes are different, but… Sigh. I’ll find out eventually. They’re still super cute. And I only need one heir, so whatever. At least they’re different genders. Maybe we’ll try for one more kiddo.
Fixing the dishwasher, Chad? Why don’t you just call the repairman?
"I’m rollin’ wants to woohoo my wife, but we never have time. I’ve gotta take my frustrations out somewhere."
Well, good. At least you’re not going out and taking them out on someone else. I’m proud of you.
Chad?! Chad! Answer me!
NO!! Chad!! DO NOT WANT!! DOOOO NOOOOT WAAAANT!
"What the– WHOA, where did this fire come from?!"
"OH MY GO, CHADWICK! SCARLETSIMPHONY, DO SOMETHING!!"
"What’s this on my hand? Chocolate? Or…"
"DO SOMETHING, PLEASE! QUIT WITHOUT SAVING! I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!"
I can’t, Agnes. I have it set to autosave every 30 minutes. Guess when the 30 minute mark was.
"NO, THIS CANNOT HAPPEN! MY PRINCE CHADWICK!"
The Grim Reaper shows up in a puff of stink. And holy crap, his music is so freaking scary when you’re in the dark in an entirely quiet house! *snuggles up in blanket*
"Long time no see, Agnes Crumplebottom. Or, I suppose it’s ‘Creeper’ now, which would explain why you haven’t called."
I don’t want to be one to argue with the Grim Reaper, but I’m pretty sure you’re thinking of MRS. Crumplebottom from the sims 2, who is completely different from Agnes. Agnes never had a love affair with you, Grimmy. As far as I know.
"I swear I remember that face. And those legs… Ah, well. There’s still time to get to know her, being that her hubby’s dying and all."
"What’s goin’ on, Moses?"
"Oh. Hey, your shirt is really bright."
"No, please! I’ll do anything, Grim Reaper! Don’t take my one true love away from me! It happens way too much to my family!"
"Yes, well… See how he’s already a glowing yellow ball? That means it’s too late, Agnes. You’ll have to move on. Believe me, I see many people die, each and every day. Love comes, and love goes. Life goes on and better things come along. Better things in long, black cloaks, perhaps. You will feel grief, but you will get through it. I can help you by letting you know that Chad Creeper was a creep, utterly. He flirted behind your back, he left you as his last resort, he even–"
HEY! Do NOT insult my founder’s death, Mr. Grim Reaper! You may not have a soul, but Chad was a good man and I will see to it that his death isn’t full of bashing from the underworld! He truly loved Agnes and she was not a last resort. Through all the flirting he did, he only rolled wants for HER. Just shut up and do your job.
"Well,well. Someone’s got their panties in a knot. You did nothing but complain about Chad from day one, I didn’t think you cared. Fine, allow me to finish creating the ghost of Chad Creeper with my ULTIMATE POWERS OF DOOM THAT CAN HARM ANY AND EVERYONE WHO TESTS ME."
Do it, then! I’m not scurred.
"Welcome to the after-life, Chad Creeper. I’m sure you’re happy to be away from that thing behind this screen."
"Nah, she’s cool. I don’t think I wanna say thank you because you assisted with my death, but thank you anyway.
"Now I’ll be off. Until we meet again, scarletsimphony."
RIP Chad Creeper, who died prematurely, just one day away from becoming an adult. I did complain about him a lot, but I really did like him and he was the very first sims 3 sim I’d become attached to. He didn’t care what anyone thought, he was The Chadster, of course! He loved his wife and children, truly and deeply. Still smiling creepily as a ghost, I hope to continue seeing him around. Believe it or not, he will be missed :(
And NOW the firewoman shows up.
I hadn’t built anything remotely like a graveyard because I wasn’t expecting a death this soon, so this won’t be Chad’s final resting place. I did give him flowers in orange, since they’re his favorite color. This is just so sad. I didn’t think I’d be burying my founder this early on.
And now the future of a legacy rests in the sticky little hands of two toddlers, whose only concern at their innocent age is their toys. They can’t fully comprehend what’s happened here today. They don’t know what their mother is going through.
"How will my heart ever mend, scarletsimphony? How?! I can barely hold the pieces together, and they will never fit in my chest the same way again. I am a shell of a woman. I have loved, I have lost, and I only have my beautiful children to remind me of a man that once was."
Until next time.